An Apology to That Driver

Dear Sir,

I do so apologize for having the audacity to drive in front of you as you raced in your little blue sports car on that winding country road. I know that you were upset that I was blocking your pathway. I could read your lips very clearly in my rear view mirror for the eight long miles we drove together. I am so glad that your Momma didn’t hear what you said, or she would have washed your mouth out with Lifebuoy Soap. Believe me when I tell you from my own experience that Lux soap tastes better!

You made it very clear that I annoyed you as you sped up, dropped back and sped up again almost kissing your front bumper to my back bumper. Unfortunately you couldn’t pass me because of the inconsiderate drivers that kept coming from the other direction. I would have gladly pulled out of your way, but there was no shoulder on the road, and I was afraid of the drop off into the ditch at the side of the road. There were no driveways into which I could pull; and if I had it’s likely that you would have smashed into my rear end before I could have turned. That would have been unfortunate for your lovely little car.

I know you were in a hurry to get where you were going. Perhaps you could have set your alarm earlier and left your house on time. That’s what my Momma would have told me to do.

I dearly hope you will forgive me. I admit that I didn’t know the road well and was looking for the street onto which I needed to turn. That road had more twists and turns than a plot for an episode of Days of Our Lives, didn’t it?. There were signs posted telling us to watch out for deer crossing the road. Can you imagine? I think the highway department should put those deer crossing signs somewhere where it is safer for the deer to cross, don’t you?

I did my best not to annoy you. For your sake, I drove 10 miles an hour above the posted speed limit, even though it was still dark, drizzling rain and the road was slick. Though I was unfamiliar with the road, I was more frightened of you driving less than three feet behind me than I was of any hazards on the road ahead.

Perhaps you are unaware that in the State of Texas, the traffic law requires that you keep one car length distance from the car ahead for every 10 miles per hour of speed. Or, maybe you just aren’t good with math? I can relate to that, because math isn’t my strong suit either, but I can eyeball how long a car is. I don’t think the law meant for you to measure with those Hot Wheels cars you had when you were little, Sir. Of course, the State of Texas also posts speed limit signs, but everyone knows that those are just suggestions.

Though you and I may not speak the same language, I very clearly understood the sign language that you flashed to me when I finally got the opportunity to turn. It was that universal symbol with one finger. All I can say to you, Sir, is “Only in your dreams!”

I doubt that you will read this, but perhaps someone will read it to you. I am quite convinced you cannot read. As you sped away down the highway to your rendezvous with your fate, I saw the bumper sticker on the rear of the car you were driving (surely, it must have been a borrowed car). That bumper sticker said,

“Visualize World Peace.”


May peace begin with you, Sir.

My Regards,

S.K.T.

  23 comments for “An Apology to That Driver

  1. May 14, 2007 at 6:37 am

    O.M.G.! All I can think of is “what goes around comes around”, and I feel sorry for that man just as much as I would have slowed down 10-20 miles under the speed limit JUST to pi$$ him off and force him to pass me! Those people are the reason you can find me at home most of the time! 😯

    Oh, Leanne, I tried to slow down, but the road curved too much and he couldn’t pass. The only way to save myself was to try to stay ahead of him! That was the longest eight miles I’ve ever driven in my life, I think.~skt

  2. May 14, 2007 at 7:06 am

    I don’t think the law meant for you to measure with those Hot Wheels cars you had when you were little, Sir.

    You are one funny lady Shelly. I hate tailgaters, and unfortunately we’ve got more than our fair share of them over here. Israeli drivers are AWFUL. Makes driving in NYC look like a a stroll down a country lane at times…

    OMG! Robin that DOES sound bad. I always try to keep a good distance between my car and the one ahead. Driving around Texas for the past twenty-odd years for work, I’ve seen too many accidents because of tailgating. I don’t have any desire to be a statistic (except of course on Technorati :lol:).~skt

  3. May 14, 2007 at 7:08 am

    I live just off a road where the posted limit is 55, but the suggested retail limit is apparently 75. And it’s traveled regularly by fully loaded 18 wheelers. My hats off to you for keeping yourself as calm as you seemed in the post.

