There was a time, not so long ago, that if you had shown me the box of chocolates above I would have been drooling all over myself. If there is one thing I love more than bacon (well, almost) it’s chocolate. I was addicted. To get over that, I started playing computer mahjongg. I played solitaire Nanjing for hours! I thought I could get over that by starting to blog, and it worked. But, now I have a “blogging addiction.” If you think you, or someone you know may have a problem with “blog abuse,” remember it is not humorous. These are the problems for which you should be watching:
1. The two of you are “home alone;” the children are at Grandmommy’s house and the cats are asleep. Your significant other has surprised you with candlelight, wine, flowers and takeout from your favorite Thai restaurant. He is feeling frisky and starts making eyes at you. “Not now, honey,”" you reply. “I have to answer my comments.”
2. You wake up at 2:00 a.m., not from hot flashes, but to check your stats.
3. When you do sleep, you have fitful dreams of speaking in html and writing a kick butt post. It’s all gone from your mind when you awaken.
4. You’ve spent weeks trying to arrange for the plumber to come repair the leak in your home’s slab. At last you have a date with him, and when he shows up you forgot he was coming. Although you have been up and at the computer since 4:30, you have never gotten dressed. You don’t even care that you are wearing your funky “Sunday sweatpants” (the “holey” ones) and a t-shirt that says, “Congratulate Me, I Used to Be Anorexic.”
5. You have waited for three weeks while sporting events pre-empted your “Ugly Betty.” At last the new episode is scheduled, and you are so caught up in an internet conversation with people you don’t know that you totally forget to watch it. After that, you just say, “Ah, forget it” and blog instead.
6. The family comes home from their day out in the world, and you are surprised, because you didn’t realize that nine hours had passed. You have totally forgotten to cook, so you slap a can of Spaghettios on the table…for the third time this week.
7. Not only that, you forget to eat lunch…which might make blogging a good substitute for dieting, except that you are ravenous when your husband brings home Happy Meals from McDonalds.
8. Not only that, you forget to partake of all of your other vices.
9. Your family is taking a vacation at last. As your spouse drives along a treacherous stretch of highway, with hazardous traffic on all sides, you scream, “STOP!!” at the top of your lungs. He screeches to a halt at the side of the road, almost colliding with three cars in his path. You jump out of the car to take a picture of the billboard that says, “Beaver Builders, Damn Fine Homes” so you can post it for Wordless Wednesday.
10. You and your spouse go out with your favorite friends. Their eyes glaze over as you relate the hilarious posts that your on-line friends Flibber T. Bibbet and Rabble Fraggit have posted over the last month and a half. Their smiles freeze on their faces as you regale them with the latest news about your Technorati ranking and the memes in which you have chosen to participate. Suddenly, they remember another engagement. After that, when you try to call all you get is the answering machine.
11. Your child is telling you about a triumph at school, and all you can think about is, “Should I turn this into a funny post or make it poignant?”
12. On your anniversary dinner, at the most prestigious restaurant in town, you take out your notebook so you can scribble notes for your next post.
13. You get so caught up in blogging that you forget to return a client’s call in a timely manner. When you do, they have hired someone else. You lost the job. You got “Dooced.” That does not make you into an uberblogger—it makes you a putz.
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I scare my mom and sister so many times. Whenever something happens when we’re out together, I just blink and say, “This is so going on my blog tonight.” I turn around and they’re staring at me speechlessly.
I have all these symptoms EXACTLY as you describe them. I’m a blog addict. But I’m lovin’ it!
Fantastic T13 list (which made me laugh so much) and I’m adding you to my blogroll
Thank you! I’m so sorry you have the same addiction. Maybe we won’t get over it.~skt
I know, I know!!!….Maybe we could come up with a 13 step program to get over our blog addictions. We could meet on Thursdays!!!
Oh, wait, we already do. That’s how we all got hooked to begin with
I love your site–been reading through it and I swear every post seems better than the next. Love ya!!!
Happy TT- Jessica The Rock Chick
OK, You can come up with the 13 step program, and everybody can come to my house for chips and beer. I’m glad you are visiting. Come “set on the porch” with me anytime. I’ll definitely be back to your house.~skt
Oh no! I think that describes me to a t!
Another member of the club! Welcome!~skt
halfway through, as I read it out loud to my husband, I started laughing so hard, I was crying and choking on my words, having to pause to control myself. He just stood there with THAT look, shook his head in agreement and said, “So, it IS a disease.” Then said, and you were on your way out to do yard work and walked downstairs. (I lOVE yard work.) So, I’m off, but now I can hardly breathe, don’t think any one could have written it better than you just did. Thanks for the hearty laugh and for messing up my sinuses and non waterproof mascara.
I should be ashamed of myself for ruining your mascara! I hate it when that happens. I was just calling it like it is. I’m glad it tickled your funny bone.~skt
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