I wanted to write for the Thursday Thirteen today, and I had fun stuff to share, but I’m needing to spend time in other pursuits. Mostly I need to think, because I’m facing some hard decisions that frighten the heck out of me. I thought if I fess up and tell y’all what’s going on at my house, maybe I’ll find some answers (not that I expect you to give them to me).
“Between a rock and a hard place.” That’s how my Daddy would describe this situation in which I find myself. It feels to me more like I’m sitting on a fence (and have been for six months or more). I don’t know how in thunder my friend Marcus sits on a pole every day.
I’m afraid to step off on either side! On one side, it’s a hog wallow, and a huge razorback sow is observing me with angry red eyes. She’s waiting for me to make one false move, so I can be pig slop.
On the other side, there are hundreds of rattlesnakes curled up pretending to be sleeping (but I know if I step too close I’ll be a goner).
OK, maybe (as my friend Jamie says) I embroider just a little. It’s not as bad as all that, it just feels like it.
For the past twenty years, I have had the privilege of being able to go into public schools across Texas and tell stories to the students (not “read” them, mind you…I “tell” them…so it’s a “performance”). I won’t play like I’m modest…I’m darned good at what I do. So much so, that I’ve been able to rely on repeat business and word of mouth to keep my business flourishing for the last fifteen years. I didn’t have to market myself, because I had more work than I could handle.
Times are changing.
You might be aware that the economy stinks right now? That affects school districts in a big way. By government mandate, 65% of a school district’s budget must be spent on classroom education (which includes the football program, by the way, but not the library). Programs like mine, the “enrichment programs,” are lumped in with the other 35%. That part includes administrative salaries, school bus transportation, school maintenance, and school lunch programs, as well as many other expenses. Where do you think “enrichment” stands in all of that? Yep. It gets drastically reduced or cut out of the picture all together.
Add to that the fact that many of my contacts are retiring (or schools are doing away with librarians). In the last two years, a third of the people who have hired me disappeared. Jobs are few and far between these days.
If I want to keep telling stories, I have to engage in some time consuming, expensive, and demoralizing marketing. There is only one part of my job that I thoroughly despise: cold calls. And, I can do all that excruciating marketing and it might not make a bit of difference if the money isn’t there.
That’s one side of the fence…and it can be the hog or the snakes (it doesn’t matter).
On the other side of the fence, I’ve got the real world. If I can’t make a living telling stories, I need to go find a job. But, after twenty years of living in my head, I don’t trust that I have any job skills left! I don’t have a clue about what I can do!
I can’t be a nursing home administrator again, because I let my license lapse eighteen years ago. Now, I’d have to go get a Master’s Degree to get re-instated (and I don’t think I want to do that job again anyway). About all I’m fit to do is work at Home Depot (the orange uniforms would not look good with my hair) or be a greeter at Wal Mart (at least I do look good in blue).
Unfortunately, if I have to get a job in the real world, I have to renounce storytelling completely. It wouldn’t be fair to an employer to say, “I’ll work for you unless I get a better offer.”
If I have to give up storytelling, I might as well cut out my heart.
Those are the two choices I see. And, perhaps the worst of it is that either way I’ll probably have to curtail my blogging or give it up. It’s a decision I just can’t make right now. Blogging is about the only thing that is saving my sanity (such as it is) at the moment.
To those of you who wonder that I don’t often visit or don’t work with my comments the way I should, please don’t take it personally.
I’m sitting frozen on this danged fence. And, I’m too scared to move.
Other posts you might enjoy:
{ 14 comments }
Wow major decisions in your life. I am one of those school workers and they have cut back a lot at our school too. I say wait a year and things will perk up. That is what I would do if I were you. You can work when you can and the rest of the time write!!! You could write some stories and have them published. You are an excellent story teller and you shouldn’t waste your time at Home Depot or WalMart etc. Do what you love to do. Life is to short to waste it doing something you don’t want to do(-:
I hope you have a shotgun handy while you sit on the fence so at least you can do some target practice(-:
cindees last blog post..Two More New Violets
Give classes in storytelling — there are venues you could use — also, community centers are usually looking for new instructors and activities. Many of them wait for a proposal. (Granted it probably would pay little….)
Offer classes to camps (OK, so summer is gone, but rec centers that are open for school vacations mid year look for special people…. hint.. that would be you.)
Publish stories, Freelance articles, check with a temp agency for occasional work. Make ONE cold call. Tell yourself it is the last and then make another one. grin.
Now, the pushy me would say, do not stop storytelling, the polite me would say do what you think is best, dear. The realist would say brainstorm like crazy, post on your blog for suggestions (done), and do what you need to do after more thought.
Are there not private schools that want storytellers?
Crochet something that people can’t resist and sell it on line or wherever else. Write a story with it, etc.
Ask Dora!
Find a part time or share job that allows you to work a few days a week.
Whatever you do, I know you will do it well… and story telling is in your blood… it won’t disappear completely.
Yikes honey. What tough decisions for sure. I know things will turn around, but that’s going to be a few years from now. I hope something works out for you in the very near future. Big hug.
