There are some bloggers who go to great lengths to hide their true identities on their blogs. They give themselves strange names and create silly pseudonyms for all of their family members. I chose not to do that when I began blogging, because as a professional storyteller I already had an “online presence.” More publicity couldn’t hurt, as long as it is the right kind. I don’t censor out my name.
However, my family didn’t choose to be on a public blog, although some of them have no objection. For that reason, you don’t hear about some of my family members by name (although they are great blog fodder), and I only tell you the things about me that I don’t mind if you know.
Because of some of the charity ideas I’ve had on the blog you can easily find my name, one of my addresses, my email address, and (if you look hard enough) my phone number. In fact, one spammer took the time to send me an e-mail with my address in it to tell me that a certain “Mr. Tucker” had passed away leaving ME an inheritance. All I had to do was email back to him to get that. As much as I’d love some free money, I’m only a “Tucker” by marriage (and only that for the last six years). I wonder where in Nigeria this “Mr. Tucker” lived?
I tell you all this, because I am currently at war with my “inner censor.” Although I have been told by those who know that being “controversial” brings traffic to your blog, I have no wish to offend. My Momma brought me up giving me mixed messages:
- I’m supposed to state my mind,
- but I’m not supposed to offend people.
Sometimes there is no way to do both.
For days, I’ve struggled with a post that is sorta funny, but I think it would make my more conservative readers bristle. My inner censor says, “NO, don’t write that.” But, the rest of me says, “If you don’t talk about that part of your life, you are denying people you love.” I don’t know who is going to win the battle.
I wanted to tell you about our trip this weekend to play “Gaybingo.”
See what I mean? I just heard some of you gasp. And, I heard that thought that went through your mind, “Is Shelly gaaaaay?”
My first thought to answer you would be, “Does it maaaatter?” However, because I am polite, I would tell you, “I am what the GLBT Community calls an ‘Ally’.” That means that I support their right to be exactly who they are. I support their right to equal rights.
Indeed, I support YOUR right to be exactly who YOU are. Some of you may have scrolled down my sidebar and seen this “bloggy bumper sticker.” It needs to take a more prominent place on my blog. I also need an elephant and a donkey on it.
You see, I don’t care about your politics, your skin color, your religion, or your sexuality. That’s your business. What do I care about? Are you kind-hearted? Do you have a sense of humor? Do you have a brain in your noggin’? Then, we will get along just fine. If you are not those things, then I will do my darnedest to be tolerant and respectful of your right to be exactly who you are. If you don’t get in my face, I won’t be getting in yours.
That said, I still haven’t decided if I am going to post about “Gaybingo,” though I have pictures of drag queens and everything. My Inner Censor is just kicking up a fuss. You’ll know who wins as soon as I do.
[Editor's note: The Inner Censor lost the battle. I posted about Gaybingo. I also made my friend, Thorne, cry (although I didn't mean to do that!) She posted about it at Thorne's World.]
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{ 13 comments }
Oh man, you can’t toss something as fabulous sounding as Gaybingo out there and then not follow up! Come on Shelly – the suspense may very well kill me, and you know you’d hate to be responsible for that!
Well, I knew that you would be up for hearing about it, because you aren’t a “conservative.”
If I don’t post it, I’ll send you and e-mail with pictures 
.
Amen!! AMEN, AMEN!!!!
I have this *same* dialogue in my own head…I thought maybe it was just ME…’Course, I’m not a storyteller, and I’m certainly not an active “do-gooder” like YOU, with your Share-a-square and “good medicine’ bags (altho, I AM still planning on making those runes; I just need to get the clay!), but I too wonder about how much info is TOO much info…I try to call all my friends and family by their initial, or some cutsie title (like, the mister), but – honestly – I don’t have the memory or the inclination to remember a bunch of pseudonyms for myself…Hell, I’m lucky I can remember the REAL names, some days!
Yup…the “private vs. public info” line is sometimes a hard one to see…it’s kinda blurry in places…
(on a different note –
I also had NO IDEA *we* had a “title” in the GLBT community)…I’m kinda partial to the quote “If you don’t agree with gay marriage, don’t get one…”
Mos last blog post..New Day Dawn
First, yes *we* are “Allies.” Second, yes the lines are blurry. That’s where being a storyteller comes into play (and you are TOO a storyteller…you do that every day). Though the stories I tell you are true I sometimes “embroider” them. No, “embroider” isn’t the word–I don’t necessarily add–I take away parts to which I do not want strangers to be privy. It’s a dance, sometimes, isn’t it?
I chose a more anonymous blogging style because of the types of posts that I know I’m best at writing. Rantastic, you know. Since most of the people who are capable of sending me into a rant are more of the acquaintance variety or people I have no choice but to deal with, I decided it might be more beneficial to protect their identities so that I could rant freely.
I read somewhere that no matter what you say, at least 2% of people will find it offensive. It seems there’s no way around it. I agree with Robin!!! If you decide not to post it, put me on your mailing list
Jessica The Rock Chicks last blog post..This Is How It Works (My Neck Of The Woods)
I understand perfectly why YOU would choose to blog anonymously. I understand it for most people who don’t even rant. What you say gets put out into the blogging Universe, and it can come back to bite you in the butt. Yes, there are going to be people offended by me. I guess my main concern has been that I’ve got a readership … but I haven’t told them that much about the fact that I’m pretty doggone liberal about human rights. If they are going to the trouble to read, I don’t want to offend them. It’s that “Southern thang.”
