My little sister is all into those HGTV shows. “Experts” tell you how to make “attractive” home decoration (which quite often just look “home made”). They call it “DIY,” for “do it yourself.” She keeps telling me about a store called Home Goods. Her claim is that they are always showing fabulous finds from that store on the shows she watches. I have never been to the store.
While I believe her assertion that the store has beautiful goods, I don’t often buy “new” home furnishings. Unless someone gives me money, I probably will never know for certain. As I’ve told you before, my “decorating” is done with finds from thrift stores, garage sales, and sometimes even people’s trash piles. So, it came as quite a surprise to me when I took the Home Goods “Stylescope Quiz” and discovered that my style is “Glamorous Classic.”
NO! I’m not kidding … that’s what it said!
I think the test must be flawed. It could be because they didn’t ask the right questions … or it could be that they didn’t offer the answers that really reflect what I would do. The very first question threw me for a loop.
It asked: “You are running late and have 10 minutes until your guests arrive. What do you do?” The answers included: give the house a quick sniff & light scented candles; put together a tray of munchies; think drinks; or dim the lights to create ambiance and set out candles.
No where on that form did it give the option: “Call your guests and tell them you are quarantined with swine flu.”
Ten minutes? People, I have five cats! Before any guest comes in my door (at least before any guest I respect comes to my door), I have to empty the litter boxes and wipe the cat hair off the furniture! The closest answer that they offered was the one that said: dim the lights and set out candles. I figured that if the lights were low, people might not see the cat hair and if I light enough vanilla scented candles it might mask the odor of cat boxes. There is nothing “glamorous” about that! And, remember that you have been forewarned not to sneak up on me.
The survey asked, “If your home were a handbag, what would it be?” Again, they didn’t offer an appropriate answer. “Duffel bag.” “Suitcase.” Those might have applied. But, often I don’t carry a handbag, so technically I would be homeless!
One question on the survey asked “if your relationship to color were a romance, you would describe your feelings as…” It gave a lot of different answers, but it didn’t offer “open relationship.” I like all colors and mix them indiscriminately.
My home is nowhere near “Glamorous Classic.” It’s comfortable. It’s interesting. Mostly it’s clean, except for unavoidable cat hair (I promise I was kidding … the cat box is usually emptied on a regular basis and it doesn’t smell). I think that my style is more “Gypsy Garage Sale.”
You can go answer the questions on that survey (it only takes a couple of minutes and it puts you in a drawing for gift cards, I think). Probably they won’t describe your style the way you would, but I’m curious about what other styles they list.
Knowing my “style” probably won’t change the way my house looks, because I don’t think that DIY is all that and a bag of chips. My idea of doing it myself is to write a check to the handyman while I lounge by the pool. Except, I don’t have a pool; I don’t have a handyman; and writing a check is out of the question at this moment. Unless someone from one of those HGTV shows comes to my house and offers me a free home make-over, this place isn’t going to change.
Maybe I should just print out the answer to the survey, proclaiming me a Glamorous Classic, and frame it for my walls, so that all my guests can read it while they wipe cat hair off their clothing?