UPDATE:
The contest is closed to new entries!
Y’all, I was giving thought to resurrecting the [tag]This Blog Blows My Dress Up Contest[/tag] until today. Today, I was talking to a non-blogging friend who avidly reads my blog. I mentioned a writing contest, and she said, “How do you enter those contests?”
It hit me smack dab in the face that I don’t make it easy for non-bloggers to participate. So, I’m changing the contest to one in which you can participate whether you blog or not.
I’m calling it the “[tag]Dear Abby Writing Contest[/tag],” because I was thinking of a John Prine song that was a parody of the Dear Abby columns. Here is my favorite stanza from it:
Dear Abby,
Well I never thought
That me and my girlfriend would ever get caught
We were sitting in the back seat just shooting the breeze
With her hair up in curlers and her pants to her knees
Signed Just Married
YOU can write a “Dear Abby” letter, can’t you? I bet you can. And, if you do, you can win this:
It’s one of those delicate little bags I told you about on my Scattered Thursday Thirteen. It’s much smaller than it appears…it’s just two inches long, and it’s a necklace, not a purse! There are 2,000 seed beads on it. Why, Sparky Duck thought they were pretty, so maybe he will even enter.
Here’s all you have to do to enter
the Dear Abby [tag]Writing Contest[/tag]:
And, let me sweeten the pot! Send people to vote (you don’t even have to enter the writing contest to do that!)when I post the voting page on Sunday September 16th. You can link on your blog, or just tell your friends about it if you don’t blog. Have them comment and say, “_______ sent me.” Fill in that blank with your name! The person who sends the most voters to the Sunday September 16th post will win this sun catcher [note: since each person is only allowed to vote one time a day, only one comment a day per commenter will be counted toward your total].
See the first entries, with Abby’s answers here
Related posts:
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{ 24 comments… read them below or add one }
What a great idea!! LOVE IT!
It’s not as good as your limericks
~skt
Just stopping by to grab the Friday Link Love button for my post that’s a day late! lol!! I think this contest is soooo neat…I’ll have to think about what to write…I will certainly post about it later tonight or early tomorrow. Neat!
You are so good with the link love! I’m pond scum for rarely doing that anymore. Hope you do get a chance to enter~skt
Shelly, My computer counted twice, 50 words in body!
Dear Abby,
Leon demanded I do housework instead of sitting on my rear at the computer all day, but I want to win Bestest Blogger! There’s no class, so I practice. He only works 50 hours a week, he can clean! Everyone says he’s a saint, but he’s taking my computer away.
signed,
married to the devil disguised as Saint Leon.
Dear Married to the devil
disguised as Saint Leon,
Everyone has their cross to bear. I suggest one of two options:
Good luck.
Signed
Dear Abby
Oh WOW! How fun is this!!!! OH, I can’t wait to get started—this is going to be a great contest Shelly…I can feel it already!!
Jessica
I hope so, it sounded like fun to me, but what do I know? don’t answer~skt
Too many words. Rewrite. Here is how it appears today on my blog.
Dear Abby,
I am a widower with three children by three previous marriages. The woman I am courting mentions her cousin every time I propose. Katherine has a very delicate neck that she rubs whenever I ask for her hand. What will ease her pain so that she will consider my offer and say yes?
King Henry VIII
Dear Hank,
You might have bitten off more than you can chew with this relationship. According to ancient Gypsy lore, “the consistent rubbing of the neck is a sign of unfaithfulness.” Beware. You might just have to give this relationship the axe.
Signed,
Dear Abby
Great response!!! Might have to bring in Katherine Parr to relieve his anguish.
snicker
Shelly, Leon agrees Dear Abby’s second response would work, as he would then NEED his glasses to observe.
Cant’ he “read braille?”~skt
Hey Shelly,
I’m working on this one — great idea!! I’ll make sure I have it in by next Sat.
I’ll be watching for it!
Hey there Shelly
My entry is here
Great idea and thanks for running it.
I repaired it for you~skt
Okay – obviously is waay to early for my brain – the link is not really called that!!!
I need more tea.
I posted on my blog also, man, I could write a ton of these, love the idea.
Dear Abby,
My family won’t let me come and visit them. They seem to think that when I visit, there’s another funeral to attend. It’s boring in Cabot Cove because I suspect people pretend not to be home when I ring their doorbells. Can you suggest where I can find friends?
Lonely in Cabot Cove,
Jessica Fletcher
Dear Lonely,
That’s such a sad situation. It must be murder to have to endure it! I’m afraid You might just have to be content with imaginary friends. It’s a novel situation and one I’ve never encountered. I must admit it’s a mystery to me. Let me consult my colleague, Dr. Kevorkian.
