It started innocently enough; it was just a motivational tool. I don’t like to exercise, so I bargained with myself.

“Self,” I said (That’s what I call myself. I call myself, “Self.”), “just step on that Nordic Track and walk for 2,000 steps. No more, no less. That should be about a mile, and when you are done you can sit down and read for thirty minutes.”

I began to follow that routine. I took 2,000 steps. If I realized that a mile was actually 2,011 steps, well that’s too bad. My bargain was 2,000 steps no more no less.

That system of reward worked well, so I decided to try it out in the yard. “Self, just pull 1,000 weeds, no more and no less, and you can go play a game of solitaire.”

I tried it in the house, “If you will just pick up 100 things, Self. No more and no less, then you can sit down and eat 10 M & Ms while you watch Days of Our Lives.”

From there, it snowballed. I have arbitrary quotas for everything (from answering e-mails to stitching an afghan) and, yes, I sit there and count while I’m doing it. Woe be unto you if you interrupt me while I’m counting, because if I forget the number I have to start all over from number one. I won’t be happy.

I was pondering this habit of mine this morning, as I stitched 300 stitches on an afghan for Share A Square. I realized that the counting “centers” me, much as repeating the mantra, “Ohm” might center someone who is meditating. The counting helps me get things accomplished, because it seems to make tasks less “painful” if I know there is an end in sight. I was also thunderstruck by the fact that the counting is a symptom of OCD. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.

I wonder if that is why watching Monk makes me feel uncomfortable? Maybe I realize that all his behavior (the rituals, the handwashing, the re-arranging things, and the repeated touching) could be easy for me to begin!

Oh, that’s too scary to contemplate.

I intended to do just a silly post poking fun at OCD. But, I “googled” the disorder and quickly realized it is no laughing matter! I read an article called, “Confessions of an Obsessive,” and my heart went out to this poor woman. I had never realized how debilitating OCD can be.

I don’t really have OCD; I just display one of the symptoms. I don’t suffer from anxiety usually. There is no chance that I’m going to be compulsive about cleaning. The only time I’m obsessive about germs is after being hugged by snotty nosed little kids at the schools. I don’t want whatever bug is going around, so after they paw me, I shout, “Wipe!” I don’t think that’s unreasonable.

I’m not going to stop “counting,” because it’s really the only way I get things done. I’m about to set about my ritual of 300 stitches on an afghan, answering 13 e-mails, picking up 100 things and walking 2,000 steps.

I had to get this post done before I could begin. I bargained with myself, you see. I said that I had to write 550 words, no more no less, before I …

“If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now, quiet, they’re about to announce the lottery numbers! “~Homer Simpson

Y’all, I have a “to do list” that is as long as my arm. Actually, I have more than one. I try hard to get things done. I work for the things I want, but I’m so easily distracted. I sometimes wonder if I really do have A.D.D., because I can never…oh, look! A blue car!

As I was saying, I have trouble staying focused; especially so when all is working well with my computer. For a few days there (when my blog disappeared) I was so totally productive that it was almost scary. I just walked away from the computer for a few days. Now, I’m finding all kinds of distractions again. Some don’t involve the computer, but I’m ashamed to admit most do. Here are thirteen of those for the Thursday Thirteen meme.

1. In looking at my blog statistics today, I noticed that someone came to my blog looking for “nude images of hasselhoff or selleck.” That’s what the search string said. I’m afraid when they got here that they were disappointed. However, the thought of a nekkid Tom Selleck kept me occupied for a few minutes. Ahem. Being curious, I followed the link to the page on AOL where they had entered that search. I clicked on “images,” but I didn’t find any nude pictures. Firefox told me that the word “nude” had been removed because I have “safe search” on. Drat. I don’t know how to take that function off of there, so I was disappointed, too. Don’t tell my husband.

2. My blog was looking very cluttered, so I spent hours removing things from the sidebars. I still have blogrolls, just click on this picture to go to the page.

I just didn’t want my blog to be as junky as my desk. I put a lot of spaces, so that the info stretches down the sidebar. I hope that makes it easier on the eyes.

3. Of course, as soon as I took everything off of the sidebar, I started adding new stuff. I put my “pitcher” on there…see? No, scroll back up to the top. There! I combed my hair just for you, so I hope you are happy. Now you don’t have to talk to the hand.

4. And, I put under it a link to me telling a story. If you have RealPlayer, you can hear it (that link is for a Mac, but you can get it for a pc, too). The story is one that is often requested by folks at festivals who know me. They think it’s funny. I can laugh about it now, but at the time it happened it was tragic. I recorded it for use at The University of North Texas for a storytelling class.

5. I also put a silly quote on the page, and a couple of links to things I like. The plan is that I will frequently update these and change them out so you won’t get bored. We’ll see how that one works, won’t we. I scattered them around on the page so that it could be like an Easter egg hunt for you.

6. You might even find that I’ve got a sidebar link to one of your posts! That’s another thing I’m wanting to do. Just add some posts I like on the sidebar so that my friends can meet each other. I’d rather have your picture on there. Maybe I need y’all to send me a picture that represents you or your blog, so I can rotate those around and give you each an opportunity to shine. There you go, I’m getting distracted just sitting here.

7. In those links, if you will just go and look, you’ll find a story about Share A Square that I thought was pretty cool. Muriel of Crafter by Night, who lives in Austin, TX is putting together one of the afghans. She tells a story that is one of those “it’s a small world” stories, called “Kismet Perhaps.”

8. For any of my Share A Square friends who drop by, you might want to visit Muriel’s “Crafting For Charity” page. She will give you something to keep yourself busy, for sure.

9. I also spent time following another search string to Who Links To Me, which claims to be the ultimate SEO tool. If you are a “stat obsessed” blogger, and haven’t found the site before, you might want to check it out.

