Dear Ellen Degeneres, You Steered Me Wrong!

August 24, 2011

Dear Ellen Degeneres, I am so disappointed in you! After Oprah left, I thought you would be the “new guru,” telling all of us out in television viewer land how we should think and what we should do. The truth is that you were always my guru; I admit I have a girl crush on [...]

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Envy Me. I Had A Facial At Massage Envy.

August 5, 2011

My face feels as smooth as a baby’s bottom since I went for a facial at Massage Envy in Corinth. If you have never had a facial before, I’m not going to lie to you — there is a part of the process that hurts like Thunder! But, it’s like the pain of childbirth: you [...]

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Smelling LUSH-ous

August 19, 2010

I bent my head to the side and pointed to my neck, “Take a whiff, Honey,” I said to my husband. “I smell like San Francisco!” My Sweet Spousal Unit shrugged and said, “As long as you don’t smell like a BART station.” I glared at him with my most evil eye! [Note: For those [...]

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We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Waterboards

April 28, 2009

As more information comes to light about the heinous waterboard torture used on suspected terrorists, it is obvious to me that it is time women were running this country. We would never need to resort to any form of torture that violates the Geneva Convention. Women are much more creative. Witness the epilator. Yes, the [...]

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Beauty Doesn’t Last Forever, And Neither Does Your Makeup

June 8, 2008

When I was in my twenties, I prided myself on the fact that I didn’t wear makeup. I guess that I was having my belated “Hippie” phase, and I thought I was totally cool because I eschewed such extravagances. When false eyelashes were “in style,” I sneered that they made women look like they had [...]

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Chewbaka Has Nothing On Me

March 22, 2007

My friend, Robyn, informed me a few days ago that it was the first day of spring. I haven’t been looking at my calendar, so somehow I missed that. However, I already knew that spring was officially here in Texas, because I had already uncovered my pasty white legs to wear shorts. Actually, they were [...]

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The Authenticity Pledge