Raising children is no job for sissies. It is the most difficult task we ever take upon ourselves. When those tiny, fragile humans come into our care, they don’t come with instruction manuals. What a pity! It’s a job that needs a manual like no other.
Now, if y’all believe my newspaper, you would think that most people fail at that job. You would believe that the world is filled with parents who are monsters! Every day, I see stories about people who horribly abuse their children. They vent their frustrations on infants by using them as punching bags, even burn them to death in a microwave oven.
Those people are the exceptions.
For every one of those people, there are 10,000 parents who are loving and good. They do everything in their power to provide for the needs of their children. It’s no easy task.
Children, like a rose garden, need a lot of attention. They have to be fed and nurtured. Some are so fragile that they need extra special care. They sometimes have to be pruned and shaped. Occasionally there are activities that have to be nipped in the bud! If you aren’t paying attention, they can get totally out of control or wither and fade away.
It would be nice if the world were like the television shows I watched back in the 1950s. Mothers would all be June Cleaver clones. We would be wise and all-knowing. Our houses would be spotless. Every evening we would serve our families delicious, nutritious hot meals. We would always be available to listen to our children and comfort them with home baked chocolate chip cookies and a glass of milk.
The unfortunate reality is that most moms these days have to work outside the home. It takes two incomes to be able to provide for our children. Working 9-5 doesn’t leave a lot of time at the end of the day to nurture the children.
Women have been taught to believe that we can have it all! We can have a high powered executive job, a spotless house, lovely children, and a loving relationship with our spouse. We can be good daughters, excellent friends, help out in the community, support our causes, and indulge our hobbies.
That’s a fairy tale!
There isn’t that much time in a day! I’m not saying that a woman can’t work and raise children. Unlike those television shows of the 1950s, fathers play a role in nurturing these days, too. It can be done. But, I’m saying that if we (the moms out there) try to have it all then something is going to suffer. The children shouldn’t have to pay the price.
I admire women who choose to take on the task of mothering several children. They have chosen to accept the responsibility of raising those children to a successful adulthood. If a woman has chosen that path (and it is a choice), then I believe that her first responsibility is to nurture them. That means she has to be available.
The Alaskan Governor, Sarah Palin, has chosen to run for the second most powerful position in United States government. This is a pretty demanding job, don’t y’all think? She also chose to have five children. The oldest is 19 years of age. The youngest, born when Palin was 44, is less than 6 months old. Palin’s husband, the First Gentleman of Alaska, isn’t going to step in for any nurturing, because he has two jobs (one for Bristol Petroleum and another as a commercial salmon fisherman). Who is going to take up the slack?
Someone need to take up the slack! Palin’s 17 year old daughter is pregnant out of wedlock, and her infant has Down Syndrome. I believe her children need her right now more than the country does. Sounds to me like her rose garden needs some attention.
I’m just sayin’.
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{ 10 comments }
Hmmm. I see your point, but I think I have to respectfully disagree.
I think, from reading other posts, that this might be a rare occasion. 
I do think she has to tend her garden, absolutely. And she chose to have the number of children she had, nobody forced her. I’ve no argument there, and it does seem that the twain between VP and Mom will never meet.
But, parenting doesn’t stop when a child turns 18. Just because her children are younger doesn’t make her a bad candidate–after all, in an alternate universe, we might have the option of electing Hilary Clinton president, and she’s a mother. Additionally, nobody said that having children should end your career options–there are people who you can hire to help with your children if you have a demanding job, and there are people who are very carefully trained to help wtih children who have Down’s Syndrome.
I think that Palin is giving her daughters a strong, positive role model, and giving her sons food for thought–if a woman can get the VP nod from a Republican candidate, what can’t they do? It seems to me that seeing their Mom in power might help change/cement how they think about women and how they treat their eventual girlfriends/wives.
I also think that Dad’s jobs might be important, but they might need to come secondary to VP of the USA.
My husband and I always had an agreement–if I made more money when the kids came, I would be the one working. If he made more money when the kids came, he’d stick with the job. And actually, that worked out really well for us, since he’s now the one with the higher income potential, four years later.
HOWEVER. If it had been the opposite, I darned well would have expected him to take up his part of the slack and nurture in my absence. Absolutely! It takes two people to make a baby, and it ought to take two people to raise one–just because the children grow in my uterus and are delivered of my body does not mean that he has any less of an obligation to these kiddos.
And just as with rose gardening, once the roses are tended, there’s time to sit and enjoy them, too–and nobody ever said you couldn’t tend your roses AND your violets AND your tulips.
Ambers last blog post..Good Medicine
It’s perfectly cool if you disagree with me, you won’t be the first person who has!
