Can We Please Re-name Senior Discounts?

May 9, 2012

Apparently my grocery store has realized that I have “reached a certain age.” It seems that, simply by virtue of the fact that I didn’t die young and leave a good-looking corpse, I now qualify for the “Senior Discount.” They couldn’t just tell me that — no. They print it right there on the receipt [...]

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It Was A Sabbatical

January 6, 2012

“Did you get lost in the shopping mall?” my reader asked. “Why aren’t you blogging?” No, I did not get lost in the shopping mall, and clearly she doesn’t know me very well. It takes an act of Congress to get me to enter the mall. Y’all realize, of course, that our current Congress rarely [...]

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Dear Ellen Degeneres, You Steered Me Wrong!

August 24, 2011

Dear Ellen Degeneres, I am so disappointed in you! After Oprah left, I thought you would be the “new guru,” telling all of us out in television viewer land how we should think and what we should do. The truth is that you were always my guru; I admit I have a girl crush on [...]

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I’ve Been Everywhere, Man, I’ve Been Everywhere.

July 17, 2011

Facebook gets me giggling sometimes because I have some extremely hilarious friends. One of them is Catherine Crowley, a marvelous storyteller/educator who was born to be a comedian. She loves wordplay, which is my favorite kind of humor. Lately she posted a few lines that she stole from someone, so I stole them from her: [...]

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Whee, Whee, Whee! All The Way Home.

July 16, 2011

While driving along Texas Highway 64, near Ben Wheeler in East Texas, I saw a sight that first made me snort with laughter, then made me shout to my husband, “Stop! It’s a photo-op!” You never know what you will find on those country back roads in my neck of the woods. We were on [...]

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Rapunzel No More

July 14, 2011

Y’all probably don’t know this, because I usually only show you a picture of my eyes, but I have always had long hair. I’m talking extremely long. I don’t know why I felt compelled to wear it that way. Rapunzel had nothing on me, and I certainly understood the word “tangled.” Maybe I was clinging [...]

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Excuse Me, Gotta Run

July 20, 2010

I was trying to compensate for the fact that we were serving our guests pizza that my husband had brought home from work the day before. They were perfectly untouched pizzas, and nobody spat in them or anything, but I felt guilty. So, I bought a truckload of fresh fruit: watermelon, cantaloupe, pineapple, grapes, cherries. [...]

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Zap!

May 12, 2010

I’m buried in paperwork! Send reinforcements! In desperation I am attacking a pile of paper work that has been hanging like the Sword of Damocles over my head. OK, maybe that’s not the right image. Technically it is spread all over my desk, the bed, the floor and three card tables; and it won’t stab [...]

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My Muse, Or Inner Child, Loves The Library

January 9, 2010

[Editor's Note: There is a "voice" that talks to me inside my head ... some would postulate that there are several voices in there. The one I recognize, I call Muse, but other people might call Her the "Inner Child." She is definitely that. Talking to Her is a bit like talking to a seven [...]

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Defining Myself With Wordle

November 24, 2009

Do y’all ever get introspective? I’m going through that right now. It seems as if I “morph” every seven years or so and become a different person altogether. When that happens, I’m worthless as a writer, so this morning I’ve just been playing. After reading a post by Israeli Mom, who directed her readers to [...]

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There Is A Worm In My Apple: Bookworm!

October 13, 2009

If the board game “Boggle” and the video game “Tetris” had a “nooner” at the Motel Six, the resulting “love child” would be an application for my iPhone called “Bookworm.” I have done it again! I’ve gained another addiction! Was it not enough that I am addicted to bacon? To coffee? To cheesy mystery novels? [...]

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Julie & Julia Gave Me A Blogging Idea!

September 9, 2009

Raise your hand if you saw the movie Julie & Julia. What? You missed it? I consider it “a must see” for all bloggers. It will instill in you all over again that desire for the elusive satisfaction of being a successful blogger. It’s going to inspire thousands of folks to start blogs expecting fame [...]

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Dirty Little Secret

September 3, 2009

I’m a Judge Judy Junkie. There. I said it. I have to tell y’all that I am relieved to have finally “outed” myself by telling you my dirty little secret. For two and I half years I have tried to deceive you into believing that I’m all good and kind. I’ve tried to convince you [...]

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I Want To Be Queen

July 1, 2009

I have to tell y’all that bacon is the reason I get out of bed in the morning. Well, that and I have to pee (which was probably more information than you wanted to read). This morning I awoke and found my pillow drenched with drool, because I had been dreaming about fried pig meat. [...]

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If Wishes Were Horses

May 26, 2009

My Papaw didn’t take too much stock in “wishes.” He always said, “If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.” Papaw had other colorful phrases, as well. He said, “IF a frog had wings, it wouldn’t bump its butt when it hops.” He didn’t like us to use the word “if.” Papaw believed we should just [...]

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Up, Up, And Away

May 18, 2009

I was not a Boy Scout, so the motto “Be Prepared” never imprinted itself on my brain. I was only in Camp Fire Girls, and our motto was “WoHeLo,” which means “Work, Health, Love.” The “work” and “health” part didn’t imprint either, but I digress. Mr. Tucker and I went to get coffee a few [...]

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The Knack

May 14, 2009

I’m sorry. This Dilbert video is a little bit of “engineering humor. If you don’t get it, that’s OK. Mr. Tucker gets it, because he’s got it … “the Knack,” that is. If you don’t live with an engineer, you don’t understand this at all. I’m not sure that I always do. I asked Mr. [...]

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To Catch A Teenager

May 4, 2009

So, have y’all seen that Dateline NBC show, “To Catch A Predator?” You know the one: that guy Chris Hansen sets up a sting to catch slimeballs who talk to teenage girls on the internet and arrange to meet them for a “good time” (wink, wink). Oh, Chris Hansen is merciless, isn’t he? Last night [...]

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My Muse Assures Me That Grief Is Good

April 30, 2009

[Editor's note: If you have been here before, you might know that my Muse is just ONE of the voices that talk regularly in my head. This isn't our first conversation. The Muse is a bit childish. She loves to play dress up, go out and play or shop, eat chocolate, guzzle triple-shot mochas, and [...]

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We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Waterboards

April 28, 2009

As more information comes to light about the heinous waterboard torture used on suspected terrorists, it is obvious to me that it is time women were running this country. We would never need to resort to any form of torture that violates the Geneva Convention. Women are much more creative. Witness the epilator. Yes, the [...]

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