I’m Too Jaded For The Fort Worth Stockyards

When people visit from out of town, the Fort Worth Stockyards is NOT the first place I want to take them. In fact, I avoid taking them there unless they whine … and bribe me with bacon … chocolate … money. I know that if you aren’t from Texas you think that this place is all about cowboys (or politicians with their boots in their mouths), but Texas has a lot more to offer than this tourist trap née historic area, I will not go to the Stockyards.

Except, I did. We wanted to stay at a haunted bed and breakfast that was a bordello in a former life … and it was smack dab in the middle of the Stockyard District. I’ll tell you about that haunted B & B another time, but I want to tell you why I won’t go back to the Stockyards.

My impression of it is that it tries too hard. The place is just a tourist trap, with many shops where you can buy cheap “cowboy stuff.” You can get yourself a straw cowboy hat and join all the Japanese tourists as they strut down the street pretending to be cowpokes.

Then, there are a few places like Leddy’s, where you can spend some real bucks on cowboy wear. They have been peddling beautiful hand stitched boots, impeccably hand tooled leather saddles, and other western wear since 1922. But, keep in mind that it is a place for the very rich. Clients include George W. Bush, Camilla Parker-Bowles and her husband (what was his name? Charlie?), and their ilk.

I confess that I was attracted to some of the clothing, but the moment I looked at the price tags I nearly had a heart attack. “Perhaps I could afford a purse,” I thought. “The leather smells so wonderful!” I sorted through the purses and found one that pleased me.

“That’s a purdy little purse,” says I. I pulled out the price tag and saw that it cost $2555.00. That is not a typographical error. Leddy’s wanted two-thousand, two-hundred, and fifty-five dollars for that tiny plain Jane purse! Heck, I won’t shell out money on purses that cost as much as the sales tax on that thang! Mr. Tucker, in his typical droll fashion, commented, “What’s the point of buying a purse if you having nothing left to put into it?”

Obviously the Fort Worth Stockyards doesn’t appeal to me as a shopping mecca. It’s filled with “honky tonks” playing urban cowboy music. The streets are lined with those bars, and if you drink enough there then you can go to one of the many tattoo parlors also located in the district. You can get yourself a permanent memory of the occasion (since you won’t remember anything else about it).

If you are taking your family for a jaunt through the district so they can see “the real West,” you’ll find a few “cowboys” lining the streets to give you a photo opportunity. I managed to resist the temptation to have my picture taken with this gentleman, but other tourists didn’t have my fortitude. I don’t figure this fellow knows one end of a horse from another.

There are police on horseback who will stop in the pursuit of justice long enough to let you take a picture and pet the horsie.

As you walk the streets, you will find stars embedded in the sidewalk to memorialize the “famous” cowboys of long ago. It’s a bit like having a star on the Hollywood Boulevard Walk of Fame, I supposed … until I saw that Tonto had a star! They lost my interest right there. And, yes, The Lone Ranger had a star right next to his, but it was covered in bird poop and I didn’t feel like cleaning it up to make it photogenic.

One of the “attractions” of The Stockyards is that they have a daily “cattle drive” at 11:30 and 4:00. After seeing the lethargic bunch of cattle that would be driven through the streets, we decided to miss it and wait for a more exciting trip to Pamplona, Spain to see a real bull run.

Perhaps you think that I’m just being jaded when I talk about The Fort Worth Stockyards, and I suppose that I am. However, keep in mind that I’m a 5th generation Texan, and sometimes I’m hard to impress. I am NOT impressed by urban cowboys, plastic tomahawks, or crass commercialism. There are many places in my neck of the woods that are more interesting.

If you are in Fort Worth and want to experience a taste of Texas, I’d suggest you try the Fort Worth Cultural District (where you will find world class museums) or Sundance Square before you waste your time here. Although the Stockyards have a fascinating history, it isn’t in evidence these days. You can look at these pictures and see just about all there is to see there. I’ll send you more pictures, if you want them. You can photoshop your own face into the picture and tell people you were there.

There is only one thing that will ever take me back to The Stockyards … it’s that haunted bed and breakfast that I’ll tell you about soon. THAT was worth the trip.

Oh, wait. I’ll go back to The Stockyards if you give me money.

Other posts you might enjoy:

1. My Neck Of The Woods. Weston Gardens in Fort Worth, Texas
2. Foray to Fort Worth, TX
3. Bread Pudding That Is Worth The Wait
4. Gilberto’s Restaurant in Fairfield, Texas. It’s Worth The Stop.
5. Flaming Fajitas At La Familia

Tagged as: Fort Worth, MY NECK OF THE WOODS, photographs, Prairies and Lakes