I briefly considered becoming a vegetarian this weekend. That resolve lasted almost fifteen minutes. I was thinking about it because the doctor says I need to lower my cholesterol. I figure that it’s time to worry if she looks at the test results and says something like, “How are you alive?”
The sad thing is that I don’t really eat that badly. I don’t really consume a lot of junk food, and I eat fresh vegetables daily. Oh yeah, I TALK about bacon all the time, but I don’t eat it often. Didn’t your Momma ever tell you that if people talk about something all the time it means they aren’t getting any?
She was probably talking about something else.
Anyway, the thought flitted through my head that I could eschew meat and lower my cholesterol, but I was watching the travel channel on television at the time. First, there was a show about the best places to get hot dogs in the United States. I was ready to hop on a plane and head to Chicago to Superdawg.
That show was followed by one about where to get the best hamburgers in the United States. Did you know that if you eat a big hamburger with cheese, a big order of fries and a large shake it has 28 grams of saturated fat? That’s the same as gobbling 1/8 of a pound of straight butter (which wouldn’t bother me much at all, either). I don’t know what that level shoots up to when you eat a bacon cheeseburger. I know these things, but I was still salivating during the show.
Then came the pièce de résistance: a program about the best places to find fried food! Oh. My. Thunder! Just watching it made my cholesterol level shoot up 30 points! When they showed the chicken fried BACON I thought I was going to have a stroke.
In tears at the thought of giving up such marvelous foods, I remembered that my friend Marcia says that her cholesterol is high — and she is a vegetarian. AHA! I decided that it’s a crapshoot anyway, so I’ll just look for something easier.
A few hours on-line, and I think I have a plan to lower my cholesterol without much pain! I’ve found some foods that claim to lower cholesterol. There have even been tests done that prove it (but I forgot to get all the links, so you’ll just have to believe me):
- Cheerios can lower your cholesterol by 4%.
- Oatmeal can lower your cholesterol by 5%
- Walnuts can lower your cholesterol by 12%
- Pinto beans can lower your cholesterol by 8%
- Peanut oil and peanut butter can lower your cholesterol by 11%
- Benecol, which is a spread much like butter, can lower your cholesterol by 10%
- Corazonas chips can lower your cholesterol by 15%
- Taking flax seed oil pills can lower your cholesterol by 6%
- Taking fish oil and red rice yeast pills can lower your cholesterol by a whopping 42.4%
Heck, if I can make myself ingest all that crap, I’ll be in the negative numbers with my cholesterol! Why, I’d probably have to eat some bacon to get my cholesterol up to a healthy level!
Oh, darn.
Does anyone know any good recipes that include peanut butter, oatmeal, and pinto beans? I’d rather get it over in one sitting.
[Editor's note: Before you decide to lecture me, please note that this is written tongue-in-cheek. If you have high cholesterol, please do not take my advice. Even I won't take my advice! In fact, if you were even considering it, you might also consider getting your head examined.]
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{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
Well at least your food is going to be interesting, even if it won’t be as delicious as a bacon cheeseburger.
I do think that eating some healthy food would definitely pay dividends. I don’t know if the numbers that you have are correct, but I’d tend to think that it can’t hurt to do as much as possible.
Are you going to mention what you’re actually going to do?
Derek Wongs last blog post..What Happened Usher Raymond IV?
Some of that stuff I eat, Derek, but mostly I was being silly. I do take the flax seed, and I eat Cheerios. I use Benecol and when I can choke down oatmeal I will…though not often. No, I probably won’t post on what I will actually do, because it wouldn’t be silly enough for me.
I don’t think I considered the vegetarian thing longer than 20 seconds ever. And I don’t eat much meat anyway.
My parents use Benecol. Nasty, nasty stuff! We bring our own butter if we go to eat at Mom’s.
kaceys last blog post..The Siren Call of a Pretty Notebook
I said it lasted 15 minutes, just because I didn’t want to sound like such a baby. I didn’t think about it for more than a minute
. I use the Benecol, and it doesn’t taste like much of anything! I much prefer butter, but…oh whell.
I found your blog by looking at the products of the person who designed your blog. Funny how you get from one place to another in cyberspace.
As for cholesterol, mine was high but the good stuff was elevated and the bad stuff wasn’t. However, I gave up cheese (which I love) and it went back to normal. No more eggs either – the weekend breakfast burritos went out the window. However, I do partake in a glass of red wine “quite often!”
