1) My Aunt La Verta, bless her heart, kept a matchbook with her all the time. Whenever she was feeling “gassy,” she pulled out a match and lit it. Did she think she was hiding the smell? It didn’t. And, it brought attention to what she had just done. Sorta like tootin’ like a foghorn and then announcing to the world at large, “Oops. Stepped on a frog.”
2) Why do men who are losing their hair do that comb-over thing? Don’t they realize that it just calls attention to the bald spot? If they would just shave their heads, they could be “sexy.” Telly Savalas was voted the sexiest man alive at one point in his career. I won’t argue with that. And, besides, don’t “they” say that bald men are more virile? I don’t know who “they” are, and I’m not sure if that’s just propaganda, because I have no personal experience on the matter. If that’s true, I would think a man would wear a bald head as a badge of honor! What do y’all think?
3) Why is it that my cats prefer to drink out of the toilet when they have perfectly good water bowls? If I happen to utilize the toilet for it’s intended purpose, they give me an indignant look that says, “Hey, we don’t do that in your glass of tea!”
4) Why does my drive through ATM at the bank have Braille on the keypad?
5) Why do the advertisements for foods at Sonic look so much better than what they serve me? Why do I keep believing that it will look better next time?
6) Why is it that when I stand in line at the store that is called “Everything Is A Dollar.” invariably someone holds up an item to show the clerk and says, “How much is this?” Duh.
8) Why do people who seem reasonably intelligent say things like, “The Big Rio Grande River” and “Automatic ATM Machine?” They also say “revert back,” “added bonus,” “prior history,” and “close proximity.” Don’t they know they are being redundant, and repeating themselves also, too, as well? What other redundancies do we say? Do you think of any?
9) My girlfriend insists that Preparation H will help hide her wrinkles. That stuff is supposed to shrink swollen hemorrhoids. Aren’t wrinkles already shrunken skin? She’s not any less wrinkled than I am, and I don’t smell like that nasty stuff…at least not on my face.
10) I have a newspaper article here that claims that women who get less than 8 hours of sleep a night gain an average of two pounds per year. I get about 6 hours of sleep every night. If I gave up housework and just slept for 10 hours a day, how long would it take me to lose 10 pounds?
11) What is Victoria’s “Secret?” It’s all on display in the storefront windows. As far as I can tell, the models show darn near everything they have, too. Doesn’t seem to me that there are any “secrets” left!
12) Why does the current KFC advertising on television play the song “Sweet Home Alabama?” I thought that KFC stood for Kentucky Fried Chicken.
13) My neighbors, God love them, worked for hours “decorating” their mailbox. Somehow it lost something between the concept and the execution.
Don’t y’all go telling them that I posted their mailbox on the World Wide Web.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Leave a comment and you will be magically linked on this post. Then go visit other Thursday Thirteen participants. Come back another day and “set a spell” on the porch with me.
I’m making a list of other 13s I’ve enjoyed:
- It’s a Raggedy Life lists ways you know you live in North Dakota.
- Sasha Says has her first TT posted. We could welcome her…
- Di’s Book Blog, etc lists things her family does that make her crazy. We can all relate!
- Wylie’s Words did the Google list of “needs” with her responses
- Least Significant Bits listed his needs, too! Must be time to google to see what I need!
- J’s Thought and Musings will tell you all about New Hampshire! Ask her if she has a guest bedroom.
- Riley Central has “Dad I’m Not Lying.
Technorati Tags: Thursday Thirteen
“PIN Number.” That redundancy bothers me. Oh, and comb overs? So NOT sexy. I agree, just shave it all off.
PIN number…that’s a good one, thanks! I forgot that one. What others?~skt
These are great. And ATTENTION MEN: There is absolutely nothing you could possibly do to your hair that would be less attractive than a comb-over. Shave it, keep it trimmed neatly with the bald spot on display, EVEN ONE OF THOSE RIDICULOUS SKINNY PONYTAILS WITH FOUR STRANDS OF HAIR, these are all a better choice than the comb-over.
I don’t care much for the ponytails, either. And, they don’t *really* have to shave it…just cut it shorter.
~skt
I guess your #2 is because they got used to comb their hair when they still had it. I guess its just a habit that later on will disappear.
Mine is up too.
