Black, White, And Read All Over

Local newspaper a boring read

Mr. Tucker finds our little old daily newspaper to be a boring read. Or, maybe he just couldn’t find his glasses.

I’ve taken a break from the internet for a few days, because Mr. Tucker had some vacation time. Supposedly it was in honor of my birthday. If the truth is told, it was because he works for a company that forced him to take his vacation time — while requiring him to work extra hours for no pay. Go figure! But, he has a job, doggone it — and that’s a good thing.

We traipsed around our neck of the woods on some day trips, but mostly we satisfied ourselves with hanging out at the house. We had plenty of time to do simple things like read the newspaper. Or, not.

Although my husband thinks our daily rag is boring, personally, I think it is anything but! I heard a bunch of sirens the other day, and never would have known that we had a robbery down at Zoom Zoom’s without that “Police Blotter” in our newspaper.

I told y’all about Zoom Zoom’s convenience store and even showed you a picture. It’s made out of petrified wood, and is one of our more “colorful” establishments here in Denton. Some idiot robber broke down a glass door, because the clerk was petrified and locked it. The thief came there “allegedly to make good on a promise to be back after he robbed the store three weeks ago.” He didn’t get anything (except caught), because breaking the door locked down the cash register.

But, I don’t just read the front page. I like the classified ads. Yep. You have to dig deep in that paper to find the good stuff. For instance, there’s somebody around here who is trying to sell “200 broken Arrowheads from Texas” for $300. Anybody need any? I’ll give you his number, but I think he’s trying to “stick it to you.”

You can read St. Patrick’s Day Greetings from one person to another. With my luck, somebody would send me a greeting on the day I used the paper for my coffee grounds before I read it. I don’t know why in the world they can’t just text the greetings.

Then, in the “Lost and Found,” there was a notice that somebody found a dog near the TWU campus. It was a “Female, 76 lb., St Bernard/Red Healer [sic] mix w/micro-chip belonging to a gray cat.” No wonder the poor dog got lost! That has to be one confused canine! And, Mr. Tucker wondered, “Were they trying to save money by recycling the micro-chip, or did that dog recently eat a gray cat?”

My favorite ad this week was in the “Employment” section. I’m not lying, the ad said: “A Denton/Collin County Company is looking to train 7 high energy people to replace 11 no energy people!” I don’t think I’d want that job. Obviously, that employer is working them too hard to give those people coffee breaks. He surely doesn’t let them blog at work.

Now, who could fall asleep reading exciting things like that? And, what in the world will we do if the newspapers go the way of Tyrannosaurus Rex? I need my newspaper … I don’t want my news from the internet! Face it, you can’t sprawl out and read with a computer — and Mr. Tucker would look as silly as heck with a laptop spread out on his face.

And, if there are no newspapers — how will I start a fire? What will I use to shine my windows? How will kids in small towns make the floats for their homecoming parades? And, what will we put in the bottom of the bird cages? How would kids ever know the answer to the riddle: “What’s black, and white, and read all over?” I shudder to think.

So, do y’all read the newspapers? If so, what section do you read first? Go grab your local paper and see if you can discover silly advertisements like the one in the Denton Record Chronicle.

  4 comments for “Black, White, And Read All Over

  1. annmarie
    March 9, 2009 at 9:49 pm

    Funny you should mention it. We just decided yesterday to let our local newspaper subscription expire. About 6 months ago we started getting it in the mail instead of carrier. It’s in the mailbox by 9 a.m. – so when do you think that news was printed – right – the day before! πŸ™„ So now we get our Sunday paper in the mail on Saturday!! So the Sunday news is from Friday!!! How lame is that? 😑 And when there is a holiday – you guessed it – no mail so no paper – so we get 2 in the mailbox the next day.:evil: To make matters worse, it was just announced that the local presses are being shut down (6 jobs lost) and the paper will now be printed 100 miles away!! And then put in the mail!! So when do you think THAT news will be from πŸ˜• πŸ˜• πŸ˜• Good grief…………..

    πŸ˜† I’mona have to take the smileys away from YOU! See what happens when the newspaper goes away? JOBS go away. Jobs for people who write…EEK! I can understand why you don’t want old news, though. I’m getting where I don’t want ANY news, thank you.

  2. March 9, 2009 at 9:57 pm

    We don’t buy the paper anymore. It got to expensive for a “fire starter” (-: I read online. Usually just the happening news(-: Somedays I read the Obits too(-:

    On-line news doesn’t have anything much more cheery. And, you can’t start a fire with the computer—or can you?

  3. March 9, 2009 at 10:45 pm

    I still have a subscription to our local “daily” newspaper -daily but without a Sunday publication. For a Sunday paper, I venture out or bribe my daughter or sometimes, my son, to drive up to the grocery store, 4 miles from here, to get me a Sunday paper from the town in the next county over -whic rarely, if ever, publishes anything at all about this area where I live. But then again, the Daily paper rarely ever covers anything about this corner of the county where I live either! Something that totally pisses me off there is how both these papers want people who live here to subscribe but yet, when it comes to coverage of things happening around here, they act like we don’t exist. Actually, I worked for the local paper -as a staff writer/reporter -for about 7 weeks. They fired me mainly cause I couldn’t get the difference between active and passive voice clear in my head. (I was not a journalism or an English major in college -Rehab Ed was my field and they knew I knew nothing about writing, per se, when they hired me too!) Anyway, the woman who was my boss -a journalism major -told me when I grumped to her about the paper’s lack of coverage in the region of the county where I live that “Well, hell Jen, those people down there are illiterate, can’t read anyway, ya know!” You know what I wanted to do to her, don’t ‘cha?
    I read our local rag mainly to check the obits -see if my name is there -reports on the school board meetings, township supervisors meeting once a month and anything else that looks appealing but ost evenings our paper is, as my daughter and I refer to it -“A very quick scan.” Any copy that takes us longer than five minutes to leaf through is a big event to us! But would I quit reading the newspaper? Hell, no! I still get it if for nothing else besides the obits and Dear Abby, to read other things and that toss barbs back and forth with my daughter about what jackasses some people are. Then the paper gets tossed in the pile for fire-starter for the son-in-law and the woodburner!

    Jeni Hill Ertmers last blog post..No Middle Ground

    Gosh, if you see your name in the obits, you will be just like Marcus Garvey. Wasn’t his actual death caused by reading his obituary???? Don’t find yours, ok?

  4. Mo
    March 11, 2009 at 6:29 am

    Sounds like your mister works for the same company my mister works for! πŸ™„

    We both read the local paper, but we don’t subscribe; usually we just buy Sunday’s edition. I, on the other hand, am enthralled with our local news TV stations…of course, the mister says that’s not “news” so much as “entertainment”, but like you & your paper, I glean A LOT of useful info from there!

    Glad to hear you guys enjoyed a relaxing weekend, and that you had a Happy Birthday; Hope the rest of the week is just as good!!

    Mos last blog post..To thine own self

    The Sunday paper has so many ads that it irritates me. But our local newspaper started bagging all the leaflets together in a plastic bag so you can toss it straight to the recycle bin! Our local news stations bombard us with gloom & doom, and at the end usually put some perky little piece of fluff. I’d rather read the paper and skip to what I want to read! Like silly want ads.

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