After a day of toiling (telling stories), I came home to discover that my husband was going out to a business dinner. That didn’t bother me too much, because it meant I didn’t have to move off my lazy rear to cook.
Then I found out that the suppliers were taking him to Master Grill Churrascaria! It’s a Brazilian style restaurant that is supposed to be marvelous. I turned green with envy.
You see, I wouldn’t know if it’s marvelous or not, because I have never had the privilege of eating there, although the same suppliers have taken my Sweet Spousal Unit to another restaurant like it (I should become friends with these suppliers, I think). I have heard the tales of an orgy of eating with waiters prancing around the place with skewers of meats that have been slow roasted over an open flame. The meals are expensive, and you can eat all you want. I think the primary goal is to eat until you can’t move and the waiters roll you out to the sidewalk.
I sent him on his merry way and settled down to “feast” upon a meal of cold leftovers, hastily gulped, while brushing off some of my stories for the gigs I have this week. I didn’t mind a little peace and quiet after a hectic day.
He returned to tell me of the experience. The man ate so much, that he was looking a little green! He regaled me with a saga of bacon wrapped jalapeños, bacon wrapped chicken, bacon wrapped steak, bacon wrapped shrimp, bacon wrapped lamb, bacon wrapped pork, and bacon wrapped bacon! In an agony of BACON LUST I fell to the floor writhing and weeping.
My SSU smiled sweetly, and said, “But, honey, I did bring you a dessert…”
My tears spewed forth anew.
“What’s wrong?” he asked. “It’s key lime pie. You like key lime pie!”
Through a steady stream of tears, I whimpered, “Yes, but is it wrapped in bacon?”