“What’s in a name? that which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet…”
Does our name affect how we feel about ourselves? Sometimes, parents give their children strange sounding names, and I have to wonder if it changes the course of their lives. I’ve talked before about how Texas Governor Big Jim Hogg named his daughter “Ima.” Surely he thought she would marry, but this wonderful woman, who was a great philanthropist, had to go through her life saddled with that horrible name. So did all those children back in the 1960s, whose hippie parents decided to be creative (think Frank Zappa’s children: Moon Unit, Dweezil, Ahmet Rodan, and Diva.). I wonder if those children ever saw any humor in it?
1. My own first name is pretty innocuous: “Michele.” But, when you have a Texas twang, and try to introduce yourself, it translates to the uninitiated ear as ” I’m a shell.” I was always shy and embarrassed to meet people, because I didn’t want to have to explain what I was saying. When I got grown, I started going by my nickname “Shelly.” Although sometimes people think my name is “Shirley” or “Sherry” I can live with that. Now, I’m very outgoing. I can’t honestly tell you if my change in nature is because of my name change or because I grew up.
2. My husband likes to watch the wedding announcements in the local newspaper looking for funny names. He found several that he sent to David Letterman one time, but they didn’t make a fortune for him. There was the Hertz-Dailey wedding, the Johnson & Johnson marriage, and the Smith & Wesson union.
3. When I moved to Denton, Texas, I had to find a new veterinarian that I could trust. I loved the man who had been taking care of my pets, but there was no way I was going to drive thirty-five miles with a sick pet. I let my fingers do the walking through those Yellow Pages and found Dr. Valarie Barker; however I decided that with five cats she might not be my best choice. Did she choose her profession because of her name? I just wonder if people do that?
4. Sometimes the Yellow Pages can be quite a source of amusement. OK, I live in a small town and we don’t have a lot of excitement. Television doesn’t have much that blows my dress up. I have to look at the names sometimes and wonder, “What were they thinking?”
When I was looking for a new gynecologist, I definitely passed on Dr. Laura Finger. She might be good, but the name just makes me uncomfortable.
5. Gene Gamble Insurance Agency sounded too risky, so I decided not to switch to his insurance.
6. In need of a good divorce lawyer? How would you feel about the local law firm called Loveless & Loveless?
7. Another lawyer named Henry Paine didn’t interest me either. I’m betting his bill would be. A “pain,” that is. Actually that sounds like a good name for a dentist.
8. I went through those pages looking for names I hoped I would find. I wanted to find a local attorney named “Slezak.” You’d be surprised that a ton of people with that last name chose the law as their profession (but none in Denton). I also wanted to find a plumber named “Butts,” so I could make a crack about it (so to speak).
9. I particularly like my optometrist, so I don’t mind driving to see her. She’s one of the best I’ve ever found. Her name is Dr. Janet Ogletree. “Ogle” means : to eye amorously or provocatively; to look at especially with greedy or interested attention. Did she plan that when she married Mr. Ogletree?
10. There is a real estate agent here in town named Dick Craven. My husband’s words were, “I think I would be going by ‘Richard’!” Read it again and think about it.
11. When my husband and I got married, I ordered this decadent cake from a local bakery. Click on the thumbnail to see the layers of chocolate upon chocolate. MMMM! It was from a place called Candy Haven. My son said, “Mom, you’ve gotta be kidding! That sounds like the name for a transvestite stripper!” He had a point, but the cake was delicious anyway.
12. I was in a quandary when I got married, because for twenty years I had worked as a storyteller. People knew me by my last name, and I wanted them to still be able to find me to hire me. My name was Kneupper, which is pronounced with a silent “k.” I often told people who had to introduce me this mnemonic device: “Think of having a new kitten at your house—a “new purr.” That helped, until the librarian stood before the group to introduce me and got flustered. She said, “Kids, I’d like you to meet Mrs. New Cat!”
13. I decided to go by Kneupper Tucker, without a hyphen. It’s a mouthful, I know. If you say it fast, it sounds like I’m a plastic surgeon: “nippertucker.” When I’m not performing, I just go by Tucker, because having to say that much name tuckers me out.
Now it’s your turn. I know you’ve got one you are just dying to share. Leave a comment and you will be magically linked on the page. I hope you will come back and visit another day. OH! And, if you Google your name and it turns up here, don’t get angry! Your name was in the Yellow Pages, after all. Any press is good press.
