My Inner Artist Is Not A Cheap Date

Do y’all ever read “self help books?” I’ve got shelves filled with them, and I occasionally crack them open. I usually don’t read them all the way through. It isn’t that I don’t need help, but I seem to expect that I will absorb them by osmosis or something.

Many years ago, a friend of mine gave me a book called The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron, which was supposed to “waken my inner artist.” My friend was trying to convince me I am an artist, though I persisted in believing I’m a “craftsman.” I read the book and followed the course the author outlined for a few weeks. But, then there was a week we weren’t supposed to read anything, and I thought “to heck with that noise.” I put the book down and forgot about it.

One thing I did take away from it though, was the idea of an “artist date.” Cameron recommended that you set aside a time for yourself each week when you could go out alone and just feed your inner artist. You are supposed to do something fun. You can go to a park and just feed the pigeons if you want. Or, you can go to an art gallery or go shoot a game of pool or whatever blows your dress up.

Although I like the idea of it, I rarely take the time to have a date with my “inner artist”. I call her my “Muse,” and that Muse of mine has an attitude. This afternoon I took her on a “date”. I discovered that my inner artist is not a “cheap date.”

The Muse and I went to a new coffeehouse in town (but don’t tell anybody!). I felt like a traitor to my beloved Jupiter House. Jupiter House is where I go each day to get my morning pick-me-up. It’s a place that has the feel of that bar in the television show, “Cheers.” Do y’all remember it? Everybody knows your name at Jupiter House. The mocha at this new place was not as good, it’s pricey, and I won’t be going back there no matter what The Muse says.

But, that inner artist of mine wanted to try the new place, and the day was for her after all. We crept in the front door just as sneaky as a fox stealing eggs in the henhouse. I know those folks thought I was going to carry out a painting in my purse.

Then, we went to the Denton Visual Arts Center to see an art show at the galleries. Do y’all ever go to see modern art? Sometimes I like it, and sometimes my inner artist laughs her butt off at what is considered “art.” I don’t have any pictures to show you (because I didn’t want my iPhone confiscated), but you probably didn’t want to see it anyway.

The winner of this particular show was a teapot on spider’s legs with a wad of hair for an “underbelly.” It was called “Arachne’s Teapot,” and the judge gave the artist a rather large monetary award for it. Go figure. My inner artist and I were not impressed.

I was trying to keep my mouth shut about it, but my inner artist sneered out loud, “What in Thunder? What the heck good is that thang?” [she talks with a Texas twang] She said, “You cain’t put that dadburn thang on a stove to make a pot of tea, and it’s ugly as sin! Where’s a flyswat?”

You can’t take her anywhere!

There was a man on the other side of the gallery who snickered when he heard her say that. Thank God it wasn’t the artist who made the ugly contraption!

I didn’t have to drag my Muse out of the museum; she was ready to go. Then, she started clamoring to go to the movies. I swear if you give her an inch then she’ll take a mile!

We went to see Milk. If you have not seen it, don’t wait until it comes out on dvd! It is magnificent, and to tell the truth I didn’t like Sean Penn much until I saw him portray Harvey Milk in this movie. My inner artist started bawling halfway into the show. We almost choked on the twenty-five (count ‘em: 25) M & Ms that we paid $3.50 to eat!

My “inner artist” needs to go back to sleep, or I’m gonna go broke! I just hope that Muse of mine is happy, because she emptied out my wallet! If she wants another date with me, next time she is going to have to foot the bill.

Now, I know that some of you who have kids at home never get any time alone. Heck, when you have toddlers, you don’t even get to go to the bathroom alone. If you took your “inner artist” on a date, what would you go out and do?

Other posts you might enjoy:

1. Starving Texas Artist Could Win $50,000 Huntington Art Prize
2. Another Artist For Me To Love: Sissel
3. Hoodoo Cat
4. Original Sin
5. American Masterpieces Program

Tagged as: Artsy Fartsy Stuff, Milk, movies