Just like their hair. Thanks for visiting~skt
Don’t get me started on redundancies or other grammar problems. They drive me bonkers. But now that I’m trying to think of some examples, my brain goes completely blank. Typical.
I know what you mean about the mind going blank. I suddenly couldn’t think of the examples about which I always fume
That’s why I asked you!~skt
Great TT - your neighbours’ mailbox is an abomination against the universe itself. Someone should back their car into it…
“Someone” should…wonder who I could bribe?~skt
ROFL! You got to love eccentric relatives.
I remember in grad school at the post office I went to one of the employees had a comb over. In his case he took it from the back and flipped it over the front. It was the oddest look and you couldn’t help staring at him. And if he turned around you saw the part cut the back of his head where he’d flipped the hair up (and greased it). EEEw!
Well, my Aunt LaVerta you would have loved, if eccentric appeals to you! It’s hard not to stare at bad hair, isn’t it?~skt
HEE HEE HEE!!!! I’ll have you know you’ve given me a giggle attack with these.
The combover thing: my hubby and I watched a documentary on the Sundance channel (I think it was) about combovers. It was hilarious! And I’m like you, why, fertheloveofPete, comb over!? Sean Connery is far better looking without hair than he ever was with hair, IMO.
And giggling about your kitties drinking out of the toilet! Two of ours like to drink out of the sink, and our spazzy little Siamese kittyboy likes to hop up on the toilet seat and watch the water go round and round and round then down while it’s flushing. His little head moves syncopated to the water. He doesn’t drink out of it, though.
And *shudder*, that mailbox! My eyes will never be the same.
Happy TT, and thanks for the laughs!
Anytime, Thomma Lyn. It makes my day if you come over and laugh! I know that you understand about cats, for sure! I agree about Sean Connery!~skt
Not participating in TT, but had to comment. Great list of things. I would love to know the answers to some of them too. Loved the maches one. YUK!
I met Telly Savalas back in the early 80s. He was short, but still very good looking.
Excellent TT presentation. You write so well.
Thank you, Sandee. I had no idea Telly Savalas was short!? You don’t have to be participating in TT to come by here and visit. That’s why I don’t like to use Mr. Linky. He scares folks away if they aren’t “playing the game.”~skt
LOL - Great list. And ‘FREE GIFT’ instantly came to mind on the topic of redundancies.
Yep, “free gift” is a good one…and it’s also probably non-existent!
~skt
We have to keep our toilet lids down because one of my cats tries to splash all the water out of the bowl. He won’t drink it (for whatever reason, my cats only drink running water); he just plays and splashes. Since a wet floor is begging for knee surgery, we just keep the lid down and get him other toys.
*sigh*
Pets.
Happy TT!
At least mine don’t splash it *all* out, though I have accused my husband of making the mess on the floor only to find out it was the cat.~skt
That is a strange looking mailbox, but then again - I live in a Trailer park and seen everything from old gas grills to an Igloo cooler turned into a Mailbox. This one actually looks pretty good.
~skt
Next to an Igloo cooler it might
OK — I thought my bank was messed up when I saw the braille thing. So it’s in Texas too?! What IS up with that? I was kind of distracted with the kids when I saw it — and I thought , WTF? I have to be seeing things. That’s really sad about the mailbox. And you’re the one who must look at it everyday. Thank you for the laugh — but really, thank you for validating that braille thing that was driving me crazy.
That mailbox is very sad. When I walk past and see those folks in the yard, it’s hard to keep the smirk off my face. ~skt
We call the comb over, the Shemp look…am I dating myself? Do you know who Shemp is? If you don’t then your husband will.
Do you want to know how evil I am? When I came to your blog, I just wanted to leave a “Happy TT, mine is up” Wouldn’t you have had a field day with that one.
Love the mailbox, heard they are making a pink one for you!
Smarty-pants! Yes I know who Shemp is. And, you are evil aren’t you
A pink mailbox? In a pig’s eye.~skt
The people who say that bald is sexy or virile are bald people trying to kid themselves!
Hey self-delusion is a good thing. I practice it all the time
~skt
I love Jen’s comment too - that would be too funny! I’ll save it for her to do one day.
The comb overs are so pathetic - I think the Don should shave it all off, but somehow I don’t think he’s very virile. Who knows though, he does have a young wife to keep up with.
