Dire Consequences

Do y’all remember back in the old days, when you sauntered out to the post box, expecting to see bills, and got the unexpected surprise of a letter from a friend? You were delighted until…




YOU OPENED IT TO DISCOVER THAT IT WAS A CHAIN LETTER!

You know what I’m talking about. It told you to copy that letter and send it to forty-eleven people in the next 24 hours. “DO NOT BREAK THE CHAIN or you could expect DIRE CONSEQUENCES!” What kind of “friend” would send you a letter like that?

The first time I got one, I must have been eleven or twelve years old. I couldn’t imagine what the DIRE CONSEQUENCES might be. Would fairies steal my first-born child and leave me with a changeling? Would all my finances come to ruin and I end up living in the poor house? Would I be doomed to wearing Spandex?

Dutifully, I hand copied that letter and sent it to forty-eleven people before 24 hours could pass. I even risked a spanking because I stole stamps from my Momma’s desk. I figured that a spanking was nothing considering the alternative. The devil you know is better than the one you don’t know. I didn’t want me any of those DIRE CONSEQUENCES.

In fact, so frightened was I of those threats, that I think I sent them on the next two or three times I got a chain letter. Then, I forgot to send one. I put it in the back of my underwear drawer (where I hid anything of consequence, because my siblings had no desire to look in there) and didn’t see it again for months. Nothing particularly bad had happened!

I began to get a thought: probably this was an insidious plot by the Postmaster General to keep the post office in business! Yes, probably he sat around thinking up these awful letters and starting the chain! That had to be it.

After that, whenever a chain letter came to me, I just laughed and tossed it in the trash can. THEN, came the era of the World Wide Web. People could send chain letters in an e-mail and didn’t even have to spend the energy to write it down or pay money for a stamp. Obviously, the Postmaster General wasn’t involved in this plot.

Chain letters clutter up my inbox constantly, and I delete them faster than you can say, “SPAM.” I hate to be rude to people I hardly know, so I usually just don’t reply and hope they quit sending them. I’ve told my good friends not to pass them on, and they usually comply. But, occasionally they forget and I get that spam.

My sister just sent me a chain letter e-mail. My own flesh and blood sister, who knows I hate chain letters with a purple passion! What in the world was she thinking? Well, she wasn’t thinking, that’s for sure. I had already gotten the one she sent once before, and trashed it then. Now, here it was again cluttering my mailbox!

This is what she sent me, and it’s called “Good Karma.”

This is what The Dalai Lama has to say for 2007. All it takes is a few seconds to read and think over. Do not keep this message. The mantra must leave your hands within 96 hours. You will get a very pleasant surprise. This is true for all – even if you are not superstitious… or of whatever religious belief… Faith…

I N S T R U C T I O N S F O R L I F E

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

2. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.

3. Follow the three R’s:

+ Respect for self,
+ Respect for others and
+ Responsibility for all your actions.

4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.

5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.

6. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great relationship.

7. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

8. Spend some time alone every day.

9. Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.

10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.

12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.

13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.

14. Share your knowledge. It is a way to achieve immortality.

15. Be gentle with the earth.

16. Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.

17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.

18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

FORWARD THIS MANTRA E-MAIL TO AT LEAST 5 PEOPLE AND YOUR LIFE WILL IMPROVE

0-4 people: Your life will improve slightly.

5-9 people: Your life will improve to your liking.

9-14 people: You will have at least 5 wonderful surprises in the next 3 weeks.

15 people & over: Your life will improve drastically and everything you ever dreamed of will begin to take shape.

Do not keep this message. The mantra must leave your hands within 96 hours.

You will get a very pleasant surprise…

I’ve been thinking…
    The message in the chain letter is a good one.

          And, my life has been going to the dogs lately.

Y’all know what? I think I just might have passed this on to a couple more than 15 people! I didn’t break the chain! I can’t wait for my life to improve drastically and everything I ever dreamed of to begin to take shape.

If you just read it, you can consider it “received.” You don’t have to pass it on, because it doesn’t threaten

Other posts you might enjoy:

1. Thursday Thirteen #47. Signs of a True “Roadhouse”
2. Honey, About Those Greeting Cards
3. What’s A Baseball Player Got To Do With It? Part I
4. Jumped The Gun Again. Will I Never Learn?
5. Words From The Wise—Mensa Definitions

Tagged as: advice, chain letters, dalai lama, etiquette, humor, Silly Is My Middle Name