My life resembles the soundtrack from the Wizard of Oz. Like the Scarecrow, I go around singing “If I Only Had A Brain.” But, wait! I do have a brain … in fact, I keep it in the living room so that everyone will see it. Unfortunately, it’s just a brain coral.
I’ve done something stoopid. I’m sure none of you have ever experienced a brain blip. I’m paying for my mistake right now.
See, every two years I have to re-apply for the Texas Commission on the Arts Touring Artist Roster (unless I don’t want to get many jobs as a storyteller). I’ve been on the roster since 1997, so it’s not a surprise to me. Last November, I gathered all the material that they always require and slammed it into a file … ready to go. I am soooo organized.
The application wasn’t on-line at that time, in fact it wasn’t available until the middle of December. No problem, right? I had everything ready. I didn’t have to fill it out over the holidays, but could wait until January. In fact, I didn’t even look at it. After all, I only had to type the information into those itty bitty boxes … right?
They changed the form! Although they don’t require as much information, they want dates (they never wanted those before). AND, half of my score is based on the audio-visual material I provide (which was taped last fall but never sent to me!). When I get it later this week, I have to get it edited, because the panel only wants to see four minutes of work “representative of my program.”
FURTHERMORE, I have to re-vamp my work website. Since they aren’t asking for all the written information, the panel will be grading us according to the information on our websites.
Yes, my friends … “life would be a dinglederry if I only had a brain.” Since I don’t seem to have one, life is a dingleberry.
Pardon me while I go breathe into a paper bag … I’m hyperventilating.