“Ewww!” my friend moaned, as she wrinkled her nose in disgust. “Those are a fungus! I’m not going to eat them. Lips that touch mushrooms will never touch mine! ”
“Good thing I wasn’t going to kiss you,” I answered as I continued to munch my mushrooms. “If you won’t eat them, that leaves more for me!”
“You know, of course,” said my husband, “that they grow those mushrooms in horse manure.”
“Oh, poo,” I sneered. Mr. Tucker is always trying to inject scatological humor into a conversation. But, this wasn’t funny! He was trying to get me to fork over my mushrooms! “You’re lying,” I cried. “It says right on the box that they are grown in a ’sterile growth medium,’ and I believe them.”
Turns out that Mr. Tucker was right — again! He’s always right, but don’t tell him I said so. The man is a fountain of useless information. If you want trivia, go to him; he will entertain you for hours.
I discovered the awful truth last week when I went to visit the Monterrey Mushroom Farm, near Madisonville, Texas. Though it is waaaay out in the country, I didn’t have any trouble finding the place — I just followed my nose. You could smell it a mile and a half away (I don’t know how folks live near there!). Yep. It was definitely horse manure I was smelling.
I had hoped to get to take a tour of the farm, but I couldn’t get past the guard shack. I guess I had a “wild” look in my eyes, after telling stories to teenagers all day. They must have thought I was an international terrorist intent upon stealing state secrets about sterile growth mediums, or something.
The “farm” looked like nothing more than a huge factory to me. But it smelled almost as bad as a pig farm I once visited. That didn’t stop me from buying two pounds of porcini mushrooms for $2.50. If you are in that neck of the woods and like mushrooms, hold your nose and go for a visit. Stop at the guard shack and you will get a good deal on mushrooms.
Folks, two pounds of mushrooms is a lot for two people. I’ve been trying every recipe I could imagine to use those mushrooms. My favorite, of course, is one I’ve posted before for Carmelized Mushrooms.
Nutritionists say that mushrooms only have 28 calories and zero fat per cup. That’s before someone like me gets hold of them.
I tried some new recipes this week. I decided to drown some mushrooms in port wine and simmer them in the crock pot. I figured that it would be good, since I love mushrooms and port wine. I was wrong; it was a waste of wine.
But, I’ve had other successes. This week at my house mushrooms have been used in stew, pasta, and a chinese stir fry. I was running out of ideas, so I even gave some away. If you had been here with a paper bag, you could have gotten some, too.
Fortunately, Michelle at Bleeding Espresso posted Steak and Porcini Mushroom Recipe for me to try today. It looks delicious, but it calls for dried mushrooms. I’m going to use mushrooms fresh from the manure from which they sprang.
Now, don’t let the fact that mushrooms are grown in horse manure stop you from eating them! The white button mushrooms that you can buy at the store are filled with “conjugated linoleic acid.” Those high-falutin’ words mean that mushrooms protect us against having high levels of estrogen (linked to breast cancer). I wonder if they have studied whether mushrooms help with menopause? If they could prove that those mushrooms would be flying off the shelves, don’t y’all think?
But, take my advice and wash them well. Experts say that you should just “brush” the mushrooms before cooking them. You don’t soak them in water, because they “drink” water just like a sponge. That’s what the “experts” say. But, I wash mine very well, anyway! Have y’all ever seen those itty-bitty black flecks that cling to the mushrooms?
“Sterile growth medium,” my eye!
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{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
I guess drowning them in salad dressing defeats the purpose of a nice low cal meal… oh well… how about in stroganoff, I could go for that too. Or spaghetti sauce…
carol gs last blog post..Manic Monday ~ WEAR
LoL…you crack me UP!!
Actually, I wish I *did* live closer, I’d stop by for a bag of them ’shrooms! (heck, who am I kiddin’? I’d be hangin’ out on your fronch porch, anyway!
…always your faithful stalker…LoL)
You and my guy, with the “washin’ um reaaaal good”; ya know, the chef’s *do* say…(and, like my great grandma used to say, “a little dirts good for ya!”
)
Have a great day (hey! Are they big enough to make ‘reverse’ pizza’s out of?! Yummm!)
Mos last blog post..Mo Thunked
Nah, no pizza here, those ’shrooms are itty bitty. You’d be welcome on my porch, and I’d gladly send you away with mushrooms…but I might not send you away! I don’t care what your grandma said, Mo, I’m washing those mushrooms. We aren’t talking “dirt” here—we are talking “horse manure,” and there’s folks who say I am already full of that
OMG I have mushrooms over at my “place” too today! Although not the eating kind, the “I cannot believe mushrooms come in that color, what kind of drugs must I be on” kind.
And you won’t catch me eating a mushroom either.
More for you!!!!!
anna l’americanas last blog post..A fungus among us…..
You’ve got mushrooms, too? I can only say, “Great minds run along the same track.” Let’s hope we don’t get de-railed. You don’t eat mushrooms???? Again, “that leaves more for me.”
Mushrooms are delicious! I just saw an episode of 30 minute meals in which Rachael Ray was talking about how she can’t believe people when they say that they don’t like mushrooms since there are just so many different types.
Personally I love them in breakfast foods (skillet scrambles, omelets) as well as for a nice mushroom sauce over steak.
Derek Wongs last blog post..Finishing Up
There are some mushrooms that I’d prefer not to use, Derek. For some reason, I don’t like the oyster mushrooms much. I like them in breakfast food, too. I fantasize about a breakfast cereal that has bacon and mushrooms in it…:twisted:
I love them too despite the origin. Love them dearly.
Have a terrific day.
Comedy Pluss last blog post..Three Million and Counting
Come on over, then…cause we may need some help finishing these! I don’t think they would freeze very well, and I’ve about got mushrooms coming out my ears (folks say I’m full of that “sterile growth medium” I mentioned…):lol:
We go mushroom hunting every spring for Morrell
Mushrooms. They are my favorite. Grilled Portabellas come in second.
I can’t even imagine who would have been the first person to try eating mushrooms. They are pretty weird. I mean the idea of eating a fungus!
Sheila Atwoods last blog post..MacDonalds, Apple, Nike and You
Morrells are about fourth for me, but I bet if I had them fresh I’d like them better. Usually, I find them dried, so I know they’ve lost “something.”
The first person who ate them didn’t know they were a fungus! You crack me up.
Oh Shelly… you crack me up! I too am a mushroom lover. Really, though. Please don’t wash your mushrooms. One “rubs” mushrooms; gently brushing off the “sterile growth medium”. Just think, all the yummy organic veggies in my garden are sucking up poo juice through their roots. There’s no washing that off. LMAO!
Thornes last blog post..Happy Valentine’s Day – On Love
You can’t make me not wash my mushrooms! I’m already F.O.S., so to speak.
You know I love mushrooms!!! I can’t even begin to think about those black flecks!
Just wash the flecks off, Susie! They probably wouldn’t hurt you, but it will sure kill your appetite