And I see your points, too. I worked when my kids were small, and I know it can be done. My kid’s dad was very nurturing, though. But, I know that trying to be a successful worker AND mother takes a toll. I think it’s great that she is a role model (though I think you can be a wonderful role model without being Vice President). I just see two kids with some special problems who need the attention of their mother (not a caregiver, however qualified that caregiver might be). Having children should not limit your career options…but sometimes your ambitions might have to get put on “hold” while you take care of the most important business of raising the children you chose to bring into the world.
just passing through, Shelly. I appreciate your thoughts – and that’s about all I will say.
love from Alaska
barbaras last blog post..The Shack
Ah, my friend, thank you for still sending me love, though we disagree. I know you are justifiably proud of your governor. I don’t question her qualifications. I simply think her children need her right now.
I actually do agree with you. VP job is very demanding. The republicans won’t win this election, she’ll be with her children soon
Made me giggle…
Her husband is going to take up the role. The day she was picked, he quit his job of 17 years for her.
It’s good that her husband is willing to do that, and I am sure he will nurture his children well. But, may I think that he quit his job (not for her) for the children?
?
I lean toward your thoughts, Shelly, though I just read Ben’s comment that her husband is going to pick up her role as nurturer for her. I think it matters less which parent it is, but I do feel strongly that the average child deserves a parent at home more than just occasionally.
However, on the other side, just because a mother is home all the time, does not mean her daughter will not become pregnant at 17… and so on.
I still lean more toward your way of thinking though. I worked full time, but staggered schedules, and I fought to spend more time with our son and later our niece.
If Pallin’s husband did quit his job for the children, then he’s a good man. I fully believe that men can nurture, too. And, you are right, a parent being at home won’t stop a kid from getting pregnant, involved with drugs, or any number of lesser difficulties. My main worry is the infant with Down Syndrome. With early intervention, the child can relatively normal life, and I know that they have the money to make that happen…but, I just feel that the baby needs his momma….
If it’s true that her husband quit his job when she got picked as VP then I think maybe he can step up to the plate. I was raised by my dad and he did a pretty good job, I think.
Anyway, I hope the Democrats win.
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I’m all for Dad’s who nurture. I just hope somebody in the family is doing that nurturing.
Well…doesn’t Obama also have roses he needs to tend?
His wife will be first lady, which is also a demanding position…their children will also be tended to by caregivers, out of necessity.
I guess I’m just not OK with saying that having children who are still living at home precludes you from white house aspirations.
And I think Palin has a lot to bring to the position–she’ll be one of the strongest advocates that people with disabilities will ever have in Washington…and that’s part of tending her garden, too.
Ambers last blog post..Fall Is In The Air.
Darlin’, I love you even though we disagree (it is OK for people to have different viewpoints
). Obama has roses to tend, too, but I can’t find reference to him having a four month old with Down Syndrome. Yes, I agree with you that Pallin is a strong woman, and an excellent role model for women. I don’t think that having kids at home precludes a woman from having aspirations toward the White House. I think that if you have children with special needs, their needs come before those of the country. But, I’ve been wrong before 
I love Sarah Palin. I think she is a strong woman and a woman our daughters all need to see and learn from. It is not easy being a mother. She will be a great VP and she will also still be a great mother! I think her husband will need to step up and take over the care at home during her VP duties! He seems like a loving man and father too.
Go Sarah!!!
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You don’t get an argument from me that Pallin is a strong woman, and yes, our daughters need role models. It isn’t easy being a mom, and maybe she will do just fine. Time will tell, I guess.
Hey Shelly-
I was just saying this same exact thing to my mom yesterday at work. I agree with you.
It’s not that I believe that women shouldn’t have careers and children or that a woman should be Pres or VP. I do think it’s possible to have a career, children and even be President.
In this case, I was looking at the individual, Sarah Palin. She obviously has a lot going on in her family right now and when I look at her, all I think is that her family needs her right now. Nothing to do with qualifications, whether or not women should work or anything like that.
To me, it just doesn’t seem like the right time for Sarah Palin to be doing what she’s doing. I don’t know how else to explain it, but I know exactly what you are saying.
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That is EXACTLY what I am saying, but I didn’t articulate it properly. I’m not knocking her abilities (though I disagree with several of her viewpoints), I’m not knocking her capabilities, I’m just saying that her kids need her right now, and the country could wait a few years. I know she doesn’t want to miss the opportunity…but sometimes we have to make difficult choices for the sake of the children we chose to have.
You put it eloquently versus the blog that I wrote. I have a special ed. background and feel strongly that she is putting her ambition over her children’s upbringing. There are five children involved. I don’t think she was the most qualified candidate available and I hope that it wasn’t a ploy for the female vote. The first five years are important in a baby’s development, and there are many babies in the same situation with medical problems. A comment was made on my blog about this being 2008 and questioning whether a mother can have a career and a family…..which one do you want to do well?
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Don’t play like you are naive , sweet friend. We both KNOW it was a ploy for the female vote. My biggest fear is that it might work. I don’t understand this sudden love affair conservatives are having with this woman. I admit she’s a strong role model, I agree that a woman can have a career and be a mother. But, you are right: “which one do you want to do well?”
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