Bacon Lust

After a day of toiling (telling stories), I came home to discover that my husband was going out to a business dinner. That didn’t bother me too much, because it meant I didn’t have to move off my lazy rear to cook.

Then I found out that the suppliers were taking him to Master Grill Churrascaria! It’s a Brazilian style restaurant that is supposed to be marvelous. I turned green with envy.

You see, I wouldn’t know if it’s marvelous or not, because I have never had the privilege of eating there, although the same suppliers have taken my Sweet Spousal Unit to another restaurant like it (I should become friends with these suppliers, I think). I have heard the tales of an orgy of eating with waiters prancing around the place with skewers of meats that have been slow roasted over an open flame. The meals are expensive, and you can eat all you want. I think the primary goal is to eat until you can’t move and the waiters roll you out to the sidewalk.

I sent him on his merry way and settled down to “feast” upon a meal of cold leftovers, hastily gulped, while brushing off some of my stories for the gigs I have this week. I didn’t mind a little peace and quiet after a hectic day.

He returned to tell me of the experience. The man ate so much, that he was looking a little green! He regaled me with a saga of bacon wrapped jalapeños, bacon wrapped chicken, bacon wrapped steak, bacon wrapped shrimp, bacon wrapped lamb, bacon wrapped pork, and bacon wrapped bacon! In an agony of BACON LUST I fell to the floor writhing and weeping.

Wicked man!

My SSU smiled sweetly, and said, “But, honey, I did bring you a dessert…”

My tears spewed forth anew.

“What’s wrong?” he asked. “It’s key lime pie. You like key lime pie!”

Through a steady stream of tears, I whimpered, “Yes, but is it wrapped in bacon?”

  11 comments for “Bacon Lust

  1. May 13, 2008 at 4:15 am

    Thankfully I’d just finished my drink, otherwise there would now be coke zero all over my keyboard.

    Poor thing, if I were there *I’d* take you out for dinner.

    Robins last blog post..Not what she’d planned

  2. May 13, 2008 at 8:24 am

    Way too much bacon for me, but I get the point here. Too funny. Hope you could get around the bacon on the pie. Bwahahahahaha. Look at all the weight your husband gained that you didn’t. Just saying. Have a great day. 🙂

    Comedy Pluss last blog post..Riddles…

  3. Matty
    May 13, 2008 at 8:52 am

    You should have given him mouth to mouth resuscitation and sucked all that bacon out of him, just to get a bacon fix…. I bet hubby smelled real good.

  4. May 13, 2008 at 1:13 pm

    Haha! That was funny, even if I don’t eat bacon. Oh, and your husband totally has to take you there now, it’s only fair! 🙂

    Friggas last blog post..Wordless Tuesday

  5. May 13, 2008 at 9:32 pm

    Hi Shelly,

    I haven’t been around much, but I still think of you often. You are a busy girl!

    I had to send you this link http://www.photobasement.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/choccoveredbacon.jpg
    because I thought of you the second I saw it. lol
    I bet it would be good. I love bacon too.

    janets last blog post..I AM

  6. May 13, 2008 at 10:30 pm

    You make me crave bacon and I don’t even really care for it!! How do you do that?

    I’m totally thinking your hubby should take you there to make up for your snow stormed birthday dinner!!!

    Jessica The Rock Chicks last blog post..Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?

  7. May 14, 2008 at 7:45 am

    😯 he should have been thoughtful and brought home something in bacon for you, instead of the pie. You are too funny sweets!

    Penelope Annes last blog post..Introducing A Blue Ribbon Blogger ~ Joeprah

  8. May 14, 2008 at 9:29 pm

    Pass the glass cleaner … when bacon lust sets in, there is nothing you can do but drool.

    Jamies last blog post..National Treasure – Size: Extra Large

  9. May 16, 2008 at 11:18 am

    Now that is funny!!! I needed a good laugh!

    TeaMouses last blog post..Diamonds and more

  10. May 16, 2008 at 5:32 pm

    holy cow with the bacon!!! LOL You must have been in heaven…Now the pie sounds yummy too so I would eat the pie first(-: I like the sugar part better then the meat part. That is my problem. I could live on sugar…when I really should be eating more protein. Oh well…

    Cindees last blog post..PeOnIeS

  11. Marcia
    May 20, 2008 at 9:05 pm

    Hahahahahaha. You poor thing, if he doesn’t treat you to dinner there soon, we will! Man I am smelling bacon, I may not eat it anymore, but I love that smell. I hope the couple we meet tomorrow for breakfast doesn’t order bacon, I may weaken.

    Marcias last blog post..Bah, humbug

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