We have the braille on our ATM’s too - what is up with that?
Good TT - I can’t decide if I should just put up my Header 13 for people to snag headers or my timeline one of things that have changed since I was a kid, decisions decisions.
Hasn’t Donald had several younger wives? I don’t keep up with the rich and famous. I don’t know about those braille ATMs at the drive through window. Maybe they are just too cheap to buy two kinds of ATMs. I’ll have to pop over and see what you decided for your TT~skt
Regarding the Prep H, I believe it has steriods in it (or a derivative of it) and that helps the skins general elasticity (or plumpness)?
Probably pure hearsay. No wonder its barred in a court of law! Happy TT
Prep H is barred in a court of law??
OHHH, “hearsay.” I had to read it twice. 
~skt
Very cute.
Happy TT
Thanks! Same to you.~skt
In Boca you would get a nasty letter from the homeowners’ association about that mailbox. OMG…we were worried we were going to get one when we left our trash cans out and went away for the weekend. Some kindly soul/PO’d neighbor put them away for us!
Lucky for you! I hate homeowner’s associations. We are lucky that our cat sitter does that for us.~skt
LOL I wondered the same thing on the KFC ad!
They just liked the beat, they didn’t listen to the words…
~skt
Great TT!! The mailbox is too much!What is all that junk on the bottom? Is that supposed to be abstract art??? Hmmmmm….I just wrote something in my blog about one man’s trash……
Ok, I’ll tell one secret. The Prep H thing does work for puffy eyes. Not so sure how well it would work on wrinkles. It really burns though, so either way, your eyes don’t look all that great
You learn a lot of self-torturous things in the name of beauty competing in pageants. My personal fave was the duct tape under the chest for added cleavage. OUCH!
Thank goodness Victoria eventually came along with her Wonder Bras!!! By the way, I have no idea what her secret actually is, but I’m sure it’s a good one!!
Happy TT!
Jessica The Rock Chick
Oh, no! You use Prep H on your face too??? I’m aghast
~skt
This matchbook is really funny! And the comb-over, yeah, I was thinking of that as well. Might as well shave their head or just let the hair be. And some bald men are really sexy!
Hahahah… Victoria’s Secret is that there is no secret anymore! Lol
Happy TT! Mine’s up as well
Victoria’s Secret may well be that no *real* woman can actually fit in those underdrawers!
~skt
That was a great list of things! They made me think and they made me laugh. Thanks for that! I like the braille on the ATM thing though. I’m all for braille giving access to the blind, but I have often wondered how much it’s actually used.
Oh and it’s not as ironic as the things that you mentioned but isn’t it amusing how “retro” always comes back as a fashion?
On reading about what you get annoyed by, I thought that I could share my post: Learn Some English Part 1.
Thanks for stopping by, Derek. I’ll go see what you have posted! I don’t mind braille on a *walk-through* ATM, but a *drive through???* That’s too scary.~skt
Now that’s some mailbox! Yikes. Happy TT.
I KNOW that Mailbox!! I’m telling I’m telling…lol
Just kidding…
I enjoyed your entire list and laughed out loud!!!
Thank you!
Terrific Thursday Thirteen!
My TT is posted.
Have a wonderful day!
Happy TT’ing!
*^_^
(=’:'=)
(”)_ (”)Š
Raggedy
I wonder if they find out anyway. Thanks for visiting. I love your typing art!~skt
Pleeze don’t tell my neighbors
HAHA Those are great! I am so with you on the combover. It is just hard to let it go, I guess. GREAT LIST!
Women don’t do much better, though. I come from the country of “big Hair” and it’s pretty sad sometimes
~skt
What a great list!! I laughed all the way through it….can I add co-conspirator to #8? And, Irregardless…gosh, those both really grate.
??:
(Oh…and its *not* PC anymore to refer to KFC as “Kentucky FRIED Chicken…they took KFC because ppl don’t want fried food - now, it stands for Kentucky FRESH Chicken…just a little useless FYI
)
I’ve never been known for being terribly PC. It’s still fried chicken to me! Co-conspirator is a good one…and irregardless! Thanks for adding them~skt
It is 7am on Thursday and I’m the 27th commentor…mmm….anyway…WHERE’s YOUR SIGN? The general public needs to wear their sign on their forehead. It is amazing what things in life our energy is waisted on! I agree with your whole list and it makes me sad for the human race. Unfortunately I am also a victim of the Sonic mentality! Have a great Thursday - LC
Yeah…some of the folks I mentioned need to be wearing a sign! I never learn about Sonic. But, I do love a cherry limeade.~skt
Love this list, it’s hilarious.
