I rolled down the car window to kiss my husband goodbye before going to town to do errands. Isn’t that special? I still kiss him goodbye before I leave for an hour. However, I might not anymore, if it means rolling down the car window. When I hit the button, that window said, “THUNK…. whhrrrrrr.” That’s how I translated it, anyway. The window rolled down — but it would not roll back up!

We opened the car door and stared at it, bumfuzzled. Car manufacturers these days don’t make it obvious how to take a door apart. Not that it would done any good to take it apart. It obviously needed a thingamabob to fix it.

Just when my husband and I were both good and ready to start screaming and shouting at the door (because that always makes a mechanical part straighten up and fly right), we looked at each other and sighed, “It could be worse.”

And, it could have been! We had to look at this from a different perspective.

This could have happened when we were out of town on a trip. We would have had to stop and ask directions to a dealership (because Lord knows the Google map on our iPhones would have never led us where we wanted to go). It didn’t. It happened smack dab in the middle of our own driveway.

The window could have broken on a blustery, rainy day. Worse, it could have been a snowy, icy day. It didn’t. It was a balmy 62°.

Catastrophe could have struck on a Sunday, with no way in Thunder of getting it repaired … and we don’t have space in our garage to put a car (is that what that big old room is for?) It didn’t. It was Saturday and the dealership was open.

The dealership could have had to order an exotic part that would take three weeks to arrive. They didn’t. In fact, they had the thingamabob to fix the window AND the doohickey to fix the automatic door lock (which has been broken for months).

After a breezy drive to the dealership, and a hefty bill, my car window worked again. My door lock also works, which means I can use that automatic key again to make the horn honk when I am lost in a parking lot. I missed tooting my horn.

Was the incident annoying? Why, yes it was. We had to change our plans for the day. Instead of running around independently to do our respective errands, we had to go together. Imagine that. It took a broken window to “make” us spend time with each other.

Was the incident expensive? Did you not read that it was repaired at a dealership? Do you even have to ask that question?

We could have allowed this tiny incident to ruin our day. We didn’t. Instead, we chose to look for “only the good.” It takes practice to see the good, sometimes. Occasionally, you just have to get things in perspective. I promise that if you can find good in a difficult situation, you’ll find yourself chewing a lot less of those Tums tablets!

How about you? Do you look for the good? Tell me about it. Meanwhile, I hope your day is filled with only the good.

© Shelly for This Eclectic Life, 2012. | Permalink | 6 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: Only The Good, philosophy

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Don’t worry, I’m not going to make you listen to Sarah McLachlan sing “In The Arms of an Angel” while you read (although you can if you feel so moved). I don’t want you to cry … I want you to think about the animals that are abandoned in shelters. Don’t feel guilty and think I’m telling you to save them all. Instead, remember that story about the boy and the starfish.

What? You haven’t heard that story? Sure you have, it’s all over the internet, but it case you have been on Mars for the last six years or so, here it is in a nutshell:

A boy and his grandfather walked along the beach, where they saw thousands of starfish that had been washed to the shore by the tide. The boy started picking up starfish, one by one, and flinging them back in the water.
His grandfather said, “Son, why are you wasting your time? There are so many that you can’t make a difference!”
The boy tossed another starfish into the water and said, “I made a difference to that one.”

Our animal shelter in Denton is at capacity right now. I imagine that shelters all over the country are full. As I understand it, the problem is worse these days because of the economy. Folks can’t afford to feed themselves, let alone a pet. So, more pets are being abandoned or taken to the animal shelters with the hopes that they will be adopted. Unless the animal winds up in a “no-kill” shelter, the chances aren’t good.

The kitten above (don’t you love those big ears?) was at our animal shelter a few months ago and probably got adopted. The kittens and the puppies are the lucky ones (if you can call beginning your life abandoned to a shelter to be “lucky”). Cute, itty-bitty animals tug at the heartstrings — therefore they get adopted more quickly. Older animals are not always so adorable or adoptable, although they still have a lot of love to give. If a caring person doesn’t recognize that and take them home … time runs out. Don’t make me tell you what happens next.

