Posts tagged as:

humor

The Consensus on The Census

March 16, 2010

“In 1790, it cost 1¢ per person to take the U.S. Census. In 1990, it was $10.45 per person.” This is information I gleaned from Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader, which is on my “library” shelf in the bathroom. That tidbit may be as worthless as the toilet tissue I use as a [...]

Did that whet your appetite for more? →

Down The Tubes

March 3, 2010

All of the five cats at my house are neurotic. Wait a minute … if I say “cat” and “neurotic” in the same sentence, am I being redundant, and repeating myself, also, too, as well?
No matter.
The point is my cats are all crazy, but one in particular is driving me [...]

Did that whet your appetite for more? →

Hoodoo Cat

February 27, 2010

We were given this tiny stone that was painted with a cat’s face upon it … like we need another cat when we already have FIVE! This one, however, came with some “hoodoo power.”

I hear you murmuring, “Hoodoo power? What does she mean by that?”
I dunno! That’s what the card said. [...]

Did that whet your appetite for more? →

Devilishly Delicious Eggs

February 24, 2010

What did an egg ever do to deserve “purgatory?” It never even had the chance to hatch into a chicken to fowl foul the barnyard! I saw a recipe called “Eggs in Purgatory” and had to investigate. I’m sure there is some kind of metaphor in the name, but I didn’t pay [...]

Did that whet your appetite for more? →

Am I Doomed To Trash This Project?

February 22, 2010

I forgot my shopping bags when I went on my shopping spree to “BigLots!” They spell it with that exclamation at the end, but don’t get excited if you have never been there. As my Papaw would say, “It ain’t much.” My mission had been to buy washcloths so I could be [...]

Did that whet your appetite for more? →

What Would You Put In A Time Capsule?

February 14, 2010

Have y’all ever been around when a time capsule was opened? I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. Sometimes when laying the cornerstone for a building, folks used to bury a box in it that held memorabilia and artifacts from their time. It was to be opened at a future date, [...]

Did that whet your appetite for more? →

Seek And Ye Shall Find

February 5, 2010

Some of you know that on this blog I only post good things on Friday. By that, I mean “not negative.” As I told you in the beginning if we look for the good, we are likely to find it. Some days it is harder to find good than on others, but [...]

Did that whet your appetite for more? →

Sure It Can Play, But Can It Sing?

January 24, 2010

Have I told you that my husband is a musician? Well, he is an engineer for a living, but he plays music in his spare time. He can play darned near any musical instrument that you can imagine except drums. The only reason that he doesn’t play drums is that we don’t [...]

Did that whet your appetite for more? →

Titillation Part Two

January 21, 2010

At my age, I’ve decided that life is too short to read books I don’t enjoy. A book has to titillate me in the first chapter, or I’ll close it and walk away. Now, I defined “titillate” in Part One, so stop tittering about it. I simply mean that a book has [...]

Did that whet your appetite for more? →

Titillation: Part One

January 20, 2010

Hey, stop it! “Titillate” is a perfectly fine verb meaning “to excite another, especially in a superficial, pleasurable manner.” Though it can be used in an erotic sense, that isn’t the intent of the word. But, if you want to see a group of adults collapse into a paroxysm of nervous giggling [...]

Did that whet your appetite for more? →

Life Would Be A Dinglederry, If I Only Had A Brain

January 13, 2010

My life resembles the soundtrack from the Wizard of Oz. Like the Scarecrow, I go around singing “If I Only Had A Brain.” But, wait! I do have a brain … in fact, I keep it in the living room so that everyone will see it. Unfortunately, it’s just a brain [...]

Did that whet your appetite for more? →

An Organ for your Pocket

January 11, 2010

I have to tell y’all that when I met my husband he had three organs! As I became more organized, I made sure he became less so. I made him get rid of two of them. But, my husband’s remaining organ weighs 300 pounds and has to be moved with a dolly. [...]

Did that whet your appetite for more? →

My Muse, Or Inner Child, Loves The Library

January 9, 2010

[Editor's Note: There is a "voice" that talks to me inside my head ... some would postulate that there are several voices in there. The one I recognize, I call Muse, but other people might call Her the "Inner Child." She is definitely that. Talking to Her is a bit like talking [...]

Did that whet your appetite for more? →

Are We Addicted To Cell Phones?

January 5, 2010

Do y’all think that we spend too much time on those cell phones of ours? Sometimes it seems like folks talk on them all the dadgum time.
This fella was riding in a parade here in Denton (I showed you pictures of the North Texas State Fair Parade back in August), and he couldn’t stop [...]

Did that whet your appetite for more? →

Calendar Girl

December 31, 2009

I gave it the “good old college try.” Perhaps I did not matriculate at the proper institute of higher learning? Last year I tried to use the calendar on my telephone and Google Calendar to try to keep my life “in order” … it was THE most disorganized year of my life! [...]

Did that whet your appetite for more? →

New Year’s Briefs

December 30, 2009

On New Year’s Eve are y’all going to be wearing your yellow underwear or your red underwear? I’m told that in Mexico the colors of your briefs are significant. If you wear yellow underwear (and it has to come in yellow hues from the store, mind you) it will bring you financial success [...]

Did that whet your appetite for more? →

I Am Aflame For My Kindle

December 16, 2009

When Oprah did a show back in the fall of 2008 featuring the Kindle, an electronic reading device, I was curious enough to go on-line and check the price. Now, I’m here to tell you that I do not do everything that Oprah Winfrey tells me to do. In fact, I try [...]

Did that whet your appetite for more? →

Garlic Is Indeed A Tuber, But Should It Be In A Tube?

December 9, 2009

Garlic in a tube? As little as a year ago you never would have convinced me to cook with this Gourmet Garden Garlic Spice Blend. Now, y’all, I love to cook with garlic (and I love eating garlic even better). I get that from my Daddy’s side of the family. My [...]

Did that whet your appetite for more? →

Decorating Is For The Birds

December 7, 2009

At least, the decorating I have been doing the past couple of days is for the birds. And it’s for the squirrels, and the possums, and the mice … and probably even for the coyotes who will come to eat the other critters if they aren’t quick. I know, that thought is sad, [...]

Did that whet your appetite for more? →

I Sound Like Grandpa Simpson

December 1, 2009

“So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on ‘em. ‘Give me five bees for a quarter,’ you’d say.” ~ Grandpa Simpson
I just bought a bottle of Gatorade in the lobby [...]

Did that whet your appetite for more? →

← Previous Entries

The Authenticity Pledge