When I was in high school (which was too many years ago to count), there were basically four different “crowds” to which a kid could belong. You had your “Popular, Cool Kids,” the “Hippie Freaks,” the “Geeks,” and the “Band Qu**rs” (that’s what we called them in the days before “political correctness,” “The Band Qu**rs,” but we didn’t use asterisks…and it only meant “odd”).
Most kids fit into one of these categories, but I was an outsider. I floated on the fringes. I had friends in every one of those crowds, but I was distinguished as a member of none. You couldn’t be a member of more than one crowd, because they were exclusive groups!
I couldn’t be a “Popular, Cool Kid.” It wasn’t that people didn’t like me, but I was too terribly shy to be “cool.” Being a “Hippie Freak” was out of the question, because my Daddy would have found out (it was a small town) and I would have been grounded for life. I wasn’t smart enough to be a “Geek.” And, I couldn’t be a “Band Qu**r,” because I got thrown out of the band after Mr. Heath discovered that I was trying to lip-synch playing the clarinet in the marching band. So, I just continued on my merry (and mediocre) way. In fact, I took a perverse pleasure in the fact that I did not fit in with the crowd.
Now, I thought that when I grew up, all that petty exclusiveness was behind me. I thought that I could give up worrying about trying to be a “square peg trying to fit into a round hole.”
Then, I started blogging! Aww man!
There are more ways to get left out of the crowd in blogging than you can shake a stick at (a Popular, Cool Kid would never end a sentence with a preposition). First, Technorati slammed me. It took me to the heights: I had more than 500 links! I was on the “A-list!” Ooops! Then the links got old and Technorati took them away. “Sorry, Charley.” Now, I’m back on the “F-list.” Alexa rates blogs, too…but they don’t even recognize my existence.
Oh, WAIT! I got on Alltop! They claim they have “all the best stories.”
Did I hear you say, “How did you get on there?”
Well, that was rude, but I’ll tell you. It was a little bit of luck, help from a friend, and a polite letter to Guy Kawasaki that did it. Does that mean I’m “popular?”
Ummm. I’m waaay at the bottom of a loooong list on a not very popular category. You would have to search for a week to find my listing. Does that tell you anything?
[If anybody has any clout with Guy Kawasaki, I'd give my right eye tooth if you could you write him and tell him that I deserve to be "above the fold." No, wait, I can't "see" me doing that. I'll give you my first bi-cuspids instead...I have them in a drawer around here somewhere. They don't have any cavities or anything.]
Now I’ve discovered something that really burns me: I can’t even hang out with the “mediocre crowd” anymore! That’s right. There’s an “anti-alltop” movement called “All Mediocre…The Web’s Best Blogs…You Just Don’t Know It Yet.” If you got lucky enough to be on Alltop, they won’t let you be part of it! Does that stink, or what?? Do you hear me gnashing my teeth?
The worst part is that they have the most wonderful badges!
Dang, those would have made great Blog Bumper Stickers! I can’t get one, because they won’t let me join. But, maybe you want to join so you can have that on your sidebar? Maybe not the fish guts, but they have other pretty ones (though I gotta say I kinda like the fish guts). At the very least, go check out the blogs. You can thank me later.
Right now, a little ditty is running around in my head, because I’m feeling blue:
Nobody likes me
Everybody hates me
I’m gonna go and eat worms.
[Update: Evidently people are taking this seriously. While I do think that the blog world is as cliquish as the rest of the world, I was being silly. All Mediocre pokes fun at its policy, and I was, too. Mostly, I wanted you to check it out, because you might want to join ...if you aren't on Alltop!]
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{ 6 comments }
I have heard that sentiment different ways but yours cracked me up.
The only way to feel good about blogging is to set your own criteria for success. People look when you do!
I’ll never be John Chow or Dooce or This Eclectic Life
But I can always be a better D until my teeth fall out 
Thanks for the thought!
If your teeth fall out, we can put ‘em in a drawer with MY teeth. You have surpassed This Eclectic Life. YOU are part of the “in” crowd…you even get interviews!
Okay now untie your panties, take a deep breath and do me a big favor…….sit down and read some of your first blog posts? What were your goals then? Look how freaking far you have come in 1.6 years and all without using a number in your blog titles.
“8 Hints for a better blog”
“13 Reasons why you have to blog…”
“5 ways to throw a fit about not fitting in the Blog Cliques”, whatever, you get the picture.
You’re doing fine and have many dedicated readers.Sometimes it’s the quiet ones under the radar who can get things going….
Jennymcbs last blog post..Sesame Street Fun
Oh…my knickers weren’t in a twist…I was being silly mostly. Though, I would like to be able to be a part of the mediocre crowd! Mainly, I just wanted to whine about something. And, I did, didn’t I?
Oh pretty fish guts!
I must go get some for my place…
You are such a funny lady. Thanks for making me smile today.
Oh, I hope you do get fish guts! Make the picture bigger so folks can really see the gore! Thanks for laughing…because most people seem to think I was serious (and when the heck am I really serious?).
I adore you
Freelance Gurus last blog post..Darn Kids with their Punk and their MTV….
Well, darlin’, you know I adore you, too. I think I like the fact that (since you are somewhat sarcastic, too) you “get” my ridiculous humor when others don’t.
oh man, can I empathize with being that kid in high school. And it NEVER ends no matter how old you get. I think you just stop caring as much. Well, I just stumbled across your blog and must say that I will keep reading. Going in my Google REader as we speak!
Heh, I wish I could even make it past a month. That’d be cool. Right now I’m trying to make it past two months.
I like your writing style, it makes me feel all warm inside.
Threethans last blog post..Baby Ripping Paper
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