Not long ago, a stray dog and I crossed paths. I took one look at her and called her “Frida,” because she had eyebrows like Frida Kahlo. Bless her heart, she was starving. That dog was just a bag of bones, but I could see that she was gentle and friendly. Now, I could not keep her for several reasons (even though my heart screamed to do so):

1. I don’t have a fenced back yard.
2. I can’t afford $10,000 to fence it … and we have coyotes!
3. I have five indoor cats (all adopted from the streets) who howled, “No way!” when I suggested the dog move inside.
4. My poor husband’s eyes howled the same thing. He is kind-hearted, but not that crazy about dogs.

I knew that if I called animal control it was a death sentence for the dog. Our local shelter works hard to get animals adopted (they even have a Facebook page where they show pictures), but Frida was too far from being adoptable. It would take months of care to get her back to the weight she needed to be. It would take resources that our shelter couldn’t afford to spend on just one dog.

Fortunately for me, and Frida, a neighbor was involved with Lost Paws, a no-kill group that helps strays find a home. Frida was taken to a house where she could romp with other dogs, regain her strength, and be safe. Last month I was informed that she had been adopted by a family with a young boy at home. Exactly what that big gal needed! Frida was lucky.

Other animals who are abandoned don’t fare so well.

Make a
difference
to that one.

How can you make a difference?

• Unless you are ready to make a lifetime commitment to the animal — don’t get it! A pet is a big responsibility. It deserves to be wanted and loved for life (which could be 12-18 years!). Before you get a pet, make darned sure you can and will care for it.
• If you want a pet (or two … or three), consider adopting from a shelter. See if they have a Facebook page and view the animals there before you walk into the shelter. If you are like me you might walk away with a dozen critters (or cry your eyes out trying to choose). You could do what our son Ian and his wife did (I am so proud of them): they went to the local shelter intending to adopt a kitten … and came away with both a kitten and an older cat (who was a bit aloof and probably not very desirable). Now “Up-up,Down-down,” the kitten, and “Murphy” have a loving home for life.

  I won’t lie, you will have to spend money to get it. It might seem like a lot. At the Denton Animal Shelter, a dog/puppy costs $120 and a cat/kitten costs $110 … BUT, you will know it is healthy. It will have gotten all its vaccinations, be treated for all manner of vermin, be spayed/neutered, and have a microchip implanted (so the animal can be identified and returned to you if it ever gets lost).

• If you already have pets be a responsible pet owner. Make sure that your pets are spayed or neutered. Yes, you macho men out there … that means that you must take Fido to the vet to have him “cut,” even though you are squeamish about the idea. Even though you keep your dog in a yard, he only has to get out one time to create an unwanted litter of puppies with a female dog owned by some other irresponsible pet owner. That is how animal shelters get filled!
• If you can’t afford an animal, or your life isn’t suited for one right now, consider donating to your local Humane Society, Animal Shelter, or no-kill shelter. I like the idea of contributing locally instead of sending money to a faraway charity — which then spends your entire donation mailing you pictures of the animal you sponsored and requests for more money!
• If money is tight, do what some friends of mine did: at their joint birthday party, they asked that, in lieu of gifts, friends bring cans of dog or cat food to donate to their local animal shelter. You will know who your true friends are when they show up with a case of animal food and a bottle of wine!

Hundreds of animals are coming to an animal shelter near you daily. Now it’s true that you can’t save them all. But, you can make a difference for one. Whatever you do … don’t do nothing.

Now go listen to Sarah Mclachlan and weep a little bit while you ponder what you can do.

© Shelly for This Eclectic Life, 2011. | Permalink | 7 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: Critters, Give From The Heart, Only The Good

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When my neighbor walks her annoying, yappy little dog through the neighborhood each day, she wears work gloves and carries an enormous garbage bag. It’s not that her dog will make that big of a mess when he does his “business.” While she walks, she carries that bag because she picks up the trash that drivers have carelessly tossed on the roadside.

“You must
be
the change
you want to
see in
the world.” Mahatma Gandhi

You might be thinking, “That won’t change anything. Someone else is just going to throw out their litter and the road will be all trashy again.” Sadly, you are probably right about the drivers … but it’s not pointless. For a brief moment each day, our neighborhood is pristine (and I’d hate to think what it might look like if she didn’t pick up the trash for us). Each day, my neighbor makes a difference … and gets some extra exercise, too.

