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Life Would Be A Dinglederry, If I Only Had A Brain

by Shelly Kneupper Tucker on January 13, 2010

My life resembles the soundtrack from the Wizard of Oz. Like the Scarecrow, I go around singing “If I Only Had A Brain.” But, wait! I do have a brain … in fact, I keep it in the living room so that everyone will see it. Unfortunately, it’s just a brain coral.

If I could just figure out how to plug it in ...

If I could just figure out how to plug it in ...

I’ve done something stoopid. I’m sure none of you have ever experienced a brain blip. I’m paying for my mistake right now.

See, every two years I have to re-apply for the Texas Commission on the Arts Touring Artist Roster (unless I don’t want to get many jobs as a storyteller). I’ve been on the roster since 1997, so it’s not a surprise to me. Last November, I gathered all the material that they always require and slammed it into a file … ready to go. I am soooo organized.

The application wasn’t on-line at that time, in fact it wasn’t available until the middle of December. No problem, right? I had everything ready. I didn’t have to fill it out over the holidays, but could wait until January. In fact, I didn’t even look at it. After all, I only had to type the information into those itty bitty boxes … right?

WRONG!

They changed the form!
Although they don’t require as much information, they want dates (they never wanted those before). AND, half of my score is based on the audio-visual material I provide (which was taped last fall but never sent to me!). When I get it later this week, I have to get it edited, because the panel only wants to see four minutes of work “representative of my program.”

FURTHERMORE, I have to re-vamp my work website. Since they aren’t asking for all the written information, the panel will be grading us according to the information on our websites.

Yes, my friends … “life would be a dinglederry if I only had a brain.” Since I don’t seem to have one, life is a dingleberry.

Pardon me while I go breathe into a paper bag … I’m hyperventilating.

Other posts you might enjoy:

  1. The “Teenage Brain”
  2. 750 Words. A Daily Brain Dump
  3. The Senility Test: Brain Teasers
  4. The Signposts of Life
  5. Calendar Girl


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{ 8 comments }

Jessica The Rock Chick January 13, 2010 at 4:48 pm

Close your eyes, count to 10 and relax!!!! You’ll get it done. You are Shelly Tucker, storyteller extraordinaire!!! If you need any web help, holler. I’ll be glad to if I can.
.-= Jessica The Rock Chick´s last blog ..Blacker Than Obama? =-.

Shelly Kneupper Tucker February 1, 2010 at 10:35 am

I wish I could get you to do the web help, but it’s writing all the “blah blah blah” about me that is the problem :grin: Thank you, though.

Elizabeth January 13, 2010 at 5:46 pm

Can’t help with the webpage – I can barely figure out my blog. But count to 20 & start with the stuff you know, then go dig out old paper calendars (that’s part of why I keep them suckers) and write out the dates you need. Good luck!
.-= Elizabeth´s last blog ..Kiddo’s Big Kid Room Redo for his 5th birthday =-.

Shelly Kneupper Tucker February 1, 2010 at 10:34 am

I tried to take a deep breath, but choked on it :wink: I’ll make it work, but thanks for the encouragement.

Marcia January 15, 2010 at 10:31 pm

OK. You’ve completed your mission, right? You didn’t use up every brown paper bag in Texas to get it done, right? Now, I need one, that was so like me, I’m hyperventilating for you….
.-= Marcia´s last blog ..Helping, It Can’t Get Any Easier to Donate =-.

Shelly Kneupper Tucker February 1, 2010 at 10:30 am

You are too empathetic :lol:

Jamie January 16, 2010 at 3:47 pm

Okay this is too weird. For years my favorite swear word has been “dingleberries”. We even had a cat Bootsie Dingleberry. You are the only person I’ve ever seen or heard use the word dingleberry unless I picked it up when too young to remember the source. Is it a Texas word?
.-= Jamie´s last blog ..The Unending Battle =-.

Shelly Kneupper Tucker January 18, 2010 at 11:18 am

Well, it is a nasty word, but I’m not going to explain it to you on the blog …
I don’t think it is a “native” Texas word. Must be one of those transplanted things. At least, I don’t want to claim it as being from Texas. :grin:

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