    Those 18 wheelers scare me most of all! I wonder if some of them got their driver’s licenses at Montgomery Wards (as my Daddy used to say). I’m not sure I was terribly calm at the time. My arthritic knuckles turned white. Thanks for visiting!~skt

  4. May 14, 2007 at 7:53 am

    Touche!

    I hope somebody does read this to all the “him’s” out there!

    Yep, Karen, I don’t want to hem and haw about it. I want ALL the “him’s” and “her’s” to have this read to them! :lol:~skt

  5. May 14, 2007 at 8:36 am

    Great letter to ‘those’ drivers. I love that he had that bumper sticker to boot. Funny post!

    Thanks Lisa. I just couldn’t resist, even though he will never see it. It was “therapy” for me to write it, know what I mean?~skt

  6. May 14, 2007 at 8:53 am

    This letter is to all of those drivers and yes ‘they know who they are’! There is nothing worse than a tailgater.

    Here they do one even better – if they think you are going too slow – they will whip out and drive in the parking lane to pass you – even through school zones and the like!

    Once when my DH was stopped for some kids crossing at the corner a car whipped out and if it wasn’t for DH swerving out, the kids would have surely been hit.

    I often wonder how some of these drivers get their licenses and how they keep them in good standing.

  7. May 14, 2007 at 9:10 am

    OMG. What a hoot.

    Thanks, SusieJ. It was not a hoot when it was happenin’!~skt

  8. May 14, 2007 at 9:37 am

    LOL I love the way you write!

    Thank you. You’d be laughing harder if you saw me here in my pajamas at 4:30 in the morning. I’m glad people can’t see me while I do this! Thanks for stopping by this morning.~skt

  9. May 14, 2007 at 10:26 am

    That is too funny – here they not only tailgate but if they get really peeved off they pass in the parking lane, sometimes even through school zones…the world is full of em!

    Fortunately, Tea, this fellow had at least a lick of sense. If he had tried to pass me he would have gotten splattered on the road. I’d have been a lot angrier at him if I had to scrape him off the highway.~skt

  10. May 14, 2007 at 10:52 am

    I must admit that it’s so amusing when irony slaps you in the face. Maybe the rest of the bumper sticker got cut off. “Visualize World Peace…and then realize that it’s not ever going to happen”

    πŸ˜† πŸ˜€ Cynic! ~skt

  11. May 14, 2007 at 11:07 am

    That happened to me once and I finally had to stop for a red light. When it turned green, I didn’t move. Of course he honked like crazy but I just sat there. Finally I saw him get out of his car so I to stepped out. Of course, being an ex football player, and just slightly north of 300 lbs. I don’t stress too much about people doing anything to me other than yelling. I said “What’s your problem?” as he jumped back in his car. I waited until the light turned yellow and went across at the last second. Never saw him again πŸ˜€

    Oh, yeah, GUYS can do stuff like that. However, these days road rage is so prevalent it probably isn’t a good idea. Although you might be big and the other fellah a tiny squirt, a gun is a great equalizer, and you never know about some of those folks! Laugh about the last time, but think twice the next! We don’t want to lose getting to read your blog :grin:~skt

  12. May 14, 2007 at 11:08 am

    You go girl. You just showed some great common sense and a truckload of class. You go girl. πŸ™‚

    Thank you ma’am. I didn’t want to dignify his actions by a re-action.~skt

  13. May 14, 2007 at 12:07 pm

    I saw the humor, but I felt the tension (mainly because I put myself in your car and I know how long 8 miles really is in the rain!) About the only thing I don’t like about our move to the “country” is all the long and winding roads, deer signs in the “wrong” places and your tailgater’s quadruplet siblings driving our roads. Guess a lot of Texas will be looking out for that bumper sticker now, LOL.

    Yes, Marcia, they will be looking out for it—-but they won’t SEE it until that fella finally gets in front of them! πŸ˜‰ ~skt

  14. May 14, 2007 at 12:36 pm

    Great prose. Made my day. (I had one of those types cut me off the other day!!!)

