My Muse Assures Me That Grief Is Good

[Editor’s note: If you have been here before, you might know that my Muse is just ONE of the voices that talk regularly in my head. This isn’t our first conversation. The Muse is a bit childish. She loves to play dress up, go out and play or shop, eat chocolate, guzzle triple-shot mochas, and snarf up bacon. Sometimes she is abusive, but always she is cantankerous. Without her, I cannot write. We had an argument this morning, and she has won it. She knows what is “good” for me.]

Come on, Muse. You have to wake up now. We have to write.
Go away. I’m sad.
I know you are; I am too. But, we have to write an Only The Good post for Friday. We can write about medicine bags. You like to write about medicine bags for children with cancer, and we have a lot of new ones to show.
We don’t either! Thorne is going to write about medicine bags tomorrow. I miss La La. Can’t you let me rest?
You know what they say. We have to keep just putting one foot in front of the other and keep going. I miss Laura, too.
You don’t show it! You think you have to “suck it up,” but it would be better just to cry. All you Cumbies think you have to be so stoic. Can’t we go cry?
First we have to write. If we write about something “good” it will help spread an optimism virus on the internet.
Nothing feels good right now. I think I have swine flu. You know how I got it, don’t you? This was fun.

How swine flu is transmitted.

EWWWW! STOP IT! There is NOTHING funny about swine flu. It’s serious stuff.
Go on and admit it was funny, wasn’t it?
Ok, it was funny, but you stole that from the viral e-mail that Mary Ann sent you.
I told you I thought I had a virus.
If you are feeling well enough to be silly, you can write. It’s our job.
What do you mean “job?” Blogging doesn’t pay the bills, and I just want to grieve. We are burying La La today. We need to grieve. We need to cry. Grief is “good.” Can’t we just give in to it?
You’re right, but we do have some obligations. I’ll make a deal with you: let’s put together just a simple post for Friday, and write our guest post for Steve. You already have that mostly written. Then we’ll grieve.
I’ve got a better idea. I’ll write your guest post, and you can let this one sit here until I can think. Then, I’ll go back to work. That’s final.
You win. We’ll do whatever you want
I want to sit in the rain and cry and scream and let the tears be washed away. Can we do that?
We can do that.
I want to think about La La when she was a little girl and look at some of her pictures. Can we do that?
We’ll do that, too.
And, I want to write a story about La La so that Mason will know about his aunt. He’s only just been born and he’s never going to know her. She was so excited about being an aunt. Can we write a story for Mason?
We’ll write a story.
Can La La be a princess in the story? The laughing princess? And, can she be a dancing, laughing princess and wear a tutu? And, can she be a dancing laughing princess in a tutu with sparkles in her hair? And, can she be a dancing laughing princess in a …
Sure, sure — whatever you want.
But, wait … she liked playing like a witch, too! She always said, “I have flying monkees and I’m not afraid to use them.’ Would she want to be a witch? Which will I choose?
It will come to you. Let’s write what we have to get written for the blog, go sit in the rain and cry, and then you can write her story until it’s time to get ready for the funeral.
Can we dress like a pirate for the funeral?
Don’t push your luck.

flower divider

The Muse is correct. Grieving is “good,” and I am going to take care of business. I’m taking the time she needs to get back on track. Meanwhile, you can visit some of my friends who have joined me in posting Only The Good on Friday.


RV Poetry; Candid Karina; All My Great, or Not So Great Adventures; Inside Mo’s Mind; Thorne’s World; Down River Drivel; Duward Discussion; Ramblings of an Unstable Mind; Insightful Nana; Newbie Lifeline; Everyday Tarot; West of Mars; Life’s Journey; A Letter To Me; This Eclectic Life;

  16 comments for “My Muse Assures Me That Grief Is Good

  1. April 30, 2009 at 12:32 am

    I’m so sorry for your loss. Your family must be devastated.

    Much love to you Shelly, and I agree with your Muse – take the time you need to grieve. Without that, you can never start the healing process.

    You know, only the good can be something as simple as smiling at a bright sunny day or a new flower, knowing that Laura would have liked it.


    Robins last blog post..Happy Independence Day

  2. April 30, 2009 at 5:17 am

    I’m so very sorry for your loss. Kick, scream, and wail if you must to “get it all out.” Grief is a process, and one that many try to sweep under the rug.

    Thinking of you and sending you prayers and thoughts in this time of sorrow. (((((Hugs)))))

  3. April 30, 2009 at 7:13 am

    We lost our oldest daughter in June of 1991, 18 years ago now. Grief, and sorrow, fill me daily. Sometimes I cry. I used to fight it and try to “get on” with life, but now I realize that it is part of me, part of who I am and why I do what I do. So is the American War in Vietnam that I was a part of. These things, the good ones and bad ones, make us who we are and I have learned that I must respond to them when they call. Your Muse helps you out, that’s good. My heart lets me know when attention is needed.
    Peace to you and all you hold dear.

