Lest You Think Business Travel Is Exciting

I told you before that business travel isn’t exciting. I meant what I said.

Y’all, I had stayed for one night at this “inn” a few days ago. I’m back for most of this week, but I’m not here by choice. It’s what my patron arranges for me. I don’t have to pay for it, and I just accept what I get, because I figure that the hotel has given them a price break. I don’t want to make trouble for my patrons.

I’ve stayed here in previous years when I have visited in Beaumont, and I knew not to expect much. The place is in dire need of some maintenance and updating. It’s looking pretty ragged. I won’t name the “inn”, but I’ll tell you that it is not as “comfort”able as its name implies. While I don’t expect much, I do consider that I deserve a modicum of cleanliness.

On my last visit, I walked in with my bags and checked into my room. After putting the first load in my room, I went back for the second load of luggage. Then, for the third. Finally, with everything in my room, I stopped long enough to go to the restroom.


OH! THE HORROR!

There is no polite way to tell you this. Someone had experienced an explosive bowel movement in the toilet, and housekeeping had not cleaned that mess up! I recoiled in shock and then started looking around the room. I noticed that the bed looked somewhat rumpled.

Well, I tell you what!

I marched right back to the front desk and demanded a different room. The next one appeared cleaner, but I didn’t trust that it really was clean. I slept on a sliver of the bed, wore house shoes instead of going barefoot, and checked out as quickly as I could the next morning.

It was with a little bit of trepidation that I returned for my three night stay this week. I determined that I wasn’t moving anything into the room until I had inspected it. At the front desk was the same young woman who had dealt with me less than ten days ago. She definitely remembered me. I relaxed knowing that she would make darn sure I had a clean room this time.

A cursory glance over the room revealed that it didn’t seem horrible. The pillowcases were wrinkled, but it looked like someone had just left them in the dryer too long. I brought in my baggage, and then stepped next door to Carraba’s for a nice meal. I got busy trying to get an internet connection (very iffy). Then, I started putting my clothing away.

ICK!

There was filth in the bottom of the drawers. Evidently, housekeeping never cleans out the drawers.

ICK!

I took a second look at the bathroom! The floor had little spots of dried urine sprinkled here and there. There was mold under the silicone caulk in the bathtub. There were pubic hairs on the floor!

ICK!

I looked at the bedspreads! OMG! There were “stains” on the bedspreads on both beds. I don’t have to tell you what it looked like someone had been doing on top of that bed, because you have seen the same television shows I have. I couldn’t tell if the stains were set in to the fabric or fresh.

Back to the front desk I marched. I was quiet about it, because there were people in the lobby, but I said, “Honey, there is a problem with housekeeping.”

We came back to my room and I showed her the filth. We found a room that was clean and she helped me move. She asked if I was going to be around this morning so that I, personally, could tell the housekeepers and staff what a guest expects of the hotel. She thought it would have more impact coming from a disgruntled customer.

Unfortunately, I have to go to work early, so I’ll miss out on that pleasure. I’d really love to rant at the people who “clean” this hotel. I mean, I know it’s not a high paying job. That doesn’t matter. No matter what job you do, you should take pride in your work.

Those folks ought to be ashamed of themselves. Maybe it should be required that they stay in one of these rooms for a night or two. Yeah, that’s it. Have them stay in a room that one of their fellow employees cleaned. They can grade each other. I bet they wouldn’t stand for it if they found a mess in the toilet, or a “stain” on the bedspread, or a pubic hair on the floor!

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A “Wicked Good” Eggnog Recipe

‘Tis the season, y’all.

eggnog ingredients

This gal’s gotta have her eggnog. Yes, I do love my eggnog, and I have found that I have something in common with George W.

Noooo, NOT “The Dubya!” the only things I have in common with him is Texas and the fact that we are both primates [but he is more of a monkey than I am].

I digressed. It’s hormonal. Sorry.