I once lived next door to a retired man who loved his riding lawnmower. Each week during the spring when he mowed his own lawn, he drove across the neighboring yards to mow them, too. He wasn’t making a “statement” about our yards — he was just being helpful. We appreciated it, too. It’s hard to juggle raising two kids, working full time, going to school, keeping house, and mowing the lawn. Fred made a difference.

It’s true that Fred was doing something he enjoyed anyway. In fact, if he didn’t have a lawn to mow, he would simply drive around the streets on that lawn mower giving little kids a ride. By mowing our lawns for us, Fred allowed the younger folks on the block to have more time to spend with their children. I wonder where Fred is these days? I wish he still lived next to me!

I have the great good fortune to deal with people (mostly women) who also make a difference every day. These women have combined their passion for crochet with their love of children to work for the Share A Square program. As they sit in front of their television sets (or wait in doctor’s offices), they crochet colorful six-inch squares to make blankets for little kid’s with cancer. I’m being bombarded by mail right now, as they send thousands of squares to me. Those kind-hearted women are doing something they like to do anyway, using up scrap yarn, and when they are done 150 little kids will be wrapped with the warmth of their love.

Today is “Make A Difference Day.” Perhaps you have heard about it? On one day a year, according to USA Weekend Magazine, millions of Americans go out in the wide world to do something (anything) to make the world a better place. Getting people to work for the greater good on one day each year is a powerful idea, however I can’t help but imagine:

What would this world be like if we all chose to “make a difference” one day a month … or once a week? Imagine what this world would be like if we all considered our actions every day and made the deliberate choice to “make a difference.”

Now, open your eyes wide and look around you. Put on your thinking cap and consider what tiny thing you could do (maybe something that you already like to do) each day to make the world a better place. What can you do to make a difference?

Imagine the change you want to see in the world and BE the change.

© Shelly for This Eclectic Life, 2011. | Permalink | 2 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: Give From The Heart, Only The Good

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I cannot look at a toad now without thinking of the movie O, Brother, Where Art Thou? and the line that Delmar (Tim Blake Nelson) whispered to Pete (John Turturro): “We thought you was a toad!” If you haven’t seen the movie, I know you think I’m crazy to think that’s a funny line. However, if you haven’t seen the movie and you think I’m crazy, that’s a case of “the pot calling the kettle black.” You’re crazy if you don’t see that movie! The music is fantastic and you will laugh …

I digress. I wanted to show you a toad:

You WAS a toad!

If you are one of those folks who scream “Ick!” when you see a toad, stop for a moment and consider them. I want you to practice thinking “only the good” about them (we can all use practice with looking at the brighter side of things). Sure, they have a face that only a mother could love, but toads are a beneficial part of our ecosystem. They do not give you warts (haven’t you learned by now that you can’t believe anything those old wives tell you?).

It is estimated that a single toad eats 10,000 insects in a summer. Personally, I think it’s much more than that. When my boys were small, we sat on the driveway one balmy summer night tossing June bugs to a toad who was drawn to our porch light. I know that fella ate more than twenty of them, and he would have kept going if we had kept throwing; he would have eaten until he popped his guts all over the cement …

We didn’t keep throwing. After that first incident, I didn’t want to carry the guilt of that, too!

Now, it’s true that Frog and Toad Are Friends, but it turns out they are related. In fact, a toad is a frog (which might be why my Papaw called them “toad frogs”). Both amphibians are in the “order” Anura, but they are in different “families.” I think that this little guy might be in the family Bufonidae, but I’ve been known to be wrong before. It happened once.

We don’t have any toads in our yard here in Denton, and I’m not sure why. I don’t use any kind of insecticides and we are overrun with lizards (skinks, anoles, chameleons, and newts) — but no toads. I wonder if they are just easy prey for the pair of chaparrals that hunt in our yard?

I miss seeing them, so I was delighted to find a “knot” of toads in Saint Jo, Texas on the patio of a marvelous restaurant we visited (I’ll tell you more about that restaurant and a winery later this week). The owner said that he had been watering near these rocks and estimated that they have around 100 toads living there. Those rocks are a little apartment complex for the toads! I had never seen that many in one place at one time (they wouldn’t “pose,” so I can’t show you all of them). Have you ever seen a knot of toads?