Thank you! I appreciate you stopping by~skt
I was going to ask if you thought your neighbors had worked from a design and to see if you could get it for me because that’s just what I need. But everyone seems to find it hideous, so I guess it’s just my style that’s not in keeping with all you hoity-toity folks out there!
How about “two twins” for a redundant phrase?
Hey, if you want I can see about shipping that one to you! What’s this “hoity-toity?
Two twins! Yes, that’s good. Thanks~skt
Some very funny stuff…and things that make you go hmmmmmmmmm;)
I certainly go hmmmm! But, I do that a lot
~skt
Hi, loved number 6, and as for number 10 have a friend who needed to lose weight, and her doctor told her to have her last food for the day by 4.00pm and to be in bed by 8.00pm every night. Didn’t matter if she didn’t go to sleep, but she had to be in bed, doing something like reading etc. She lost a huge amount of weight by doing that!
I’ll tell you a secret…I’ve tried getting extra sleep, and it really does help one lose weight! Of course, I always it bacon and ruin the whole effect.
~skt
Thank you so much for the warm welcome, Shelly! I will definitely join the next T13!
Good Sasha! I look forward to seeing it~skt
Oh Lord make the mail box stop. Just, wow.
Can you imagine how that poor mailman must feel having to see that every day?~skt
When I hear someone say, “changed his life forever” I want to hit them. And I’m a pretty mild guy. If something changed your life at all, it was forever, can’t undo it, ya know?
There was a lady recently arrested for lighting matches on a commercial airplane flight for that very reason, what that your Aunt La Verta?
I never understood the comb-over either, but then I have enough hair for three men, so what do I know.
Truth in advertising, or not, I love me some Sonic food.
Down here in Florida, I often hear some outrageous hoops people in decent neighborhoods have to jump through to keep the home owner’s association off their back and it makes me angry. Neighbors like yours, with the mailbox, are THE REASON people like to live in neighborhoods with home owner’s associations. I see lots of dark purple or bright pink homes and whatnot around here, and I always feel sorry for their neighbors.
I’m so glad Aunt LaVerta never flew on a commercial airline! I’d rather have that ugly mailbox than a home owner’s association any day of the week. The idea might have been “interesting” but the color is atrocious, bless their hearts.~skt
Maybe the people say the stuff you mentioned in #8 are from The Department of Redundancy Department?
That mailbox is awful!
I love the Department of Redundancy Department! You can say that again, and repeat it, too!
Thanks for adding that one.~~skt
OMG! I’m laughing out loud! Thank you for the breath of reality.
Reality? It’s my reality…but my reality is alittle “different.~skt
Hey! I just realized I left the words “close proximity” in your comments section yesterday… why are you picking on me?! I’m a fan!
LOL
I didn’t know you did that! I never would pick on you. I don’t “pick.” I would have told you flat out if I had noticed it
~skt
Sonic looks so good to us at least because we don’t have a Sonic anywhere near us in Philly.
, you get a Philly cheese steak sandwich or something! You would like Victoria, of course. 
~skt
Don’t make Victoria reveal her secret, shes doing just fine in my book.
In Philly, you shouldn’t need a Sonic
#8 I’ve been known to say and write, “in close proximity.” Thanks for the tip!
The mailbox looks like a group effort and the love shows!
~skt
Love? I dunno
One of my pet peeves is “these ones” or if there is obviously more than one “those ones.” I have wondered the same thing about the drive-thru ATM and speaking of drive-thru windows, why is it often faster to just go inside for your order?
I had to read between the lines for number 7!
Why do cats do what cats do? Because they can! At least that’s what my cat tells me when I ask. Great list.
Why is it faster inside? Another good question. You weren’t supposed to notice there was no #7! I can’t count
~skt
What a wonderful list…i have always wondered that too why braille is in the drive thru…And that comb offer someone needs to give them a shake…
Aww, I don’t know that they need a shake, but a shave wouldn’t be bad.