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{ 31 comments… read them below or add one }
Names fascinate me. I used to sit next to a reporter who collected unusual obit names. Then I sat next to another one who kept a list of baby names from the “Births” section of the paper.
As for names I’ve encountered, the one that really slayed me was that of an attorney in Odessa: Denis Dennis.
One day, I had to call him for a couple of quotes for a story.
The call went like this:
Me: Um. Hi. I’d like to speak to Denis … hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!
(pause)
Me: Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry. It’s just …. hahahahahahahahaahahaha!!!!!!
Um. Is this Denis Dennis?
Denis: Yes. Speaking.
Me: Really, I am so … hahahahaha …. sorry.
Denis: It’s OK. Happens all the time.
Bwahahah! You crack me up. One of these days I’m going to meet you, and I just know you are a ring-tailed tooter!~skt
I’m sorry about the bad pun
BUTT it had to be said~skt
That was just plain funny – I like the union of Smith -Wesson , This made me curious I found a Dr. L Sheppard for a veterinarian and a how about the lawyer firm of Shirkey and Co.? I guess there is cheap entertainment. As a teen I’d go through and read some last names from the phone book and we’d roar with laughter….how about Mr. Cushion or R. Butts…cute TT!
When you sit down with that phone book, there are tons of names that can give you a giggle. Wonder if the people who “own” those names laugh about it, though. I’m betting that they probably no longer have a sense of humor about it. ‘S OK. I’ll still chuckle at their expense. There have been enough chuckles at mine!~skt
Hi Shelley…
You’ve been popping up on various Google alerts of mine for years, and it’s a pleasure to finally meet you.
It’s interesting that you pronounce your name with a silent “K”, as my family has always used a hard “K” (kuh-NYE-per). We’re from a New Braunfels strain of Kneupper, c. 1880-ish (Christian, who eventually owned a dairy in San Antonio).
I’m sure we share similar nightmares of going through life with such a counterintuitive name. In my case, it was hyper, sniper, diaper, along with variations of your version, noo-pepper, knee upper, etc. Also, Microsoft Word sees our name and helpfully suggests, “kneepad”, which I always get teased about during contract negotiations with new clients – lol.
it’s certainly been cathartic to share the experience with my two young boys, now working their way through elementary school. I recently asked them the most popular mispronounciation. Interestingly, it offers clues to your preferred affliction:
“Dad, everybody pronounces it ‘new-purr’.”
Thanks for the great post, Shelley.
best
David
David, your pronunciation of Kneupper is the correct one. My ex-husband’s father (who was from New Braunfels) “Americanized” the name. You are kin to my ex and my kids…was it a younger Christian Kneupper who put together the genealogy? At one time, I had a copy of that, and it was pretty interesting. Glad to meet you, and am hoping later today to drop by your blog to see what Kneupper Music might be! Sorry I take so much space on Google. It’s because I can’t shut up!
Thanks for stopping by.~skt
That is a funny one Shelly. As this the comment above from David K. Happy TT
http://vixensden.wordpress.com/2007/08/02/thursday-13-6/
I promise I will be by later to see you. I’m trying to go around town with flyers for the Share A Square Day today, and stopped for lunch. And, to recover from the word, “No.” Somebody get over here and prop me up! I’m glad I did the “funny” stuff before I went asking people to put up flyers!~skt
VERY interesting link.
My sister-in-law taught a little girl named Chanda. Her last name was Leer.
Happy TT
ROFLMAO! That poor child! Happy TT to you, too. Thanks for the giggle. I needed it.~skt
My real name being Melinda I get all kinds of versions. But my great granmother was named Fanny and married a man whose last name was Bottoms! Fannie Bottoms is in my family bible. Also I worked for a doctor named Dr. Slaughter! Great writing girl – Lara
Oh, that’s too funny! I went through a cemetery once and fell on the ground in undignified laughter when I saw the gravestone of “Fanny Hyman” (may she rest in peace). I have a brother whose first name is “Buster.” First words out of my husband’s mouth were….”I hope Her brother’s name wasn’t Buster!” OOPS! Will that give my blog an NC17 rating?
My first name always gets pronounced differently from how I pronounce it.
My maiden name is like the month of May and in high school, people would ask me what my last name was all the time even after they asked me what my name was… UGH!