I suppose I could import some toads to my yard, but I’m afraid that the next thing I would tell you is that they (like Mrs. Hogwallop)

You would understand that reference, too, if you would watch O Brother, Where Art Thou?.

© Shelly for This Eclectic Life, 2011. | Permalink | 10 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: Critters, humor, Only The Good, photographs

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For the last several days, my mood has been soured by an experience with overprotective parents. They wrap their children in bubble wrap to shield them from hearing about the real world. Though I’ve been a bit indignant about the way they have acted toward me, my biggest concern has been the affect they are having on their children. I’ve worried that those parents are growing a generation of kids who cannot think for themselves. I decided (since I always seek only the good on Friday) to convince myself that there is hope for the next generation.

I darned sure did!

My first thought was to search for information about Lemons to Aid. It’s an organization to get kids helping kids. You probably heard about children having lemonade stands to raise money for the victims of the disasters in Japan and in Haiti. The site has all kinds of ideas for fundraisers for kids to do … my favorite is the “Lemon Drop.” Along with selling lemonade, the kids have a “shoe drop” … they collect shoes to send to Soles4Souls. It’s a great way to get kids interested in the issues of the larger world.

But, reading about that didn’t quite satisfy me. The project was initiated by a parent — not a child. I wanted something to show me that children can think for themselves.

That’s when I discovered Tyler Page. He is just one of my new heroes.

Ten-year-old Tyler was watching an episode of the Oprah Winfrey show (yes, his parents don’t shield him from the evils of television) that reported on the issue of child slavery in Ghana. He heard that just $240 could save a child from slavery, so he told his Momma that he wanted to raise that money. She praised him for the thought, I’m sure she patted him on the head and said, “That’s nice, Honey.” She figured that she had heard the last of it. After all, Tyler was just a normal kid who forgets to brush his teeth or pick up after himself.

Before the week was out, Tyler had a plan for a car wash and had enlisted the assistance of his principal and his whole school! They raised $1,200 … but that didn’t satisfy Tyler. Before 18 months had passed, he had raised $50,000! So he set the bar at $100,000, and reached that 18 months later. Now, he’s got his sights set on $500,000! What a kid!

Just go read Tyler Page’s full story. While you are there, explore the website Tootlee, which explores the total potential in kids. I know it did my heart good to read the articles there.

You might discover the “world’s youngest philosopher.” His name is Ilia Kramark, and he was born in 2002 … but thinks deep thoughts. Yes, I scoffed, too, until I read this poem by Ilia:

Sigh.

I feel much better now. Although reading about these kids didn’t entirely cancel my negative experience with parents last week, I realize that it was a fluke. For every one child whose parents wrap them in a bubble to protect them from the world, there must be hundreds of parents who empower their children by encouraging them to think for themselves.

I can’t wait to see how these kids turn out in twenty years. I think the world is going to be a better place with adults who started out like these kids.

© Shelly for This Eclectic Life, 2011. | Permalink | 8 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: Give From The Heart, Only The Good, Only The Good Friday

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Trapped in the house, unable to navigate the icy roads, my mood turned gloomy. I needed a “chocolate fix” … and I needed it right away! Rummaging through the pantry, I was delighted to find a chocolate brownie mix. But, when I read the ingredients, I screamed, “Aaargh!” That meant, “Dadgum it! I don’t have eggs!” Depression loomed.

Glancing out the window, I noticed the snow piled like a thick layer of confectioner’s sugar on the porch railing. My mother often piled that powdery sugar on top of a cake, because she didn’t like to make icing. Usually, it was thick enough to choke a horse. I remembered that she put it on a chocolate cake she called “Wacky Cake.” It was called that because the recipe didn’t require milk, butter, or eggs…

Wacky Cake! That was the answer! In her battered metal recipe box, I found the stained index card with her Wacky Cake recipe and frantically pulled ingredients from the cabinet. In less than an hour, I satisfied my need for chocolate!

Do y’all turn to the foods of your childhood when you need comfort? I certainly do. This Wacky Cake recipe was one of Momma’s favorites, because after a hard day at the office she wanted to keep those four kids of hers quiet with a dessert that mixed up quickly. Wacky Cake does! Mix up quickly AND keep the kids quiet (if you share it). In fact, it takes me longer to lick the mixing bowl than it does to make the batter.