But, here’s the other thing…
Don’t you think though, that one’s politics, ones race, and religious beliefs and sexual orientation ARE what we are? I mean, you would HAVE to care about/ talk about these issues in the course of using the “brain in your noggin’”, as you so aptly stated; when we blog about our weekend plans at the “church”, or the “hemp festival” we went to over the weekend with our “significant other”, our whole lives are sort of wrapped up in those issues that are “touchy” for some…how DOES one blog interestingly, without raising those issues that alienate some section of society?
(Sorry to ramble on here – not once, but twice! – this is just a very interesting topic to me, and your post got my gears up and running this morning!)
Mos last blog post..New Day Dawn
Strange names and silly pseudonyms- you cut me deep! Guilty!
Yes, post about the Gaybingo! What’s the big deal? This is the 21st century! But I can relate, living in Idaho, there are a lot of backward folks here, and I imagine Texas is just the same. Glad to hear you aren’t one of the narrow minded crowd, though I already had an inkling because you have a great big open heart
Sarahs last blog post..Living in the Moment
EEK! Of course I wasn’t talking about you! “Err…ummm…sorry,” she mumbles. I guess the “big deal” is that fear of offending folks. Maybe it’s not such a big deal?
I never gave a second thought to writing my blog anonymously, therefore my name’s been out there since the first post. There are times now that I think maybe I shouldn’t have done that, or maybe I shouldn’t have written this or that post or used some of my stronger language in the process too. But I did and the blog is what it is.
But, because I am open about my identity, it has caused me to NOT post several stories, some that would be really great, and one in particular that would be a fine “teaching” post about parenting. The latter one I would gladly share with another blogger, let that person write it as their own because that way, the parties involved, should they read it someday, would not know it was written about them but rather it would be about oh, someone else’s neighbors, not mine. But until something like that happens, it’s gonna stay in the recesses of my mind.
As to the GayBingo -my opinion there, for whatever it’s worth -is to go for it! It might be controversial to some I suppose but also, because you have a reputation for writing/handling things of a sensitive nature in a sensitive manner, and because too, this is a subject that can always use some common sense approach to better educating the public, you might just be a very good conduit to do that! There’s still so much ignorance that exists in our society about Gay/Lesbian stuff, diversity still very, very lacking so I’m all for trying to provide more understanding as opposed to sweeping stuff under the rug. Ok -off my soapbox now -but wanted to tell you I, for one, would welcome a post of that nature cause I know you would handle it in the very best way possible. CHeers and Peace. Have a great day!
Jeni Hill Ertmers last blog post..Playtime!
I want to hear about gaybingo, so if you don’t blog it here – blog it somewhere and share the link in “Chatter” please.
Also, from the looks of your comments, maybe your readers aren’t as shockable as you first thought?
Denises last blog post..My girls
You just go ahead and post away. Anybody who doesn’t know you by now and has a negative reaction, isn’t someone you want hanging around anyway. If you lose them as a reader, you lose them. I’m in the “ally” class myself, but even if I weren’t, you would be high on my list of
generous, kind people on the planet that it is a pleasure to know.
Jamies last blog post..Do The Right Thing
You are too kind, Jamie (and I wasn’t worried about you anyway).:wink: YOU just wanna see the drag queens…:twisted:
Were you worried about me, Red?!!
Muahaha! We loves us some allies in Thorne’s World! And Gaybingo sounds like a hoot no matter who you are!! Give, girrrrl!
Thornes last blog post..Most High and Holy Empress of the Universe (Known and Unknown)
I’m “worried” about you, cause you are nuttier than I am! OK. Y’all are convincing me.
Oh go ahead and post it, it sounds like fun. I’m beginning to see that being conservative means different things in different countries. America’s form of conservatism is miles apart from mine. I have no problems with differences in human beings, its just the way things are. And yes, I am a conservative minded person with a very open mind. Way different than American republicans…ciao
rosittas last blog post..Highway of Heroes
I like that you have an open mind. Being conservative about politics is one thing…I think we sometimes confuse “morals” and “politics” around here. Maybe “morals” isn’t the word I want. I’m lost for a word.
I’m always chickening out of writing posts that I think will offend. Which is ironic because the posts I do put out have managed to offend people on so many occasions that I finally thought to myself, maybe I have a messed up definition of what it means to offend. And you totally left me hanging by not telling me what Gaybingo is.
Rileys last blog post..A Typical Day in my House
See, I was looking at you as one of the bloggers who are brave enough to speak their minds…I guess we all have an inner censor, and they all are a bit different. Aw, I’m gonna tell ya.
you are so blessed to have an inner censor- i am not
my ‘screen name’ is no mystery to many- it’s my initials essentially- bet- linked with my husband given nick name- bitchymo 
hence- betmo. i have a blurb on my sidebar by dr. seuss-
“be who you are and say what you feel, because those who matter don’t mind and those who mind don’t matter.”
and my blog’s name is life’s journey and that’s what i am on. wrapping up this ramble- post however you want and feel comfortable doing. you are the person who has to look at you in the mirror
I feel the same way. I try to get along with everyone. As long as they are not preaching to me then I am fine with whatever(-: I don’t censor my blog either. I don’t talk much about my family except to mention a quick blurp. I don’t give them cute little names either. Usually I just say my daugher, son or husband.(-: The blog is about what I am doing not about what they are doing (-: Well except sometimes(-:
cindees last blog post..Wordless Wednesday
If they preach to you, you could delete their comments…just sayin’
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