It’s frustrating when people don’t get your name right. My Daddy always said, “I don’t care what you call me, just call me.” I’m not very good with names either, so I don’t get to complain. Happy TT.~skt
Ha Ha Ha Dick Craven. Well that one’s got to be tough when trying to prove your masculinity, but hey, my last name is Moore Curry maybe that’s why I love Caribbean foods. Have a great day!
Moore Curry cracked me up! Sorry I’m late in replying to comments, but thanks for visiting~skt
My married name is Harms and you can imagine how many times i hear “Look out for Laura, you wouldn’t want to get in Harms’ way!” yuk yuk yuk.
Also, in my phone book there are 3 listings for J. Christ
I’m sorry, Laura. I didn’t mean any harm….(stop me, I can’t help myself)~skt
THREE? Good Lord
You already know I am funny about names! When my brother and sister-in-law (self-proclaimed foodies) thought it would be “so cute” to name my niece “Piper Kai-Ann” (Cayenne Pepper) I almost went through the roof and actually said “WTF is wrong with you people?”
My oldest daughter has a friend named Satania. It’s pronounced Suh-TAHN-ya, but on paper, it looks like a feminine version of Satan to me. I didn’t ask her out loud but I am thinking “What the hell is wrong with your parents?”
This was a great TT! Love the name game stories!
Jessica
You have to wonder why parents do that. Cayenne Pepper? Geesh. I love name game, too, and found tons more AFTER I had written the post!~skt
LoL…I *luv* these! Ya know, back in the day, I used to work for a PI where we did background screening for several large companies, and we always kept a list around the office of these types to keep us entertained on slow days!
We had, similiar to your Mr. Craven, a Richard Hertz and, one of the ones that *still* makes me chuckle – Akhil Maboob
Poor Akhil! What boob named him that? Those are great. The comments are funnier than the post was
~skt
I don’t get Jay Leno here anymore, but I used to love that wedding announcement thing he did. Here in Israel no one, and I mean no one, can manage the American pronunciation of Robin. It was really awful before the movie Robin Hood came out – they’d say Reuben, Roe-bean or worse, Rabin. Now at least I can say “Robin, like Robin Hood”. They still pronounce it Roe-bean, but I’ll take that over Reuben any day.
It could have been worse I guess. They could have named me Chanda Leer
!
:LOL: Just reading through all these comments leads me to think there are even worse names than Chanda Leer! I don’t think you ever get accustomed to people pronouncing your name wrong. At least”Robin” doesn’t have any other connotations…or does it?~skt
I have a cousin who is, for lack of a better word, an idiot. He had a baby girl recently and do you know what he named her? Go on.. guess. Her name is Diamond Crystal Jade. Yep…that’s her first and middle names. What kind of future do you picture for this poor little girl as she grows up? I hope she can steer clear of a career in exotic dancing and others like it… but I just don’t see high powered lawyer coming from that name. I hope I’m wrong though.
That poor child. But, maybe some Sugar Daddy will load her up with jewelry? She can go by her initials if she becomes a lawyer. D.C.? D.C.J.? D.J.? C.J? Never mind. She’d better dance.
~skt
There was a girl in town named Anita Boner – I felt so bad for her. Especially when called to the principals office in high school – like teenage boys won’t burst out laughing!
My maiden name was Hassell – I was tortured ~ don’t know how much of it was because of my name though
Incidentally, I am now a Sawyer. My husband’s uncle (Sawyer as well) named two sons Tom and a daughter Becky
What a fun TT!
Poor Anita!
I hope she wasn’t one of the unfortunate girls who weren’t considered “pretty.” That would make that name especially horrible. Hassell would get plenty of jokes, I imagine. Thanks for sharing yours! 
~skt
This is hysterical!
I like doing the same thing!
But I must admit southern family names are the best and they can be androgynous!
I knew a Motley Bliss (last name withheld for obvious reasons) and thought that was really odd. I often wondered if he had a good marriage!
But I also came from a Jewish neighborhood where the first names didn’t quite match the last: Montesque Schwartz, Yvonne Victoria Fincklestein,
Catherine Elizabeth Feigenblatt, Orlando Howard Oifer.
When I married, I kept my maiden name, you don’t want to know…!