    Spadomans last blog post..Batmo’s Chicken Barnyard

  4. April 30, 2009 at 8:06 am

    I’m so sorry for your loss and the devastating emotions that go with that. It’s awful to lose anyone, but someone so young is unbearable. My sister goes by the name “La La” too, and to my kids, she is “Auntie Lala”. When I read that on your previous post, my heart just broke for your family. Please know that all thoughts, hugs, prayers, wishes and everything we’ve got are with you all today!

    Jessica The Rock Chicks last blog post..June Is Bustin’ Out All Over

  5. April 30, 2009 at 9:19 am

    I am so sorry for your loss. I know. how hard it is. Something you never get over and you miss that person everyday for the rest of your life. It does get easier though with the sadness.
    When my brother in law was killed accidentally at work it devastated me. I had never experienced death before with someone I knew so well. It took me a long time to get over it and of course I still miss him but I can now look back and laugh and joke about him instead of feel sad(-: I know he will be waiting to kick my butt for all that later(-:
    Grieve as much as you want and take time to just sit and do nothing. We will all be here waiting for your return when you are ready. (((hugs)))

    cindees last blog post..Peek-A-Boo

  6. April 30, 2009 at 9:48 am


    My heart breaks for you and your family in this tough time. I’ve got you all (and La La too) in my prayers.

    As everyone else has said (and as your muse so wisely requested), you should take all the time you need and grieve in whatever ways you see fit.

    We’ll be here when you’re both ready to write again, and until then, we’ll be thinking of you.


  7. April 30, 2009 at 10:06 am

    Get it out, and in between do what needs to be done: you are a wise woman, at times, Shelly. 🙂

    My heart’s with you all. I’m wishing that you and the rest of LaLa’s family have so many good memories pop in that they insulate your hearts while you gather strength to fully cope with her death.

    Marcias last blog post..Life’s Tripod Against Death

  8. April 30, 2009 at 10:48 am

    Y’all I appreciate your kind thoughts here, on Facebook and on Twitter, and I’ll be trying to answer each of you by private e-mail, because opening my editor to answer on the blog is a PITA right now.

    It may take me a couple of days to write my thanks. I need to be with my family right now. My Muse is an idiot most of the time, but in this instance I think she is right. Letting the grief flow is much better than trying to “suck it up.”

    Thank you all for your support.

  9. April 30, 2009 at 11:05 am

    Dearest Shelly…
    The muse is right, grief is necessary.
    I am so sorry for your loss.

    “Do not stand at my grave and weep;
    I am not there, I do not sleep…
    I am a thousand winds that blow;
    I am the diamond glints on snow.
    I am the gentle autumn’s rain.
    When you waken in the morning’s hush,
    I am the swift uplifting rush
    Of quiet birds in circle flight.
    I am the soft star that shines at night.
    Do not stand at my grave and cry…
    I am not there… I did not die.”
    (author unknown)

    Carol G.s last blog post..It’s Done!!

  10. April 30, 2009 at 11:11 pm

    Muses know that sometimes all there is for it is to sit in the rain and weep. May it be a warm rain. Love to you and yours, my dear friend.

    Thornes last blog post..Matthew Shephard Act goes to the House

  11. May 1, 2009 at 6:46 am

    Yep! I think your muse is right!

    I decided I better quit kissen pigs.

    Have a Good Friday

    Sheila Atwoods last blog post..The Road To Success-Only The Good Friday

  12. May 1, 2009 at 7:32 am

    Sitting in the rain and crying seems like the best thing to do, here. The Muse has it — except for the dressing like a pirate part. Unless LaLa would have approved?

    Allow me to join the chorus of condolences, my friend. No need to send a separate response to me; take the time you’d spend doing that and remember something really good about LaLa, something you want to share with all of us when you’re ready.

    Hugs, and lots of warm rain…

    Susan Helene Gottfrieds last blog post..Featured New Release: Mirror Blue

  13. May 1, 2009 at 7:57 am

    Shelly, you and your family are in my heart and my thoughts. I’m lighting a candle tonight and whispering LaLa’s name to my dream desert singer.

  14. May 1, 2009 at 9:58 am

    No sucking it up. You must grieve or you will make yourself sick. There is all kinds of grief and all levels and absolutely no time frame. Healing thoughts of peace and acceptance and wisdom to know when to wallow and when to rise above.

    Take good care, Shelly.

    Kathleens last blog post..May Day! May Day!

  15. May 1, 2009 at 11:59 am

    Oops. forgot to come back with the link for my OtGF. Got my good on’!

    Thornes last blog post..Good For the Heart – Medicine Bags for Kids with Cancer

  16. May 1, 2009 at 6:24 pm

    I sorry for your loss. Grief is painful but I guess necessary. It sure make me more compassionate for those who have sadness in their life.

    I hope you and your family heal quickly.
    My thought and prayers are with you.

    The pig photo is a riot.

    Insightful Nanas last blog post..May Day Traditions – “Only The Good” Friday

Comments are closed.