Raise your hand if your Momma insisted on you displaying table manners when you grew up. I remember my mother telling me, “Close your mouth when you chew.” She told me that a jillion times. She also sometimes told me, “Don’t talk with your mouth open,” (ahem) but I didn’t learn to be a ventriloquist. That’s unfortunate, because if I had I could blame my remarks on other people and I’d make more money than I do as a storyteller.
But, I digress. I was talking about table manners, and the lack thereof. My mother’s persistent badgering taught me how to eat at a table with other human beings. I do not chew with my mouth open, I put a napkin in my lap, I use the proper utensils, and I don’t slurp soup. I still talk with my mouth open, but I rarely embarrass myself in polite company. However, I think that table manners might have skipped a generation … or two. I came to this conclusion after we ate at a pizza parlor in Fort Bragg.
You see, I plopped myself down at one of the rectangular tables at Round Table Pizza and glanced at the diners who were directly in my line of sight. There sat a boy, about twelve years old. His eyes were glazed over as he munched his pizza with his mouth wide open … pizza dribbling out of his mouth and down his chin! It was revolting!
“Oh, my Thunder!” I muttered under my breath. “Didn’t that boy’s Momma teach him any manners?”
Then, I glanced at his Momma. I almost started banging my head on the table. “Was she born in a barn?” I asked out loud. Quite frankly, I didn’t care if she heard me. That heifer was masticating a mouthful of pizza with her mouth wide open and pizza dribbling down her chin! I swear, y’all, I’ve seen cow’s chewing a cud who looked more dignified than that.
Did they think that because this was just a pizza parlor then manners were not required? I didn’t expect them to put a napkin in their lap or eat with a fork … but is it so difficult to close your lips around your teeth when you chew?
People, the spectacle of this family eating nearly made me lose my appetite. I had to move in the booth until a pillar blocked those folks from my view. They didn’t need a table, they needed a trough!
When my own kids were small, I got after them about table manners the same way my mother got after me. I sounded like a broken record, I know, but I didn’t want them to embarrass themselves in good company. Although they didn’t always display their manners, they knew what was appropriate and what was not.
In fact, the youngest boy took a class in High School for one semester that taught table manners in the course of the curriculum. While I think that parents are the ones responsible for teaching manners, there is something to be said for embarrassing a child in front of his peers to make a lesson take hold.
Am I out of line on this one? How do you feel about table manners? Is it even reasonable to expect people to exhibit them, when we so often eat in our cars, on the run, or in front of a television? Chew on it for a minute and get back to me.
But, please chew with your mouth closed!
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Sadly it isn’t just table manners that have gone by the wayside but all sort of common curtesies that just “ain’t common” anymore. I still insist on table manners and more from our son. It has gotten so bad that some universities now teach classes in basic work and social etiquette. Young people do not realize that how you handle yourself in a social situation reflects on how you handle yourself in a business situation too. Bosses look to hire people who can eat with their mouth closed in business lunches.
Unfortunately, I believe table manners are a symptom of a whole loss of courtesy and considerate behavior. Eating is bad enough, but don’t get me started on swearing. With the examples some parents set you wonder how these youngsters are going to navigate through life without the social oil that makes it all run smoothly. You don’t have to be a prude or some nose in the air snob to know that making others comfortable is the best way to get ahead and get along.
About mothers … Mine sat me down with her silver set in full formal dinner array. I doubt I will ever be invited to dine with royalty, but I durn well know how to use every piece of cutlery they could throw my way.
Then there was the matter of NO GUM CHEWING!!!!
Gum chewing girls and cud chewing cows
so very alike yet different somehow
What is the difference?
Oh I see it now.
The thoughtful expression on the face of the cow.
I don’t think you were out of line at ALL. There were 4 of us children, growing up in the 60′s and 70′s, and my parents insisted on proper table etiquette. They also insisted on taking us to NICE restaurants with them (before Mom’s agorophobia anyway) reasoning that we couldn’t really learn how to behave if we weren’t exposed to the real situation. I think the highlight of my Mom’s 50′s was being complimented by a Waiter on how well-behaved we were!
I think it’s perfectly reasonable to expect people to behave appropriately for the venue and situation – unfortunately we don’t live in a reasonable world anymore.
Do I think you are out of line? Not just no, but HELL NO! My Mom was tough on table manners but not near as much so as was her younger brother and his wife! Their four kids had to really toe the line when it came to manners! But slurping -that was one thing my Mom as well as my aunt and uncle really stressed that it was a big no-no -so much so that if I am around anyone, to this day, who slurps, it turns my stomach immediately. Now my ex-husband discovered that little quirk about me and after that, anytime I served the family soup, he would make a big production out of slurping his soup -simply because he knew it would make me immediately leave the table, half sick to my stomach! My kids learned early on from that not to slurp because it can actually make some people really sick and thankfully, they chose not to follow in their father’s footsteps -even if he was only doing that to tease and torment me!
To be honest, I need to pay attention to the position of my body parts while I eat. I mean, I am pretty sure my mouth is closed while I chew, but I lean over the table and have my elbows up there. I do, however, have a napkin in my lap and don’t use my fingers.
I also don’t pay any attention to what others are doing, whether their mouths are open, whether they are making noises, (like slurping soup), or where their elbows are.
With Grandkids at the dinner table, and all of us eating dinner together, we try to instill common decent practices in the children, but no one badgers them for slight improprieties like the napkin, for instance, as they fiddle, moive around because they don’t quite make it to table height while eating.
I’ll do some people watching and be mindfull, just becuase I read this and now I wonder about it. Otherwise, I get a mouthful of BBQ sauce when I eat them ribs Darlin’, and you might find some drippin’ down my chin a little if’n they’s good.
Peace.
Table manners – are they a dying art? Maybe there aren’t too many families that sit at a table to share a meal any more. Instead they sit around the television or computer to eat.
We always ate a meal together as a family when my children were growing up. Greta for manners and even better for communication
I’m not even nitpicky with table manners. I don’t care if we’re at home and someone puts elbows on the table, etc. (out is another story), but talking with globs of food in your mouth is disgusting, child or not! I like your ranting style
I was married a few months before I noticed that my husband was chewing with his mouth open. I noticed it, not because of what I saw but what I could hear. It was unnerving, and odd that I’d not noticed it before. Such is love, I guess. I mentioned it to him and all he did was deny that he was doing it. The next time we were at his parent’s house, I noticed that his father did the same thing! Once back home, I mentioned this. The next time we ate dinner with his folks, my hubs said to me, “You’re right, my Dad does chew with his mouth open. It’s disgusting.” I never heard a thing at our dinner table again.
Thanks for all your comments on the subject. Despite the fact that we are a society that is pretty much “on the go,” I think that little things … like table manners … show a respect for others AND respect for ourselves. Hopefully, any open-mouthed chewers who see this will change their ways, so I can stand to look away from the plate when I eat out
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