~skt
Hilarious! But, yes I DO want to know…now you have me curious
I forgot to mention the name of my young cousin: While his father was away on assignment, he was born and his mother had a number of venerable southern family names to choose from. She was from Iowa and wanted to honor her new son’s southern and her own heritage. The most southern name she could think of was Rhett (as in Butler!). So my new-born cousin was named Rhett Walker Bailey. When his father returned, he was a bit upset, “That’s not a name, it’s a whiskey!” So I’ve called him ‘Whiskey’ ever since!
That’s a great nickname, though! Especially for someone with those Southern roots!~skt
When Lovely Wife and I lived in the Dallas area, she worked at Bright Mortgage with a lady whose last name was Orr. When she had a little girl, she and her husband named the poor kid Kristen Dee. Kristen Dee Orr. She claimed to have never heard of the designer Christian Dior.
Down here in Melbourne, Florida, there is an orthopaedic surgeon named Dr. Paine.
Wonderful list!
Thanks, JAM. Dr. Paine! Someone else listed a Dr. Ow. Too funny. Thanks for stopping by.~skt
Great fun – except for those with the names — Richard Craven by his other name is the one I feel the most for.
Yes, Poor Richard!
~skt
I thought I was the only one that played that game! I can have a lot of fun with a phonebook, but the wordjokes are in Dutch.
My TT teaches a geography lesson about my country.
I loved your geography lesson! I imagine that word jokes in English are hard to catch sometimes? Maybe not. I appreciate your visit.~skt
Last weekend I was shredding the last of my Grandma’s documents, to find a business card for her Accountant: Mr. Cheatam.
Good post, I often wonder the same thing…
That one is priceless!
Thanks for adding it to the bunch. The comments are really funnier than the post!~skt
I love names like this! Try this one on for size…Dick Hertz. Ouch.
Poor Richard. His name is sooo taken in vain, isn’t it?
Thanks for visiting~skt
My daughter is named Amanda Lynn, we call her Manda or Mandy, but when you say Amanda Lynn, you hear Mandolin! She asks why we named her for a musical instrument, I tell her because she is music to our ears! My Great Grandmother was named Mandy, so it was actually one of the reason we picked Amanda and hubby’s middle name is Lynn. I loved the way it sounded together. Even if you think of music when you hollar for her! LOL
I love Mandolin! SHE probably doesn’t
but I think it’s sweet.~skt
Well, had you heard of the Trout twins?
Rainbow & Brooke?
Great fun post – Thank you!
This is so funny and so true! I worked with a physician and his name was Dr. Ow. I am totally serious! I couldn’t believe it!
Great TT as usual!
Lara
Thanks for the kind words, Lara. Dr. Ow?
That’s too funny. Can’t imagine what nationality he was.~skt
That’s funny!
Yeah names crack me up.
I had Dr. Carver the surgeon.
I feel sorry for those Hollywood babies (and the inspired from that).
Julie
Ravin’ Picture Maven
Dr. Carver! Whoot! That’s another good one, thanks for adding it~skt
My daughters name is Michelle and we call her Shelley….you really make me laugh Great tt
Thank you for coming by to visit, Robyn! I quit calling myself Michele when everybody wanted to croon a Beatles tune to me
~skt
Leave it to Texas to come up with some great names! My favorite dentist in Arlington is Dr. Hollar!! She’s fantastic but I almost did not go to her because of her name!! And it’s her maiden name but she chose to keep it despite her profession!!
Did she keep it despite her profession or because of it?
I’m betting that a lot of people go to her for the novelty of it. Great addition to the list. Thank you!~skt
I have to wonder now if the famous Hollywood costume designer Edith Head had any male relatives named Richard…
Sweet Spousal Unit…you are going to give my blog an NC17 rating!~skt
I won’t go into detail how we met,[your welcome] but I know here in Houston we have a proctologist named….Dr. Donald Butts. Yep it’s true.
Butts is a much better name for a proctologist than a plumber!
That’s a good one, and thanks for not sharing how you met!~skt
I have to add my 2 cents (or 5 or 6 cents) to this one:
There’s a gynecologist in my area by the name of Dr. Fillerup. I also know a family with girls named Spring, Summer and Autumn. The dog was named Winter. And lastly, my dad always tells the story of the family with 8 girls, all with the last name of Hoar.
Too funny.
Oh, that poor Hoar family!
That’s a great one, thanks for sharing it~skt