Shelly's Sassy Essays

MOST of my posts fall into this category. I tell a lot of stories. In fact, I talk in "story" all the time. I appreciate you stopping by to visit, and I hope you enjoy. That's why I write this stuff, after all.

Wedding Bells Will Be Ringing

March 18, 2010

Do you hear us all abuzz at our house? We couldn’t be more tickled. Our boy is getting married.
Technically, Ian is my husband’s oldest son. Although I am just the “wicked stepmother,” he feels like one of mine. Click that picture above to see a larger view of this beautiful couple. [...]

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The Consensus on The Census

March 16, 2010

“In 1790, it cost 1¢ per person to take the U.S. Census. In 1990, it was $10.45 per person.” This is information I gleaned from Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader, which is on my “library” shelf in the bathroom. That tidbit may be as worthless as the toilet tissue I use as a [...]

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Slight Pause

March 13, 2010

Sometimes you have to “fill the creative well.” I’m telling stories and listening to stories just at the moment. It’s the weekend of the 25th annual Texas Storytelling Festival. What is it that the kids always text to each other? “TTFN. BRB” I think that’s supposed to mean, “TaTa for [...]

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Sin Tax On Soda Pop?

March 9, 2010

The nightly news reported that Mayor Michael Bloomberg of New York is encouraging lawmakers to place a penny-per-ounce tax on the sale of sodas sold in his state. Do what? While the news story focused on the fact that Americans are obese, and putting a tax on sugary drinks will help fight that [...]

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Wistful Thinking

March 5, 2010

Two garments live side by side in my closet. Hanging together … as they did many years ago. Neither is particularly attractive or stylish; both have seen better days. Their fabric is “pilled,” as so often happens with knits that have been washed many times, although I have washed neither of them [...]

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Guilt

March 4, 2010

Darkness fell as we were driving across Central Texas, and Mr. Tucker and I were feeling a bit “peckish,” as we had not had any supper. Because we wanted to continue our drive, we didn’t want to find one of those “sit-down” restaurants I like to discover. We just stopped at a Taco [...]

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Down The Tubes

March 3, 2010

All of the five cats at my house are neurotic. Wait a minute … if I say “cat” and “neurotic” in the same sentence, am I being redundant, and repeating myself, also, too, as well?
No matter.
The point is my cats are all crazy, but one in particular is driving me [...]

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The Playhouse

February 23, 2010

[I've been working on a project that I'm finding difficult, but I have to finish it. I MUST! You see, I heard my mother's voice telling me, as she often did, "You are just like your father." She didn't necessarily mean that in a good way. Every time I think those [...]

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What’s Afoot

February 15, 2010

“You like to go barefoot a lot,” he said. I nodded in reply. “Or else, you wear slippers, sandals, or low heels. But, that wasn’t always the case. At one time, you used to cram your feet into tiny shoes that you thought were cute.”
It was uncanny! How could he [...]

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What Would You Put In A Time Capsule?

February 14, 2010

Have y’all ever been around when a time capsule was opened? I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. Sometimes when laying the cornerstone for a building, folks used to bury a box in it that held memorabilia and artifacts from their time. It was to be opened at a future date, [...]

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Unless You Dwell In A Cave, There Are Things You Should Know

February 10, 2010

Reflex action caused me to answer that ringing land line, although I expected it to be a solicitor. It’s a good thing I did, because there was an emergency down the street. A plumbing emergency — and if you’ve ever had one of your own you know how dire it can be!
“Shelly!” my [...]

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Are Encyclopedias Extinct In The Digital Age?

February 6, 2010

When I was about eleven or twelve years old, a group of us stopped our heated debate over which Beatle was the most adorable (my favorite was Ringo, of course) and moved on to the more cerebral topic of books. The question arose: “If you were stranded alone on a desert island and could [...]

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Postmarks From The Heart

February 3, 2010

Do you want to send a Valentine card to your sweetie that has an envelope as exciting as the card? Or, do you have a wedding coming up and want to make the envelopes special? You can get a special “love-themed” postmark from several post offices around the USA. Valentine’s Day is [...]

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Sure It Can Play, But Can It Sing?

January 24, 2010

Have I told you that my husband is a musician? Well, he is an engineer for a living, but he plays music in his spare time. He can play darned near any musical instrument that you can imagine except drums. The only reason that he doesn’t play drums is that we don’t [...]

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Titillation Part Two

January 21, 2010

At my age, I’ve decided that life is too short to read books I don’t enjoy. A book has to titillate me in the first chapter, or I’ll close it and walk away. Now, I defined “titillate” in Part One, so stop tittering about it. I simply mean that a book has [...]

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Titillation: Part One

January 20, 2010

Hey, stop it! “Titillate” is a perfectly fine verb meaning “to excite another, especially in a superficial, pleasurable manner.” Though it can be used in an erotic sense, that isn’t the intent of the word. But, if you want to see a group of adults collapse into a paroxysm of nervous giggling [...]

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Floating In Memories

January 19, 2010

Close your eyes and remember a trip to your grandmother’s house. Wait … hold on … don’t close them yet! Read the post first. I want you to do some visualizing, but I want you to know where we are going with it. You can even use this as a writing [...]

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A Different Spin On Menus

January 18, 2010

Sometimes restaurants go to great lengths with their decorations to distract you from the fact that the food is inferior. That was not the case on Friday night. Our menus were handed to us encased in old album covers. The menu items were printed on labels that were stuck to old vinyl [...]

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Life Would Be A Dinglederry, If I Only Had A Brain

January 13, 2010

My life resembles the soundtrack from the Wizard of Oz. Like the Scarecrow, I go around singing “If I Only Had A Brain.” But, wait! I do have a brain … in fact, I keep it in the living room so that everyone will see it. Unfortunately, it’s just a brain [...]

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An Organ for your Pocket

January 11, 2010

I have to tell y’all that when I met my husband he had three organs! As I became more organized, I made sure he became less so. I made him get rid of two of them. But, my husband’s remaining organ weighs 300 pounds and has to be moved with a dolly. [...]

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