A Ditty For Idiot Drivers

We were trying to mitigate our road rage last weekend, as we continuously encountered really stupid drivers. Texas does not have a monopoly on dumb drivers, but because there are a lot of people in the state, it seems like we have more than our fair share. So, my husband and I wrote a little song for those goofballs set to the tune of “Jingle Bells.” Feel free to sing along [note: If you don’t know what a “dingle berry” is, please look it up before you teach this to your kids.]:

Cruising down the lanes
In your beat-up Chevrolet
I see you have no brains
‘Cause you’re texting all the way.
Please put down the phone
You’re going to cause a wreck!
And then the cars will all slow down
For they have to “rubber neck.”

Oh, Dingle berries, Dingle berries,
Swerving ‘cross two lanes.
It’s no fun
To get behind one
Who’s driving with no brains.
Hey!
Dingle berries, Dingle berries,
Swerving ‘cross two lanes.
It’s no fun
To get behind one
Who’s driving with no brains.
Hey!

We thought we’d take a ride
A day or two ago.
We got behind a car
That was driving very slow.
We tried to go around
He then, of course, sped up
And when we got in front
He rode right on our butt.

Oh, Dingle berries, Dingle berries,
Swerving ‘cross two lanes.
It’s no fun
To get behind one
Who’s driving with no brains.
Hey!
Dingle berries, Dingle berries,
Swerving ‘cross two lanes.
It’s no fun
To get behind one
Who’s driving with no brains.
Hey!

  7 comments for “A Ditty For Idiot Drivers

  1. April 29, 2009 at 12:09 pm

    Great song. (-: We have those drivers in CA too but now its against the law to text while driving! Imagine that!!!! The nerve of those law makers!
    What really cracks me up is they banned talking on your phone first!!!!!! So it was not ok to talk on the phone while driving but it was O.K. to text??? Can you believe that?
    We have had serious accidents in our area because of texting. But I am sure there are still those who do it. They just don’t get caught.
    You can talk with an ear piece.
    I hate my cell phone. I wish I could run it over with my car! It is worthless!!!! The battery lasts maybe 5 mins tops. I can’t get a new one till Sept. and I am not paying full price for one so I have to wait and just keep charging my old one up every day. Aren’t cell phones fun? Not!!!

  2. April 29, 2009 at 1:17 pm

    I’m going to take a wild guess (as I’m new to your blog) and assume you’re living either in or around Houston. Ahhh my home town. There’s nothing in the world like Houston drivers. I love your song!

  3. April 29, 2009 at 4:21 pm

    πŸ˜› OMG I am going to have this one on my mind when I am driving down the canyon. I even have the tune figured out.

    You are toooo funny.

    Sheila

    Sheila Atwoods last blog post..The Fear Pandemic

  4. April 30, 2009 at 9:44 am

    LOVE IT! Living in Massachusetts, where the drivers here are called “Mass – holes” (yeah, so creative), I think I’ll have to memorize this song.

    OOOH, better yet, your husband and you should record it, you’d make a MINT! πŸ˜‰

  5. May 1, 2009 at 11:10 am

    I know I could hang out with you and the infamous Mr. Tucker day in and day out and constantly have a great time. Dingle-Berry! LOL This would be a hit. These drivers are everywhere!!!

    I don’t know why but the “swervin’ cross two lanes” line really cracked me up.

    Jessica The Rock Chicks last blog post..June Is Bustin’ Out All Over

    • May 1, 2009 at 11:11 am

      Ummm… if you had been there when they swerved across two lanes, it MIGHT have “cracked you up.” Literally 😈

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