My sister sooo lied to me.
I knew she was capable of doing so from past experience (we go back a long way). However, I had hoped that in her age she would stop prevaricating. It was a vain hope. You would think that after fifty-some-odd years I would have the good sense not to believe her. You would be wrong.
She said, “I tried some turkey bacon and it was delicious!”
“No really, it tastes just like bacon!”
In a pig’s eye!
“Try it you’ll see!”
I tried it. For $1.29, it was a cheap way to prove once again that my sister speaks with a forked tongue.
First, let me assure you that it does not smell like bacon. Heck, the aroma of bacon is half the allure. I fry bacon just so the house will smell good. It sends me into ecstasy.
Second, there is no grease, so it burns easily. Once it’s fried, I admit it can fool you. If you have never seen real bacon! Maybe this turkey bacon stuff would be better if you fried it in bacon grease? Heck, cardboard would taste good if you fried it in bacon grease!
Because I am such a rabid bacon fanatic, I felt it would be better if I had a more impartial judge.
Besides that, this didn’t look like anything I wanted to try.
So I called out, “Honey, I have some breakfast ready!” Poor unsuspecting “honey.”
“What’s this?” he asked.
“Ummm, it’s bacon,” I lied.
“Ddjfrmpkj?” he mumbled. He later translated that to, “Did you fry the package?”
“Let’s go eat at McDonald’s,” he said.
I rest my case. Yes, I proved once again that my sister is a bald-faced liar (though she, like me, is no longer so bald of face…we both have whiskers periodically sprouting on our chins).
But, oh what a cost. Now, my husband will never believe me again. And, I had to eat at McDonald’s.