~skt
On the news the other night there was an anchor who had the most obvious rug you could ever imagine. My wife asked me the same question you did in your post. LOL hilarious. So did you read my post? Do you think he did it???
I read it, but I don’t know about eight year old boys anymore.~skt
Those were some good recommendations, but I especially loved Di’s Book Blog etc.
It’s nice to know I’m not alone in some of my gripes - there are days I think my kids are trying to drive me insane.
Di’s Book Blog was a good one for my readers, I think. They all seem to be avid readers of books, too!~skt
Comb overs, Hate them!! We know of a man that has the ULITMATE comb over, I wish I had a picture to post of it because it’s hilarious!! (Mean I know, but the man looks so silly! Oh, and I don’t really care for him so it’s all good, right?!
)
As for the mailbox, very ummm, interesting!
Enjoyed you TT as I always do!! Happy Thursday!!
“Interesting” is about all you can say for it. We don’t want to be “mean,” do we?
~skt
Is that a mailbox or an art class accident?
LOL! This is a college town, so who knows. Maybe it was a project.~skt
Now were these neighbors kids cause then I can see that happening! Craft project! woot!
My husband claims that now is when we need those vandal kids to come and bash the mailbox with a baseball bat. With our luck, the neighbors would lovingly and painstakingly rebuild it
~skt
why does my drive through ATM at the bank have Braille on the keypad?
Good point!
That’s one, uh, interesting mailbox. Sorry you have to look at that!
I don’t have to look. There isn’t much traffic on the street, so I close my eyes
~skt
Probably for the same reason the ATM at my bank has, only in Spanish, what translates to “Press 1 for English, 2 for Spanish,” as an announcement screen. WTF would we do if we couldn’t piece together phrases en Espanol as a result of Taco Bell and “I Love Lucy” re-runs?
It doesn’t seem right, does it? I know just what you mean. I have no problem with things being translated into Spanish also, but English is the official language! I guess it all translates in $$ in the minds of the advertisers.~skt
Hello, Michele sent me.
So they say that men who are bald in the front are thinkers and that men who are bald in the back are lovers. Men you are bold front and back think they are lovers.
Good questions. I think I might be guilty of #8 on occasion, but not always.
You started something by reminding me of Michele! Thanks. I’m also guilty of #8, but I laugh about it anyway. So the rumor was started by bald men, you think?
~skt
I’ve often wondered about #4 myself, but I’ve never been desperate enough to try #9. It doesn’t make sense to me. Oh, and Victoria’s REAL secret is you can’t wear anything in the store past the age of 30 or after you’ve given birth once-whichever comes first.
I hear you about Victoria’s Secret. I thought it was just me! ~skt
Lady, you are a riot.
If I gain any more weight I’ll be a “riot” but at the moment I just want to consider myself a “disruption”
~skt
“Bless her heart”; you HAVE to be a southerner!
Through and through. And, didn’t that negate the smart aleck remark? That’s what we think, anyway.~skt
Great, funny questions! Happy TT!
Thank you, Kuanyin. You have a happy one, too~skt
OMG this was funny! Lolololol…!
Thanks, Eden. I appreciate your visit
~skt
Hi Shelly,
I love the match story - fantastic. Made me lol.
Anyway, I have got to get some sleep know to lose some weight (it does work the other way around. doesn’t it??)
Great list - as always.
Oh, yeah! Try sleeping and let me know if it works for you
It beats exercising, doesn’t it? We may be on to something here.~skt
Thank you! Hope your weekend is good, too. I appreciate your kind words.~skt
Okay, I read this one at the end of the day yesterday and my co-worker made me promise I’d tell you THANKS! This made a dreary day brighter fro the whole office. Yes, I am the official blog reader/writer in the office and your musings often! So I guess I don’t read alone…So from me and my 3 Thank You for a brighter day!
Aww, Ingrid! Y’all are so nice. I’m glad if I made you laugh. Tell ‘em all thanks for me!~skt
Re: #8. “over exaggerate” is one of my pet peeves, and although not a redundancy, “ironical” instead of ironic drives me nuts. Good 13!
Thank you, Thorne. I appreciate the visit. Ironical is a good one to add to the list of peeves!~skt