10. A better site is “Website Grader.” Seriously! Marcia, at Tumbled Words told me about this many months ago. The first time I entered my web address, I got a grade of 85, “in terms of its marketing effectiveness. The algorithm uses a proprietary blend of over a dozen different variables, including search engine data, website structure, approximate traffic, site performance, and others.” It showed me a few simple changes (it took me less than an hour), and my score was raised to 97. My page rank went from 1 to 5. Not only that, once I did the changes my traffic started to increase! I was lucky to get 350 unique visitors a day back then. Now, I average about 650-750 depending on the day. Might be worth a shot for you.

11. I got lost in StumbleUpon. Don’t follow that link unless you want to waste hours.

12. While I was on StumbleUpon, I came across the Pandora Music Genome Project. It lets you create your own radio station with the music you like! I’m listening to my Blues Mix right now. I created it today while I was stitching together an afghan for Share A Square. Pandora Radio is totally wonderful and FREE! Let’s see if this will take you to my radio station. You can create your own just by putting in the name of a musician or band you like, then giving the thumbs up or thumbs down to the music it plays. Cool!

13. Finally, I learned how to download games on this Mac! Oh, people, that’s bad news! It didn’t come with games on it already, like a pc does, and I was weaning myself. Now, I’ve learned I can download a game, play it on demo until they ask me to pay for it, and then delete it!

Will one of you please save me from myself?

I know better than to walk…it could be healthy or something. Lord knows I don’t want to do anything healthy! But we did take a stroll last month. We went to the McKinney Art Walk, in downtown McKinney, Texas.

It was a beautiful evening, with the moon hanging in the sky like a silver earring. The town is not a booming metropolis, and there weren’t tons of shops open, as we had expected. I’m told that the monthly event is just getting started, so that might have been why more places didn’t choose to stay open late. We were a little disappointed that there wasn’t more art to ponder.

I was hoping to get some pictures, but about the only thing that caught our eye was this mannequin in an antique store. Something about the jewel glittering in the bellybutton got our attention. I was jealous.

We had reservations at Café Málaga for 8:00 to hear some friends of ours play music. It’s a “tapas” restaurant. I told my husband we were going to a tapas restaurant, and his eyes lit up like a Christmas tree. Until he realized that I said “tapas” not “topless.” I guess you hear what you want to hear, eh?

Our stomachs were growling, and we didn’t think we could wait so late to eat. We decided to stop at a delightful restaurant on the Square called Spoons for a light meal, so we could still enjoy the tapas later. I nearly stayed there.

There was a teenage boy standing at the door with his guitar when we walked inside. He was playing music for a crowd that was only intent on the food mounded on their plates. All I could think was, “How painful is this?” As a storyteller, I’ve worked gigs where people are eating while you perform. It’s excruciating, and I didn’t envy him.

The boy was not anyone you would look at twice; he was gangly and thin. He hid behind enormous black glasses and his long, dark hair was draped over his features. I could hear my mother’s voice in my head as I looked at him, “Get that hair out of your face!”

The child was obviously mortified by the experience in front of the crowd, and was just singing to the floor, bless his heart. He was just a typical teenager. Until he started singing! Oh. My. Gosh!

I thought, “There must be some mistake! I must have died and gone to Heaven, because I hear an angel singing!” He had a magnificent high, clear voice. To please the older crowd in front of him, he was playing songs like “Yesterday” and other things we old fogeys might recognize. But you could tell his heart wasn’t in it. I don’t think it would have been his first choice of music.

I decided to throw him for a loop. I waltzed up to him, popped $5 in his tip jar, told him he had one of the most “beeyoutiful” voices I’d ever heard in my life, and I requested a song. What I asked him to sing suited his voice: 100 Years by Five For Fighting. I can’t embed it, but take a moment and go listen. I’ll wait.

Hmm. Hmmm. Hmmm. Hmm…you back?

OK, so that boy’s face lit up (behind the glasses and the hair, he was actually quite handsome!). He began to sing. He sang with feeling! Even without piano to accompany him, he did a nice job. He got a good response from that, with people actually stopping eating long enough to clap. So, he tried some Depeche Mode and some more contemporary songs that obviously pleased him more. That gave him confidence, and he started making eye contact with people in the restaurant. He got himself an audience, and this gal was loathe to leave. Stupid me! I didn’t even get his name!!

We had to move on, though, because my friends, Rudy Littrell and Duane Brown, were going to be playing and I love their music, too. They are called The E-Flat Porch Band (the porch where they practice resonates to the key of E-flat). We met years ago when we performed at the same festival, and our paths have crossed many times over the years. I listen to their cds as I drive across Texas. It makes the miles go by quickly and painlessly.

I’ll play their music for you if they ever get a YouTube video. I’m after them to do that every time I see them. Their music is a mix of blues, folk, jazz and country swing. Rudy is the best soda pop box player I have ever heard. I’m from Texas, y’all, and I’ve heard myself some soda pop box players, so take it from me. They were being joined at Café Málaga by their friend Steve, from Austin, who plays a pretty mean harmonica. I’m a sucker, so to speak, for “harp music.”

I must say it was a pretty darned good evening! We had a grand time hearing their songs, and I even got the most magnificent tapas at that restaurant! Grilled dates wrapped in bacon! Some of you knew there was going to be bacon in this story.

If you live in North Texas, or are passing through, you might be interested in visiting McKinney. It’s a fun little town any day of the week, and if you like antiques, there is plenty of shopping for you. I don’t know how much “art” there is, because we didn’t see much. You have to walk a little in order to see all the shops, but you can negate the effects of that easily by stopping at every restaurant you see for a bite.

If you notice that little boy playing his guitar, don’t discount him on his looks. Stop long enough to listen. And, get his name for me, would you?

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