Comedy Pluss last blog post..Lion Tamer
Well, Cindee’s suggestion is the same as mine. Why not do a compilation of the stories you’ve told -like an anthology or something along that line, ya know. As she said -and I agree wholeheartedly here -you write so well here, and if you’ve been making a good living all these years with verbal renditions of your stories -why not write them down for lots more to enjoy! Put reading back to work in kids minds and perhaps even a good many adults too! The teaching bit also sounds like a good idea to me as well -either/or, Kiddo! You have your niche, now expand it a bit.
Sometimes in life we either have to choose the hard way or take the easy way. The hard way for you is now the way you love. I would find a way to make it work, because you’ll feel like you’ve wasted everything if you fall to the wrong side of the fence.
Cheating Deaths last blog post..Sitemeter Strikes again!
The economy will get better eventually. And it will be a real shame if you have to stop telling your stories. I hope this can come to a happy conclusion for you. Good luck sorting it out.
And When it comes to sitting up a pole all day, this is how I do it.
Freelance Gurus last blog post..Free Razors from Trimflixx. Be Enlightened and Smooth
Another idea is to contemplate the aging population and their need for yarning.
If you fear telemarketing, there are people out there not so afraid. I am a virtual assistant and there are people like me all over the world (in your neck of the woods too) and some specialise in telemarketing – and they tend to charge fairly nice rates – or at least I do (although I don’t think the international rates would work in our favour).
First, I’m in shock over your note that “65% of a school district’s budget must be spent on classroom education (which includes the football program, by the way, but not the library).” Okay, I’m still struggling with that, but let me continue by saying that someone with your imagination can and will adapt! That marketing you dislike is nothing more than determining your new niche (finding where your skills fit into emerging needs) … and selling yourself just like you sell a story! Remember, whenever there is change, new needs emerge! (By the way, I have been wondering why you haven’t employed video here since you are a story-teller. With the increasing popularity of audio books and online promotion tools like You Tube and other video opportunities, this could be a very ripe time for a story teller. The publishing market is no longer just for writers! Just a thought!)
Brendas last blog post..More butterflies, more meanings
I expect I will adapt, indeed. I don’t use video, because stories don’t translate well without an audience (the audience reaction is what makes the stories come alive). If I get more brave, I might try the publishing…but again, it means “selling” and I take rejection too personally
Thanks for the input! And, the moral support.
I’ve got a houseful of relatives waiting for me and you’ve already gotten some wonderful advice but I had to take the time to add this – don’t settle for ANYTHING
I won’t
(stupid Wordpress)
…don’t settle for ANYTHING that makes you feel like you’ve cut your heart out. Compromise with a throwaway part-time job to cover the tough times if you must, but keep that part of you alive and kicking and ready to work. That, and ALWAYS listen to that little voice deep inside of you – it won’t steer you wrong.
Much love to you. Hang in there, you’ll find the path through this.
(Wordpress is no more stupid than Blogger
)
I’m not going to settle. I just can’t. You are right. That voice deep inside is the one to hear.
“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. Security does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than exposure.”
That Helen Keller sure knew what the heck she was talking about.
If you hate cold calling, don’t do it. Go grab a dozen donuts and a few iced coffees and hit the libraries with some treats for the head librarian, or the schools with a treat for the principal. Or cookies and milk, whatever treat you want to bring. Don’t call and tell people what you can do as a storyteller, go show them. But bring food. Everybody loves food.
Yeah, Amber. The donuts is a good idea, but I can’t get past the front office (school security, you know). I can barely get to them on the phone. but, I’ll keep trying and not give up hope. Thanks for the advice, though.
I read this when you first wrote it, and didn’t really know what to say. A job you don’t like just to make ends meet is miserable. I know, I just quit doing that last summer.
You are such a talented, creative woman. I adore they way you tell stories, write blog posts. You’re a great story teller. I hope you find a way to do the things you love and still earn the money you need to live.
I’ll figure out something, Kacey. I figure that one way or the other the Universe will provide for me. Hey…I’m not living on the street, and that’s a good thing. A shopping cart wouldn’t hold all my crap!
You my friend, are meant to tell stories. That is where your heart is and cutting it out isn’t really an option, is it? I believe, very strongly, that where there’s a will, there’s a way. And honey if there is anyone who has a will, it’s you!!!!
Are you advertising on the web for your storytelling? Expand that. Send the link to school districts, etc. Mailouts to libraries, city halls, civic centers, etc. Have faith…it’ll work out.
YellowRoses last blog post..We’re Back & We’re Pooped!
Unfortunately, getting past spam filters at school districts is difficult. But, I’m working on some ideas. I know I’m supposed to tell stories. I’ll figure out something. Thanks for the supportive words!:wink:
This is an awful place to be. I wish there was a way you could stay up on the fence and avoid both of them.
I don’t have any ideas (in fact, my brain cells seem to have gone into hibernation since Aug 9th), but I wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and praying a better route will come along.
I appreciate the good thoughts. That’s about the best anybody else can do for me, Miss Vicki.
Comments on this entry are closed.
{ 2 trackbacks }