Since this is Friday (and I like to think about only the good on Friday), I’ll share the recipe. It’s my way of wishing you a happy Friday. I’m betting that some of you are familiar with it.

To make Wacky Cake, first you put on some music that you think is pretty wonderful. I either choose a CD by Keb Mo or one by Queen. Preheat the oven to 350°. Prepare a baking pan (grease and flour it). Gather the following ingredients:

• 1 1/2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour
• 1 cup sugar
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 3 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• 1 teaspoon vinegar
• 5 tablespoons vegetable oil
• 1 cup cold water

Gently plop them all into a mixing bowl. It doesn’t matter what order you add the ingredients, but I like to put the dry ingredients first (with baking soda on top), then add the vinegar and the other liquids. Why? Because I like to see it fizz when the vinegar hits the baking soda. That thrilled me as a kid, and I still get a kick out of it.

Stir the ingredients until it is well mingled. The batter won’t look very dark, but once it’s cooked, the cake turns to deep chocolate. Put it into the baking pan and pop it into the oven to bake it until it tests done with a toothpick (usually 25-30 minutes).

While you wait for it to cook, lick the mixing bowl and dance around the kitchen a little. Perhaps even wash the dishes, so you can enjoy your chocolate cake with no worries.

You can put your favorite icing on the cake, or pile Confectioner’s sugar on top … or just eat it plain (or with ice cream). It’s delicious, and will cure your depression in a hurry.

Speaking of which, after looking on-line a bit I discovered that sometimes this cake was called “Depression Cake,” because during the Great Depression there were shortages of eggs and milk. Some brilliant soul discovered this recipe that Momma called Wacky Cake.

I noticed that in some recipes people add strange ingredients like coffee to the cake. I’ve considered adding bacon (the fifth major food group), but I figure you don’t mess with perfection.

So, have you had a cake like this before? What “in-a-hurry” dessert is your favorite?

© Shelly for This Eclectic Life, 2011. | Permalink | 9 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: Only The Good Friday, recipes

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Tomorrow is “Make a Difference Day.” It’s not a national holiday or anything … it’s a day that USA Weekend Magazine has designated as a day to help others (always the fourth Saturday in October). People all over the United States are making an event out of helping others. Some of the projects might even win a cash award from Newman’s Own and get national headlines. Don’t get me wrong … I think it’s marvelous incentive to get people involved … but what about the rest of the year?

According to the USA Weekend Magazine website : “In 2009, 3 million people cared enough about their communities to volunteer on that day, accomplishing thousands of projects in hundreds of towns.” Imagine what we could do if all of those people who got involved for one day carried that over to EVERY day!

Being part of a big community project is a marvelous thing, but the act of giving — of making a difference — should be as natural to us as breathing. We need to reach past our differences and reach out to each other.

It doesn’t take that much to make a difference!

• The simple act of opening a door for someone and offering a smile makes a difference. Try it and see.
• Let someone merge into the lane of traffic. You’d want them to do it for you!
• Tote the trash cans for an elderly neighbor. It might make all the difference in their day! While you are at it, offer to pick up some groceries for that elderly neighbor when you are on the way to the store. Check on them when the weather is inclement to make sure their home is a comfortable temperature. Or, drop off a plate of chicken and dumplings (in a container they can freeze) when you make a big batch.
• Offer to babysit for a single mom. Or, buy her some diapers. Make sure her kids have warm coats and school supplies. Is Santa going to be able to make it to their house this year?
• When you see someone at the store counting pennies to buy milk and bread, drop a five dollar bill on the floor and say, “I think you dropped this” and walk away.
• Don’t walk past that McDonald’s bag that someone tossed near the trash can on the street. Bend down and pick it up … it’s good exercise.

The list could go on ad infinitum. In fact, why don’t you leave a comment with a suggestion or two?

On Make A Difference Day, don’t hesitate to join with others to volunteer for a good cause. But, remember that we can “make a difference” in our world every doggone day. We just have to open our eyes to the possibilities.

“We must become the change we want to see in the world.”
~~Mohandas Gandhi

Let’s make a difference 365 days out of the year.

© Shelly for This Eclectic Life, 2010. | Permalink | 8 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: Only The Good Friday

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