Desert Divas last blog post..Manic Monday
I’m glad you visited Leanne and found me! I can give up cheese and eggs, but it really burns me to give up bacon. I don’t drink much wine, but I love my dark ale…I have plebeian taste
Oh that was funny! And I don’t even eat meat… well not really on most days. But at least once a week I try to eat either chicken, turkey or fish. But I don’t think I could give up fried foods, especially my fried cheese on a stick! :-0…
Friggas last blog post..Questions
So, are you one of those “semi-vegetarians?” Those fried foods are heck on our systems, but dang they sure are delicious! Just thinking about it, I’m antsy to try a chicken fried bacon strip
Heck, I eat black beans all the time, don’t know if they are as good as PInto in that, but they do beat them in a couple other things. Besides all the restaurants that cook vegetarian black beans put meat in their pintos down here.
So, I already grab a bite or two of Leon’s cheerios at night. I suppose I’ll make oatmeal cookies, but leave your bacon and my cheese out, then dig the walnuts and raisins out of the hurricane emergency stash, find the nysterious red rice yeast pills and set alarms to remember to take them and the flax capsules — but none of that chemical sounding stuff.
I actually remembered to take ONE flax seed capsule today because you posted, thank you – and my skin desperately needed that. (And thanks for the link!)
I know I need to get serious about this.
Marcias last blog post..Change
I’m still thinking that it just about has to be genetic. I mean, I KNOW you eat well. Why is yours high? And, if you eat well and yours is high…why should I bother? I take the flax seed (when I remember). Guess I’m going to have to start paying attention. Blech!
Shelly- just ask the doc to put you on Zetia. I should not have high CHO but I do. After 2 years of trying everything under the sun to get it down, I agreed (kicking & screaming) to take Zetia. It worked!
I think she has been holding off on medications until the “liver issue” is resolved. So, if I take Zetia, can I eat BACON???
Superdawg is about a mile and a half from my house! Honestly, I don’t care for Superdawgs, but I love to look at the building and “Maurie” and “Flaurie” (the statues atop the building) are Chicago landmarks.
Sorry to hear about the cholesterol problems. I’ll check FoodTV for a recipe for you with all those ingredients
. If you come to Chicago, we’ll picnic with it in the Superdawg lot! LOL
Jessica The Rock Chicks last blog post..Let’s Get Physical
I thought about you as that program rolled, and wondered if you were a fan of Superdawg. If I can find a way to Chicago, you’ll have to take me somewhere to get a good hot dog (then I can load up on cholesterol medication!)
Nah, don’t worry about a recipe. I’m not going to eat half of that stuff! Thanks anyway.
This is spooky. I just blogged about my cholesterol the other day! Mine is a bit high, but I refuse to take the yucky prescriptions that my doctor wants me to take. I’ve been taking fish oil for more than a year and I gave up sugar and flour (most days, anyway!) for almost a year. I lost 26 pounds, but only lost 11 points in my bad cholesterol. I’m with you on the meat..and that’s pretty much all I have left! I do eat more veggies though, and I rarely get any trans fats! I won’t go back to the way I ate before, the migraines have almost completely vanished and I can have fried eggs for breakfast every single morning, though I usually alternate them with oatmeal.
If you figure out the secret, please share okay?
Sounds as if you have made great strides! Losing the weight is supposed to help with the cholesterol (but a better self-image is a good thing, too!). If I find any secrets, be sure I’ll blab about them
. Two can keep a secret if one of them is dead.
Leann I Ams last blog post..And the rest of the week will be downhill, right?
This is a great topic and discussion – I actually work at Corazonas in the Marketing department. I make a point to eat heart-healthy myself (a handful of almonds a day and plenty of Olive Oil are my ‘weapons of choice’) and when I found out about these chips that lowered Cholesterol I was intrigued enough to apply for a job – and well, here we are….
It’s true; our chips were proven in clinical trials to lower LDL cholesterol up to 15%. You can find out more about the study, read our blog, see where we’re sold, etc. on our website http://www.corazonas.com
Cheers to everyone who believes (as I do) in improving health through lifestyle!
Thanks for dropping by, Joe. I had found your website and linked to it…now if I could just find the chips! I saw on your site that my local Walgreens has them. Perhaps tomorrow I can stop by there. Kroger and Super Target didn’t know the product. They had better not taste like carboard
. If I like them, I’ll blog about them all by themselves.