What’s So Good About Having Cats?

Research has proven that positive health benefits are derived from having a pet — provided that you like animals, and have the time to take care of one. This morning, I’m trying to drill that into my head as my exercise for Only The Good Friday. Obviously those researchers didn’t come to my house to conduct their studies!

I woke with a “fuzzy brain” this morning, because I had to take a Tylenol PM in order to sleep. Why? Because I have a neurotic cat named Walter Mitty who loves his “momma.” He loves me so much that he can’t get close enough to me. He wants to sleep on my neck! That was fine when he weighed just a few ounces as a kitten, but that was in the year 2000. Nine years and eight pounds later the routine is old!

I hear what you all are screaming at me: “Lock the cat out of the room!” Yeah. Right. I’d still have to take a sleeping pill to ignore the noise as he tried to batter down the door. Walter also knows how to open doors. He jumps at the handle and grabs it with his paws until the knob turns. I’ll give him this much — he’s not as dumb as he looks.

As I climbed out of bed, my foot landed on a wet, slimy hairball deposited for my amusement by the charming Lexus, so named because when he purrs (which is constantly) he sounds like a smooth running motor. None of the hair that he upchucks is his own. Lexus is such a nice guy that he grooms every other cat in the house. Indeed, that’s very kind of him, but I wish he would leave the hairballs elsewhere.

That’s only two of the five fe-lions in my menagerie. The rest have gone into hiding after they heard my tone of voice when I looked at the litter boxes, which are in dire need of a scooping. I don’t want to gag on the smell of ammonia.

I stumbled to my office to write a post about “the good,” because I’ve promised myself that’s the theme for Friday. I have to be optimistic one day a week. I needed to take this frustration at my cats and turn it around. So, I Googled the research about the benefits of having a pet, and realized I might need some help with that. This is what I found:

1. Having a pet can encourage you to get out and get exercise, which is good for managing stress. I’ve never tried to walk my cats — and I don’t think I can train them to a leash. However, all that bending to scoop litter boxes and pick up hairballs is definitely good exercise. Did I turn that one around?
2. Pets can help with social support, because when we take them out walking they can help us meet people. They are good conversation starters. Again, I don’t walk my cats. I do talk to dog owners who walk their dogs in the neighborhood. Usually I’m saying, “Hey! Aren’t you going to clean up the poop your dog just left in my yard?” How can I turn this around?

   Hmmm. Having five cats is indeed a good conversation starter. I once told a man I had them, and he said, “I like cats. Lets share recipes.”

3. Pets can help you deal with stress? That’s what “they” say. The studies showed that in stressful situations, having a pet present was more helpful than having another human present. I guess it depends on which human is present. I’ll try to turn this around: In stressful situations, it’s more helpful to have my cats present than to have the comfort of Khalid Sheikh Mohammed. Did that work?
4. Having pets can improve your mood.

   Excuse me…

   I just had to pick myself up off the floor, where I was rolling and howling with laughter. Seriously though, studies of men with AIDS, done by researchers at the UCLA School of Public Health, showed that AIDS patients who own pets are less likely to suffer from depression.

   To turn this one around: Thank goodness I don’t have AIDS! AND, if this is an “improved mood,” just think how bad my mood could be if I didn’t have these five cats!

5. Pets help reduce feelings of loneliness and provide unconditional love.
   Give me a break here! I’m talking about cats! Cats don’t “love” anybody unless it suits their needs at the moment (except for Walter). Mine sure don’t help with loneliness, because no one wants to visit because they’ll choke on cat hair…

Eureka! I’ve just thought of a solution to my problems. I can get rid of the cat hair, the hairballs, and discourage Walter from wanting to be near me! I have an epilator!

My mood has improved already!

Some of you may be thinking, “If cats are such a problem for this lady, why doesn’t she get rid of them?” I don’t get rid of them because I love them — even on bad days. Each of them is like a member of the family. One doesn’t get rid of the kids just because they cling, or make a mess, or puke. Does one?

In truth, I know that all of the above points about the benefits of having pets is true. At least, it’s true most days.

I need y’all to help me out here. This was supposed to be a post about “good,” and I let it degenerate. If you have pets you can leave a comment about the goodness of your pet, and maybe it will encourage me. If not, feel free to leave a recipe!

Perhaps some of my friends who participate in this weekly theme will have something more optimistic for you. As for me, I think I’ll curl up and catnap for awhile.

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Related posts:

1. I Can’t Even Cat Nap
2. I Might Have A Cure For The Cat’s Ear Mites
3. Just Call Me “Scissorhands”
4. My Cats Are Not This Entertaining
5. Thursday Thirteen Number 28. I Do NOT Feel Guilty

Tagged as: cats, Critters, humor, Only The Good Friday, optimism