Signed,
Dear Abby
This will be fun – I have to put my thinking cap on and write one tomorrow!
go girl!~skt
What a fun contest! Now, to think of something to enter, haha. Can we enter just one letter or multiple….
If you think of more than one, save it for the next contest!
~skt
i have posted my entry for the “dear abby” letter contest on my blog. you can find it here….
my “dear abby” entry
good one!~skt
Dear Abby,
How can I tell my neighbors nicely to knock before they come in. I have had problems during the past 6 years with Mr. Bird, Mrs. Possum, and Mr. Snake and they have overstepped their boundaries.
Dear
,
Some folks have no manners. They are just animals. If telling them politely to change their ways does not help, you might have to be more forceful. By all means, take up the welcome mat and stop having an open door policy. Otherwise, when Mr. Possum comes to call, you’ll just have to grin and bear it.
Signed,
Dear Abby
This is the weirdest contest I’ve seen in the blog world… so of course I had to enter
Dear Abby
My boyfriend says I have more hair on my chest than he does on his… to get rid of it should I pluck, shave or use “Neat?”
Signed,
Hope (it doesn’t hurt)
Dear (no) Hope,
It’s a pity you don’t live in Europe, the hair would not be considered a problem. Any of the ways you have mentioned are just temporary (and products like “Neat” and “Nair” shouldn’t be used in “tender” areas). Electrolysis is the only way to go; it’s how I tame my mustache. It will hurt like the dickens. In the future, avoid eating spicy foods or drinking strong coffee. To quote Shelly’s Daddy, “That’ll put hair on your chest.”
Signed,
Dear Abby
Ok…I have one!
Dear Abby,
A greeting card company used my face and trademarked phrase on a card implying I was a waitress. My lawyer wants to sue because they stole my identity, but I’ve never been a waitress so I’m not sure that’s supposed to be me. What should I do?
The Heir Head
Dear Heir,
Apparently some people can’t get enough of being in a courtroom. Frivolous lawsuits are all the rage; that’s hot, so to speak. I know what you mean about people using your likeness, someone is using mine for a ridiculous writing contest. But, face it, any publicity is good publicity. Though you have never been a waitress, here is a little tip, “Go with the flow.” Speaking of Flo, you can borrow a line from that famous waitress and tell them, “Kiss my grits.” But first make sure the phrase isn’t trademarked.
Signed,
Dear Abby
Here’s my entry:
Dear Abby,
I have a problem with Shelia who keeps her behind in that uncomfortable chair for hours, posting unreadable fiction on her blog and reading blogs into the AM. We haven’t seen daylight in months and standing in front of the window doesn’t count. Abby, what should I do?
Stuck together.
—–
~skt
Hi lissa! Thanks for entering. Abby will answer as soon as she figures out who “stuck together” might be
I also posted on my blog at:
this link
I can’t think of anything.
I did blog the contest though.
Thursday Edition of Contests Galore
Sometimes, the Muse won’t let you write, sigh. I do appreciate you thinking about it and talking about it
~skt
Dear Abby,
My hubby adores garlicky food and consumes it with wild abandon. He’ll devour roasted garlic then pop a stick of gum and think, “problem solved”. When I comment on the noxious smell, his response is to stop mouth-breathing. How do I educate him on the horrors of NOSE BREATH?
Signed,
Cranky from wearing this gasmask
Dear Abby,
A co-worker of mine walked into the pub I was at last night & handed me a homemade muffin. When offered a drink she declined saying, just wanted to give you this muffin. This is the 3rd time she’s just “randomly” shown up at a place I’ve been at . . . should I be worried she’s stalking me?!??!
Scared of Muffin Lady
Dear Abby,
I think I’m going crazy. First I’m big, then I’m small, I feel like a yo-yo. Could it be my diet? All I had today was a little drink and a couple of bites of a mushroom. I think I might be hallucinating, too. Should I call 911?
signed,
scared-of-that-red-queen
Dear Abby:
Someone has been stealing my Prada-wear and replacing it with $9.99 Chic twill pants. Although I am enjoying the elastic waistbands, I I am concerned that some other hot babe will show up at the high-school football game in my missing clothes. What should I do? And do you think my butt looks big in pull-on pants?
Dear Abby,
My neighbor’s cousin’s daughter’s friend just had her third child. My neighbor thinks the child is not the husband’s. Should she confront this girl? The family is bellyaching to my neighbor because she was supposed to throw a baby shower for this girl and she refused to do it because of this situation. I tell ya that baby looks like the UPS guy!
Signed,
What now
Dear What Now,
When they are born, all babies look like the UPS guy! I look like my schnauzer, so what? Was the UPS guy present at the delivery? A baby is a baby and deserves a shower. Like I always say, “MYOB.” Or, was that my sister that said that?
Signed,
Dear Abby