Silly Is My Middle Name

OK. This is my favorite category. My sense of humor is sometimes a bit "twisted," but it goes with the territory. Thanks for visiting!

My Muse, Or Inner Child, Loves The Library

January 9, 2010

[Editor's Note: There is a "voice" that talks to me inside my head ... some would postulate that there are several voices in there. The one I recognize, I call Muse, but other people might call Her the "Inner Child." She is definitely that. Talking to Her is a bit like talking [...]

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There Is A Worm In My Apple: Bookworm!

October 13, 2009

If the board game “Boggle” and the video game “Tetris” had a “nooner” at the Motel Six, the resulting “love child” would be an application for my iPhone called “Bookworm.”
I have done it again! I’ve gained another addiction! Was it not enough that I am addicted to bacon? To coffee? To [...]

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No More Excuses For No Grocery Bags

July 9, 2009

Down at the coffee shop this morning, I conducted an informal poll. Folks sitting at the tables there are accustomed to me dropping by and asking stupid questions and, thankfully, they put up with me. I asked ten people, “What is the easiest baby step that a person can take to ‘go green’?”
Surprisingly [...]

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I Want To Be Queen

July 1, 2009

I have to tell y’all that bacon is the reason I get out of bed in the morning. Well, that and I have to pee (which was probably more information than you wanted to read). This morning I awoke and found my pillow drenched with drool, because I had been dreaming about fried [...]

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The Knack

May 14, 2009

I’m sorry. This Dilbert video is a little bit of “engineering humor. If you don’t get it, that’s OK. Mr. Tucker gets it, because he’s got it … “the Knack,” that is.
If you don’t live with an engineer, you don’t understand this at all. I’m not sure that I always [...]

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It’s All Geek To Me

May 13, 2009

Have y’all ever been in a foreign country and didn’t speak the language? Perhaps you were surrounded by people who didn’t speak your language either. All of a sudden you have to go to the bathroom, but you don’t know the word to call it.
When you try express yourself to ask [...]

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To Catch A Teenager

May 4, 2009

So, have y’all seen that Dateline NBC show, “To Catch A Predator?” You know the one: that guy Chris Hansen sets up a sting to catch slimeballs who talk to teenage girls on the internet and arrange to meet them for a “good time” (wink, wink). Oh, Chris Hansen is merciless, isn’t [...]

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My Muse Assures Me That Grief Is Good

April 30, 2009

[Editor's note: If you have been here before, you might know that my Muse is just ONE of the voices that talk regularly in my head. This isn't our first conversation. The Muse is a bit childish. She loves to play dress up, go out and play or shop, eat chocolate, [...]

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A Ditty For Idiot Drivers

April 29, 2009

We were trying to mitigate our road rage last weekend, as we continuously encountered really stupid drivers. Texas does not have a monopoly on dumb drivers, but because there are a lot of people in the state, it seems like we have more than our fair share. So, my husband and I wrote [...]

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We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Waterboards

April 28, 2009

As more information comes to light about the heinous waterboard torture used on suspected terrorists, it is obvious to me that it is time women were running this country. We would never need to resort to any form of torture that violates the Geneva Convention. Women are much more creative. Witness the [...]

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Sometimes Life is Like a 404 Error Page

April 16, 2009

You know what a “404 error page” is don’t you? When you read those words on your computer screen, it means that the URL (link) that you just followed took you to nowhere. You didn’t get where you intended to go. You have to backtrack and head in a different direction, because [...]

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Another Argument With My Muse

April 14, 2009

“You woke me up at 2:30 this morning, Muse! What do you think you are doing?”
“I wanted to write a haiku.”
“Ridiculous! I need my beauty rest.”
“It doesn’t matter how long you sleep — it’s not going to help you.”
“Don’t get funny.”
“But, you always tell me you want me to be funny. Let’s [...]

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To Err Is Human, To Share Is Divine

April 7, 2009

To be absolutely honest, I blatantly stole that title quote. It’s a line in a book by Margaret Mason called No One Cares What You Had for Lunch: 100 Ideas for Your Blog. It’s worth the read whether you are a beginning blogger or have been blogging for years (because we all [...]

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Am I Having More Fun Yet?

March 29, 2009

You betcha! So, like, I decided to go blonde, and Mr. Tucker said, “Say something stupid.”
But, like, I don’t have to be a blonde to do that.
I want to get a job proof-reading M & Ms, because I’m tired of getting all those “w”s, aren’t you? I was going to drink [...]

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BACON Camp? In San Francisco!

March 19, 2009

Did anybody win the lottery last night? Does anybody want to sponsor me? I NEED FUNDING NOW! Somebody help me out here. Nobody told me there is a “Bacon Camp” in San Francisco! As if I needed another reason to want to go to San Francisco!
YES! And, it’s coming [...]

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Lip Service

March 15, 2009

Sometimes I just pay “lip service” to being frugal, but don’t call me to give me any lip about it! That’s my “new to me” telephone (I don’t really know if it is vintage) — but, yes, it really works. I have named my new “hot lips” phone Angelina — doesn’t it remind [...]

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Saddest Coffee Table Book On Earth

March 12, 2009

I heard a comedian (I was nearly asleep and didn’t get her name) mention this book the other night, and I didn’t believe it existed. I looked it up this morning and there it was:

Vegan Cooking For One?? Yes, folks, y’all can buy this book to proudly display on your coffee table. [...]

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Wear Clean Underwear

March 11, 2009

“Wear clean underwear, in case you are in an accident!”
I actually heard my grandmother utter that cliché once. Y’all thought that was just a joke people used, didn’t you?
I’m not sure I understand exactly why clean underwear would be important. How can I put this “delicately?” I’m telling you that [...]

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Black, White, And Read All Over

March 9, 2009

Mr. Tucker finds our little old daily newspaper to be a boring read. Or, maybe he just couldn’t find his glasses.
I’ve taken a break from the internet for a few days, because Mr. Tucker had some vacation time. Supposedly it was in honor of my birthday. If the truth is told, it [...]

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Practicing Avoidance

February 24, 2009

That’s the screen saver I have on my iPhone. The face was hanging on the wall at that wonderful hotel in Madisonville, Texas that I told y’all about. I told you a three part ghost story, (if you didn’t see it start with Just My Imagination?). I wish I had taken a [...]

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