Shelly Googled her own name, because Jamie made her do it (and Shelly always does what Jamie says to do). Shelly was amazed at how many things she needed. There were 2,390,000 listings under the heading “Shelly needs.” She was also chagrined, because many of the listings had to do with…ummm…”intimate adult relationships,” and Shelly does NOT need to talk about “mattress monkeys” on her blog!

Yes, Shelly knows that this meme has been around for awhile, and she resisted doing it because she thought it was silly. But, Shelly needs to be silly now and then (though Google didn’t tell her to do so).
Here is what Google says that Shelly needs:

• Shelly needs donations and rescue.
• Shelly needs a new crib.
• Shelly needs a lot of space.
• Shelly needs a Republican scapegoat.
• Shelly needs additional corrective surgery.
• Shelly needs to work her stuff.
• Shelly needs to work on rational numbers and recognizing the similarities between fractions, decimals, and percents.
• Shelly needs to be socialized.
• Shelly needs to take a Valium.

Actually, Shelly needs to stop Googling!

Shelly will not tag you for this meme unless you want a link. If you choose to do it, tell Shelly and she will link you here with a “deep link.” Or, you can leave a comment and help Shelly mess with Google (actually you will be messing with other people who Google their own needs).

Shelly needs you to leave a comment listing your needs, so that the next goofy person who Googles their own needs will have more choices. You can help Shelly meet her needs by leaving a comment that says, “(Your first name) needs (whatever ridiculous thing you want to put).” Shelly will add it at the bottom of the page (with a link to your blog, because Shelly needs to be generous to her friends). Please remember to keep it clean. Shelly needs to keep the blog “clean,” because Shelly needs to be able to get hired in public schools!

Shelly needs to list your name and link here:

• Jessica needs to post her needs! Oops, Jessica HAS posted her needs, and Shelly thinks you will find it funny. Shelly needs you to click this link and visit Jessica.
• The Freelance Guru (Marcus) needs a birthday. He will take anyone’s birthday. Shelly will give him her 55th birthday. He decided he might have other needs, so Marcus listed his needs.
• Derek thinks that people who talk in the third person might be very self-involved. Derek needs to not sass this little old lady!
• Jeni needs to win the lottery. Then, Jeni needs to remember her poor friends (like Shelly).
• Cindee needs to win a lottery, too. If all of Shelly’s friends are going to win the lottery, maybe Shelly needs to get a lottery ticket, too.
• Jamie needs to loan Shelly a math book
• Sandee doesn’t need a thing, but YOU need to visit her blog for a laugh.

Shelly needs to go now, but she needs you to have a lovely weekend.