Have y’all ever gone down the aisles of your local Plants-R-Us store marveling at the luscious green beauties in those pots? Did you ever hear any of them call out to you, “Oooh! Pick me! Pick ME!“?
Neither have I.
What I hear, as the violets shrink away from me, is, “NOOOOO! Don’t let HER see me! Hide me!” That’s what I hear, but it could just be those voices in my head.
However, any houseplant that has ever been in my possession will tell you that it will be a slow and torturous death. I don’t use the waterboard to interrogate them, but I do talk baby talk to them and play the music of Queen for them. That usually kills them off right there.
I have the darndest time keeping houseplants alive, although I do have the best intentions. Most of them give up the ghost pretty quickly. The “money tree” didn’t even last one season. However, there are a few that have survived for many years.
I have one ivy with five leaves on it, however the vine feeding those leaves is about seven feet long. There are African Violets glaring at me from the windowsill in my kitchen. They refuse to thrive, but they also refuse to die. They know I don’t want them, but they also know I don’t have the guts to kill them outright. Those violets are living for spite.
Then, there is the Rubber Tree Plant. I’ve had it for at least twenty years. It once stood higher than my head; it was tall and proud. But, I forgot to bring it inside one winter and the top froze. I valiantly tried to save it by cutting out the dead parts and continuing to water it. It stayed alive, but I know it wishes I had been merciful and let it die. Now, it spreads out in every direction and is wider than it is tall. It is a twisted, gnarled, mockery of a rubber tree plant.
Oops.
Now, hold on a minute. I know what you are thinking. You are thinking, “Shelly, you said you were only going to post good stuff on Friday. You said that you were trying to spread an “optimism virus” on the internet, and told us to join you! You talked about charities and oatmeal cookies and NOW you are talking about killing plants! What gives?”
At least, I think that is what you are thinking. I might just be hearing voices in my head.
Here is the “good” part: there is a plant that even I can’t kill!
The aloe vera plant!
Yessiree. I know I can’t kill it, because I tried! It started out with one pot that was full of aloe vera, so I divided it. Then, they outgrew the pots and I divided those. Last summer, I realized I had more than twenty large pots of aloe vera, all of which need to come inside during the winter. It’s a trick to bring so many plants inside when you have five cats — they consider every pot a new litter box.
So, I decided to just ignore them and let them die. I figured the Texas heat would make short work of them, because even The Devil can’t stand to come to Texas in the summer. But, I was wrong. They flourished! When cold weather came around, I felt guilty that I had tried to murder them, and brought them into my guest room. They fill up the entire room.
But, that’s still good, because I might just have a use for them. You see, my doctor still thinks that my tingly hands and feet might be caused by a “chemical burn” from using old lotion on them. All that bloodwork I had was “inconclusive,” although she did give me a shot of B12, because it was low (and it could cause the symptoms). She said if it didn’t clear up, then we could do an MRI and spinal tap to see if I have MS.
I vote for chemical burn.
If this is a “chemical burn,” aloe vera might be good for it … at least that’s what my Momma always said. She swore by using aloe vera on cuts, scrapes, and burns.
So, I’m going upstairs to “amputate” and see if those plants can finally earn their keep. Y’all have a Friday filled with Only The Good.
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Loved the plant story – mine are all artificial and looking great!
I vote for using your “old friend” the aloe vera plant – healing is good.
Desert Divas last blog post..Truly Grateful?
Artificial would be the smart woman’s way to go…of course, not the way I would go
I’m gonna try that aloe vera, because smearing it on my hands sounds much nicer than a spinal tap…let’s see how it goes. I’m LOVING your “gratitude posts.” You’re pics are so good.
Sure hope that aloe works for ya (I, like your mom, swear by it for burns and such…I heart my aloe plants!)
…oh, and BTW, I have EVERY intention of sending some “charms” your way – just as soon as I get to a store that has polymer clay!
Mos last blog post..Good News! Fluffy’s Family Found!
Polymer clay? You know how to use that & make stuff? I’m so jealous. I bought some, but haven’t tried to play with it yet. Maybe you should come here and give me lessons?
Oh, and with the aloe…I’ve used it before and it worked. I’m just hoping that it will do anything for me now! My hands are so tingly I can barely type.
I too used to kill all plants, but I actually have about 5 that are now not only surviving but thriving in my home. Does this mean I’m ready to move on to pets? Isn’t that the progression? First plants, then pets, then kids? Something like that? No? Just as well.
Something about plants that “grow and multiply” like your aloe vera plants are doing creeps me out though…I can’t explain why, it just gives me the willies.
Happy ONLY THE GOOD Friday!!!
Karinas last blog post..Through The Storm – A Book Review
I dunno, darlin. I don’t think that having five living plants qualifies you for parenthood, but maybe you could get a pet. A goldfish?
I’m being mean…sorry. The aloe vera seemed to really like the heat & dryness…and it did indeed take off growing more. Doesn’t give me the willies, though. It just makes me sigh REAL BIG. Happy Only The Good Friday to you, too. Thanks for posting!
Awww, Shelly! Good luck with the Aloe Vera! I lost all mine in a hard freeze 2 years ago. I was so sad. I had been growing those puppies for 10 years or more! All it took was forgetting to put their blankie on ONE NIGHT in our winter desert and… mush! (I had 2 #2 washtubs full). Got my good on over at my place!
Thornes last blog post..Only The Good Friday #6 Holiday Edition #1
If you would like, I’ll send you several washtubs full of mine
I hope the Aloe works! Go Aloe!
I’m not sure it needs cheerleaders, but GO ALOE. We’ll see if that works
Toni (Mo;s mom)s last blog post..Life after court
Hey, one person’s “weeds” is the next person’s “wildflowers.”
Love the aloe. You gotta love something that says cut me in half and I’ll cure you.
Hope the rash disappears in short order. Now I have to think about why having to replace an alternator is a good thing to happen on Friday.
Jamies last blog post..100 Things
The need to replace it could have happened on Sunday–with no stores open? Does that work>
Yep, I’m voting for chemical burns, too. Use up that Aloe… although I managed to kill some. Took most of a PA winter, but I have a manageable amount of aloe again. (And go figure, but I miss how they’d looked in those planters on my porch)
I wanted to let you know, babe, that I had to move my blog to http://blog.westofmars.com. Update your links and feeds and stuff and come play with me! I miss you!
Susan Helene Gottfrieds last blog post..BTT: 5 Favorites
Got the changes done. I miss visiting, too. To kill my aloe, though, I think I’ll have to beat it with a stick.
It will work.
I managed not to keep an aloe plant alive years back… so they must really be attached to you! I can keep Mother-in-law tongues going, however… probably in both senses of the word…
Marcias last blog post..Only the Good Friday
I’m terrible with plants. My mother once moved her precious plants into my bedroom to make room for a family party and in that short amount of time (okay, at least four months…) I managed to single handedly bring every single one of them to the brink of death-including the cactus. My mother was able to revive all but a few…but I learned an important lesson. I should never be responsible for another plants life. And now I’m trying to come up with a way to convince my mother that I really do not need an offspring of the plant that someone gave her when I was born.
Well, let’s see…the good in that would be that your Momma won’t make you take care of the plants again
Have a great day.
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