    Thanks for dropping by to visit, Damien. I enjoyed discovering your blog today. Isn’t it frustrating when you find yourself sharing the road with folks like that?~skt

  15. May 14, 2007 at 1:26 pm

    This is EXACTLY the reason that if I have to pay $40.00 (plus the cost of that darn parking ticket) to put a sticker on my car, it should be the Happy Bunny with the little “kiss my you know what” lips! I’d even pay extra if it blinked or something when necessary.

    I have to say that guy is lucky he’s driving around in Texas where you have all of that southern hospitality and niceness.
    If he were driving like that here behind me (or anybody) in Chicago, that little blue sports car would have rearended me. Whether he meant to or not πŸ˜‰

    I would say awesome post, but ,you know, I promised!!! πŸ™‚

    Jessica The Rock Chick

    Well, I’m not sure we have that much southern hospitality or niceness. I think he would have been happy to crash into my car, as long as his didn’t suffer. Thanks for keeping your promise…~skt

  16. May 14, 2007 at 3:13 pm

    β€œVisualize World Peace.”

    It was that universal symbol with one finger.

    I believe he was using the wrong visuals!!
    People like that just don’t get “it!”

    He thought the bumper sticker said, “Piece.”~skt

  17. May 14, 2007 at 4:24 pm

    I hope you managed to get his registration number and report him.

    I have to deal with this sort of idiot every day. I have a 100-mile round trip to work and let me tell you, there are some complete idiots on the road…

    Naww. I just let him drive. His karma will get him. Besides, if I had tried to write and call AND drive, I WOULD have hit that ditch. Sometimes it’s better to just let it roll off of you like water off of a duck’s back.~skt

  18. May 14, 2007 at 5:28 pm

    Glad he didn’t smash into you! And you are right about the Karma stuff getting him – I could tell it already affected his blood pressure.
    Have a happy Monday!
    ~Frigga

    Same to you Frigga, though Monday is almost done for me. I’m glad he didn’t smash me also!! ~skt

  19. Jen
    May 14, 2007 at 6:25 pm

    If I am not pmsing twice a month, this is what I do…slow down and then ignore the tail gater. Because really, it’s his problem that he is behind you and if he hits you then it’s his fault. Think happy thoughts while his blood pressure rises.

    Okay, so if I am pmsing, I just vary my speed…
    Did you smile and wink when he gave you his best gesture?

    Jen, it’s his fault if he hits me, but I might still get hurt! And, I don’t want my car smashed. When he “told me how many friends he had” I just smiled and waved.~skt

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  21. May 14, 2007 at 7:04 pm

    I always wonder – out loud, much to my wife’s humiliation – how much later people think they’ll be when they’re dead. That is, would driving like a lunatic to shave that extra minute and a half of your trip really be worthwhile if it meant that you might crash, burn, and never arrive at your destination?

    I wonder if this behavior is fueled (yes, pun intended) by the fact that for more than 50 years, American car buyers have been suckered & steered into a fascination with useless and inapplicable automotive performance? There’s such a silly fascination with the “zero to 60” score on cars these days. What does it matter how quickly I can hurtle my steel behemoth up to 60 m.p.h. when the speed limit is most often far, far less than that?

    So right, Rob. But folks like that aren’t really “thinking” are they? All that matters to me is that I get there! Thanks for stopping by. Visit again! ~skt

  22. JAM
    May 15, 2007 at 8:59 am

    It’s probably either his wife’s car, or she put the sticker on his car. I can’t imagine that personality type putting that bumper sticker on their car themselves.

    I struggle with getting upset with folks who try to pressure me to move faster.

    I blame NASCAR. I think everybody imagines themselves in a tight race with Jeff Gordon, and us suckers who drive normally are between them and the checkered flag. At least that’s what I like to believe, otherwise, they’re just horse’s behinds.

    πŸ˜† I don’t think we can blame NASCAR. I agree wholeheartedly that they are horse’s behinds. But, that doesn’t mean that WE have to be!~skt

  23. Alissa
    May 24, 2007 at 7:52 pm

    I am laughing outloud! You have such a way with words… I love it!

    Pshaw! Glad to see you back and posting!~skt

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