Taken To The Cleaners

The motion has been made and seconded: I have to give up sweating and dribbling.

This was put to a vote in The House after a trip to the dry cleaners. It wasn’t a trillion dollar bailout — but it felt like it! I took my favorite sweater (bought on a trip to San Francisco) to the local dry cleaners and it brought to mind that phrase: “Taken to the cleaners,” meaning “to cause to lose all or a great deal of one’s money or personal property.” It cost $5 just to clean that red sweater.

Now $5 might seem like no big deal, and I’m not good in math, but let me consider this: If a sweater cost $60 to buy, and I dry clean it once a month from October to March (6 months) at $5 a pop ($30)…then after one year that sweater has cost me $90. Hmmm. Before a year is out, that becomes a pretty expensive sweater!

Now, admittedly I don’t go to the dry cleaners often. It’s not that I don’t have clothes with labels that say “Dry Clean Only.” I do, but I don’t wear my glasses often because I can never find them. Since I can’t see past the end of my nose, which is not as long as it looks in my picture, I wind up actually washing a lot of clothes that should go to the dry cleaner. I’ve rarely had anything destroyed because of it, although there was my husband’s favorite black wool turtleneck (he looked so good in it) — I gave it to my niece’s “Ken” doll because it shrank that much. It looks good on Ken, too.

Usually, I use the “dry cleaning kit” that I got at the grocery store. I put the clothing in a big bag with a cleaning cloth and tumble it in the dryer. But, that only works for so long before it needs to get professionally cleaned.

I groused about my dry cleaning bill to my hairdresser, and she said, “Oh, I spend $35 a week on dry cleaning because I clean my blue jeans. It makes them last longer and I like the crease when they iron them.”

Do what?

If you want a crease in your blue jeans, you can buy pant stretchers, for Heaven’s sake! The first time you squat, they are going to be wrinkled anyway. And, how long do you really want those blue jeans to last? I’ve got some that I’ve been wearing for six years or more (throwing them in the washer every week), and they look just fine to me.

Now, I’m not trying to run dry cleaners out of business. Lord knows those people need a job, too. However, I don’t want to give them my money.

Several things I’m thinking about to keep from having to support my local dry cleaner:

1. Look at the tags before I fall in love with the garment. If consumers don’t buy products that need dry cleaning, maybe the manufacturer’s will start using more practical fabrics?
2. Remember to examine these dry cleaning tips from Consumer Reports. Many things that say they are “Dry Clean” can be safely washed by hand (of course, the manufacturer is not liable if it fits Barbie when you wash it).
3. Wear an undergarment with those fragile clothes (because I probably won’t be able to stop sweating).
4. Stop dribbling. That I can control—usually.

I think I’ll be a much happier camper if I just stick to wash and wear. Low maintenance … that’s what I like. Do y’all use the dry cleaners regularly? If so, I hope you air out the clothing. The conventional method uses perchloroethylene …and that stuff is as bad as it sounds!

What do you do to extend the time between visits to the dry cleaners — other than control your sweating and keeping dribbling to a minimum?

Other posts you might enjoy:

1. Wear Clean Underwear
2. A Moisturizing Treatment, Aerobic Workout, AND A Sparkling Bathroom
3. Fall Overhaul
4. Holy Cow-I Love It! Only The Good Friday.
5. Cleaning For A Reason

Tagged as: dry cleaning, household, humor