I’m talking about President George Washington! He, too, loved a strong eggnog. His was mixed with whiskey, rum, and sherry. Reportedly, that special blend of eggnog made grown men quiver and run away in fear lest they be embarrassed by not being able to handle their liquor. Naw, I made that last part up, but it was a strong drink, so they say (whoever “they” are).

Now me, I like mine with whiskey, rum, and brandy. The eggnog recipe calls for one quart of eggnog with 6 oz. of whiskey, 3 oz. of rum, and 3 oz. of brandy. My sister jokes that I mix up liquor and splash a little eggnog into it. Yes, it’s strong and it will knock you on your rear! It’s powerful stuff! That’s why you are supposed to drink it in dainty little glasses. It slows you down at least.

For maximum potency, let the eggnog steep in the refrigerator overnight. But, don’t tell your spouse it is in there, because if your spouse is like mine you will notice that the level drops in the pitcher overnight. Hmmm? Does it evaporate?

Trust me, this recipe is a winner. I mixed up some of this for the New Year’s Eve Celebration at a neighbor’s house last holiday season, and everyone enjoyed sipping it. They thought it was “wicked good.” If you are going to take it to a party, though, make sure it’s one within walking distance. All we had to do was follow the curb home.

If you don’t drink alcohol, you can have your eggnog without any liquor. It’s all good. I’ve been known to drink it that way if I have no choice. Especially, if it’s the Southern Comfort brand of eggnog (this is not a pay per post…I’m just sayin’). There is no liquor in it, but it is rich and creamy. Just sprinkle a little cinnamon and nutmeg on top, and it’s quite tasty.

I sure do enjoy having a sip or two (or three—heck, a gallon) of eggnog during the holidays. I don’t know why it’s just considered a holiday drink. You can’t get it in the stores at other times of the year. What a shame! I’m too darned lazy to make it from scratch. Some of the old recipes called for milking the cow directly into the liquor, according to my handy dandy Old Mr. Boston De Luxe Official Bartender’s Guide. I’m not making that up! It’s really a book, see:

dsc02688.JPG

So, tell me. Do you drink eggnog? I’m betting you have a favorite recipe if you do. Tell me about it, or write a post and I’ll link to it. And, if you try this recipe, let me know what you think. Just remember to please drink responsibly, y’all! Use your noggin’ when you drink.

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Faux The Love Of Bacon

My sister sooo lied to me.

I knew she was capable of doing so from past experience (we go back a long way). However, I had hoped that in her age she would stop prevaricating. It was a vain hope. You would think that after fifty-some-odd years I would have the good sense not to believe her. You would be wrong.

She said, “I tried some turkey bacon and it was delicious!

Blasphemy!

“No really, it tastes just like bacon!”

In a pig’s eye!

“Try it you’ll see!”

Hogwash!

faux bacon

I tried it. For $1.29, it was a cheap way to prove once again that my sister speaks with a forked tongue.

First, let me assure you that it does not smell like bacon. Heck, the aroma of bacon is half the allure. I fry bacon just so the house will smell good. It sends me into ecstasy.

Second, there is no grease, so it burns easily. Once it’s fried, I admit it can fool you. If you have never seen real bacon! Maybe this turkey bacon stuff would be better if you fried it in bacon grease? Heck, cardboard would taste good if you fried it in bacon grease!

turkey bacon

Because I am such a rabid bacon fanatic, I felt it would be better if I had a more impartial judge.

Besides that, this didn’t look like anything I wanted to try.

So I called out, “Honey, I have some breakfast ready!” Poor unsuspecting “honey.”

whats this?

What’s this?” he asked.
“Ummm, it’s bacon,” I lied.

Did you fry the package

Ddjfrmpkj?” he mumbled. He later translated that to, “Did you fry the package?

Lets go eat at McDonalds

Let’s go eat at McDonald’s,” he said.

I rest my case. Yes, I proved once again that my sister is a bald-faced liar (though she, like me, is no longer so bald of face…we both have whiskers periodically sprouting on our chins).

But, oh what a cost. Now, my husband will never believe me again. And, I had to eat at McDonald’s.

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